Williams’ fascinating journey of discovery deals with autism

SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE, BREAKING FREE FROM THE WORLD OF AUTISM, by Donna

Williams, Doubleday Canada

Lid., 238 pp., hardcover.

FTER YOU read this book, you will under- stand what a remark-

~--~g able process it is to under-

stand language.

Every day we speak and listen to other people, catching their understatements, reading their body language and gestures, interpreting their intentions and facial expressions, sharing an intimacy through words. But what is for.us a natural process,

“is for autistic people a baffling _maze of movernents and sounds. “Such word-intimacy is a threat to their autonomous world, “Donna Williams stunned mil- “’ lions of readers fast year with her :. book, Nobody Nowhere, in which she described her child- -hood world of autism and her struggle to break free from her ‘solipsistic universe. Somebody Somewhere is a sequel of sorts, -which tells of her efforts to over- “come her language-processing ~w. disabilities. 4 "Not only is Williams a woman “of remarkable courage, she is adept at writing with both humor “and sensitivity about the “mean- ‘ing-deafness” that characterizes her world.

autistic people, as | have, you will find this book illuminating. -Read how Williams describes her : autistic world before she broke freer Se wo “My world’ was a spiritual “= body. {thad been’my home, my_. self, my.life, my entire systern of... “making sense of that bastard .. “place called ‘the world.’ 1 had’ - felt.compelled to disown or «.’ reject any part of ‘my world’ . exposed or touched upon by ‘the _ world.’ This was my taw, a sort -.of decontamination procedure or @ safety valve for the maintenance of sanity within the confines of ‘an inescapable cage.”.-

In Williams’ autistic world, nothing was related to self, All, .- phases, facial expressions and.

“trappings of personality were»

- copied versions from other peo- * le‘or television: Sometimes the * .

copies were so convincing, the "outside world accepted them as ‘. . “real,” Williams calls this mirror- self an “involuntary, compulsive impressionist.” ; ~~“ In addition to the inability to ._. process meaning, autistic people ’. often are tortured by visual and auditory stimuli that normal peo- ple would not even notice. Bright lights, high-pitched ..’/ voices, intricately patterned or

Barbara Black BOOK REVIEW

textured objects are just a few of the things that could set Williams off in a trance or highly agitated state, She calls it “sensory hell.”

But mixed in with these per- ceptual glitches, is a very intelli- gent mind dwelling alongside a low functioning social being.

This high-low functioning combination makes it difficult for Williams to find a niche in the working world. After a string of boring short-term jobs Williams finally decides to appeal to her higher functioning side and pur- sue teacher training.

She begins teacher training .

_ knowing that she still does not fit

into. “the world” but she doesn’t yet know why. Then comes psy-

‘chologist Dr. Marek.

Convinced that she wants to access the “real” Donna, rather than remain a composite of mir- rored images, Williams embarks

- ona painful journey with Marek

to discover the deficits in her

ler W a _ ° social behavior and conquer her . Gif you have ever worked with

fears of intimacy.

She not only Jearns how to touch people she cares for (this is very difficult) she is also finally able to understand why people. want to have physical contact with each other. ;

Along with some very sympa-.

thetic landlords who nurture and -

challenger her, Williams discov- ers that there are a myriad of facial expressions to express an

equal myriad of emotions. a

Many of us know the sensa- tion of conversing in a language in which we are not fluent. We

hear how the other person‘s

word sounds, translate what we

think they said and then respond.

This is what conversation was .

like for Williams, except that

English is her first language. During the course of her therapy,

“however, she realizes: “Now |

am hearing people directly rnost

“of the tine, but unfortunately |

am often unable to get specific meaning out of what they say; |

‘am getting the key words and

imposing my own system of

_ Meaning on it...”

As Williams gets closer to her’ real self and experiences feelings

‘more directly, she comes to real-

ize that while it's more desirable to live in the real world, it cer- tainly hurts to be human and

CLOSEOUT

have emotions. When a supervisor helps her understand that the awful feeling

_ she is experiencing means she is

missing someone, she remarks to herself: “Unbelievable. (t was incredible how bad a good feel- ing can feel when you don’t know what it is called... | was / overjoyed at my humanness!”

As Williams doggedly pursues her teaching degree she scram- bles over every obstacle that pops up, sometimes just barely, recovering her dignity (or chances of passing), She still has many problems relating to her classmates and constantly strug: | gles with misunderstanding — others’ misunderstanding of her autism and her own misunder- standing of their behavior.

In the company of a fellow - autistic with whom she becomes quite intimate (by her standards), Williams finally feels what it’s like to be in her own body: “My hands went up to my face. My face was there from the inside. My body was more {han just a series of textures that my hands - knew, an image my eyes knew, a series of sounds my ears knew, and a pattern of movements. | cried out in a desperate whisper, ‘Oh my God, I’ve got a body.’ ”

Not only is the Book an inspir- ing tale of a determined woman, it allows us to reflect on our. innate abilities to process mean- ing, cope with sensory stimuli and function in the world as a distinct self.

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