4 ~ Wednesday, December 4,

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PARTIES.-{ don’t go to them that often. For

-1985:°~ North ‘Shore News

vt

| Bob Hunter

© strictly personal e

«

-one thing, I usually drink, and while I don’t ALWAYS make an ass of myself, it has been known to happen. It runs in the species.

In the bad old days, like a lot of other folks, I would actually sometimes drive home in a less than totally alert fashion. "Nuff ‘said. Now, of course, I’m one of the legions of Goodie Two-Shoes whose. con- science has been reached by the MADD campaign or those billboards and com- mercials showing a little guy asking his lunched-out Dad not to drive.

It could be I’m just maybe growing up. But that seems unlikely at this stage. You can't break the mold. Besides, I’m not the only one affected.

It is hard to say, exactly, what causes a change in public attitudes. But I do know it has become some- what chic to worry about getting home alive. I even know hosts (I’m one of them) who start watching their guests’ booze con- sumption about halfway through the evening, and start offering coffee at least an hour before you think you can hope to get tid of them. ©

If somebody’s over for an evening, of socializing (i.e., getting tanked and blathering), unless they’re going to be taking a cab home, we try to get them to stay overnight. There’s an extra bed, a cabin at the back and a foldout sofa, so why take a chance on dying horribly or, more likely, running over somebody’s teenager?

I know, this sounds, all very wimpy. What hap-

pened to old macho blind drunk drag-racing through the neighborhood at 2 a.m. to impress the girls? Dun- no. It just doesn’t seem so cool any longer.

Of course, taxis aren’t cheap, but the dent they put in your cash flow sim- ply doesn’t comapre to a dent in your head.

My favorite taxi com- pany, Sunshine Cabs, of- fers a wonderful service that has probably saved my life a few times. The nice thing about being taken home in a Caddie is that you can pass. out quite comfortably in the back. In. fact, a whole gang of you could.

The Christmas party season makes rne uneasy, [ must admit. Losing my nerve, I guess. As the in- vitations begin to arrive, the logistics of yuletide survival become a domi- nant theme. How can I go to this, this and that, and come out alive?

What my wife and I do is alternate. At one yule bash, she stays sober and drives. At the next, I do. If you can’t work a dea! out like that, the next most sensible thing is to get together with some other people and split a cab.

An interesting side-effect of staying sober at a party, of course, is that the urge to leave comes a lot sooner. When. you're not ‘stoned yourself, the in- credibly witty things

everyone is saying might still seem incredible, but witty?

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My wife and I have a system of subtle signals for these situations. We agree on a time beforehand. Once the gong strikes mid- night, or whatever, if I have been the one permit- ted to drink, it is her duty to get me out, even if | have become crazed with sociability.

In this case, a simple /

knee to the gui and a karate chop across the back of the neck as I crumple to the floor usual- ly do the trick. In the event that she’s the drinker, well, it is my task to throw a hammerlock on her and wrangle her out the door. There are a few places down in the States where the hosts have been found liable by the courts in cases of drunken guests running someone over on the way

home. This has the ring of [

a bell-wether. 1 wouldn’t wish it on us, but there is a certain logic involved, a variation on the ancient

Chinese notion that if you }

saved a person’s life, you became responsible for them.

If you cause someone, through pouring them drinks ali night, to kill or be killed, the law may not at the moment point a finger .at you, but the moral truth is it is your fault almost as much as your guzzling guest’s.

Hey. I’m just the bearer of the news. I can’t stand Perrier myself and coffee late at night keeps me awake for hours. But nei- ther one of them kills me, or anyone else.

Goodie, Two-shoes sign- ing out.

Sundays: Mon. - Fri.

_ OPEN SUNDAYS. OPEN . LATE WEEKNIGHTS.

TWO NORTH Shore post Offices will join 20 other post offices in the Lower Mainland in opening on the three Saturdays prior to Christmas. .

West Vancouver's post office and the North Van- couver Main office will be open Sat., Dec. 7, 14 and 21 from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.

The extended hours are being i:nplemented to both improve service and help hristmas shoppers who are mailing last-minute items or wish to purchase postal pro- ducts.

The mailing deadline for out-of-town items (first- class) is December 11th. In town items should be mailed

Post offices open Saturdays

by December 16.

Canada Post Corporation also announced last month a two-cent discount on postage for Christmas cards mailed to destinations in Canada. Special stamps packaged in booklets of ten, which sell for $3.20, became available in all postal outlets last month.

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