*

What's i ina name anyway? There's an entire school of thought — called | the

Kabilarian. philosophy — which says that names are the major determining factor in a person's life.

hg hate to think that this is

e. What can you do with a

namé like Bob, for instance?

Spell it backwards and it's still Bob...

_As for what “bob” means, it's either.a shilling, a weight on: ‘a plumb fine, a float, a short haircut, or a jerky; up- and-down motion -—- which you may interpret any way you like. —

A last name like Hunter is okay, I guess. I tell my kids: “Look, there are. two kinds of people in the world. The Hunters and the hunted.”

‘That gets lots of yuks around - the dinner table, although ‘ no one outside the immediate family seems to find it all that amusing.

I got ribbéd a lot in Newfoundland a few years ago when I. went there to protest. against the seal hunt. Once, in fact, I tried to calm down a mob of angry Newfies by making a joke.

“With a name like Hunter,” I told these seal hunters, “I can't be all bad.” The joke fell flatter than a flipper — but you see the point.

I remember, as a kid, there was one girl who was

FULL ELECTION RESULTS

IN WEDNESDAY'S NEWS

Two major topics for British Properties, Chartwell and Glenmore Homeowners: Future transportation in the province, and Responsible School Board Budgeting

Attend this Important Annual General Meeting of the British Properties and Area Homeowners Association.

Moet:

MARK SAGER

' everyone

worshipped by every boy for miles around, and she wasn't actually all that beautiful. It was her name: Dawn Greenfields. We stood in mute awe of her.

During the last provincial election, A noticed there was doomed from the beginning because of his name. He was a Socred: Les Keen.

I mean, if your last name was Keen, and your Dad mamed you Les, wouldn't you want to strangle the old man in his sleep later on in life?

It can't be a coincidence that Mac-Blo, the forestry giant, hired a guy named Eric Green as their PR man. It’s a perfect PR move. All Eric has to do, .really, is sit there and be Green.

In School, every kid I knew who was named Arm- strong had strong arms.

I know one guy who changed his name from Moishe to Moses and still revels in the fact tends to bow slightly when they address him

My favourite “name” story occurred only recently. There was a court case in new York in which soft-core

that”

HON. JACK DAVIS

child porno star Brooke Shields was involved.

‘Her mother tried to sue Playboy magazine to prevent the publication of - some photos taken back before Brooke made it big by a professional photographer. ~ They consisted of various shots of Brooke, then. only 10 years. old, covered in oil,

_ Standing around naked.

The name of the photographer?

Gary Gross.

Yes, folks, this is real life

we're talking about.

In Russia, they've got such a terrible alcohol problem — mainly with vodka — that they've set up a new ministry to try to cope with it.

And so — are you ready? — they appointed exactly the right man for the job: Comrade Smirnoff.

Closer to home, I hope you noticed that there was quite a ruckus going on in Alberta among. the separatists. Seems they couldn't agree among themselves exactly which way they wanted to split.

The guy who emerged as the winner in the end, which means that he is un- doubtedly Western separatist of the lot, is — you guessed it — Wes Westmore.

1 kid you not.

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This ia an important opportunity tor you to participate in the annual election of directors tor 1981 nominations may be recetved trom the floor

This is your organization, working on your behalf to maintain property vatues and the pleasant at mosphere of living in West Vancouver Attend. and help us hetp you Further detatis in tho tatest tasue of “Tally-Ho ™

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