‘32 — Sunday, August 23, 1992 - North Shere News

HELP’S AT Hand, by North Shore Community Services (NSCS), is a forum for discussing government policies and pro- grams, benefits, consumer and legal rights, taxation and public services.

Answers are intended only as a general guide and should not be applied to individual cases without further consultation.

Question: A- geod friend of mine lives with a nan who gets pretty aggressive towards her. As far as I know he has hit her once,

| but has promised that it won't

-. happen again.

However,” he really pute her down in front af. their friends and - children. I have tried to suggest - that she leave him, or do some- ‘. thing about it, but she says he will change and that she loveshim. -- What can I do to help? I'm worried about her, but her at- titnde also frastrates me.

'- Answer: Statistics show that a -.. woman’ in an abusive. relationship > Will attempt te. leave it five to "seven times before making 2 a fi nal <2 break. |

itis. difficult ‘for ‘those of us

- “who. have .nevet_been ‘in. a similar

:, situation’ to. understand ‘this: We ask ourselves, why a.woman would

may-~.be. ‘surprising - to: tearn that:she ‘still loves ‘him, but there undoubtedly; good times and

of love 1 in the relationship.

inkin; about: ‘eaving the: . houses and other services around

relat. ynshi your. friend ..

“they hav

ciel +. Mumber is 1-300- is not'surprising then’ ‘he betrayed

tive of them leaving the relation- ship. Cultural, religious, or family traditions can all play a part in preventing a woman from acting in the best interest of herself and her children.

For women who are financiaily dependent on their husband’s in- come, the threat of leaving is even greater.

She will be asking herself ques- tions about where she will live, how she will care for her children and how she will make money to ive.

Women who have deen

tolerating abuse suffer from very.

low self-esteem. Because of this, some women may actually believe that they do something to deserve or cause the cruelty and abuse to happen. In some cases this is what their partner tells them.

Quite often the abused woman.

will have grown up in. a home where her mother was abused by her husband, or where she herself was abused, and sadly, this is her understanding of how women are meant to be treated.

As you can see, there are” “many factors — both’ social and indi- vidual —.. working against a woman wishing to change her sit-

mation. . Fortunately, there are’ services

in. most communities. that — will support her in making the changes

= whether they are gradual or ~- immediate.

‘In next week’s column we will talk about transition houses and their services.

On the North Shore the North:

Shore . Crisis. Services Society operates the Emily Murphy House for battered women. They can be

Teached by calling the 24-hour crisis line ‘at 987-3374. General ‘inquiries can be“ made through their office at 987-1773.

The. Victim’s Information Line can provide referral. to -transition

the : province. The toll-free 842-8468, and the hours are from. 8:30 a.m. to

.7:30 p.m., Monday to Friday.

This column is prepared. with

“~° financial assistance from the

: Notary Foundation. For more’ in-

sr-- formation call NSCS at 985-7138.

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