if t ley cost me. nothing!

ELEVISION NEWS is mostly a matter of

nice teeth and hair. Announcers with warts and pimples are not welcome. But sometimes it has its uses, and the other night we tuned in to the Women’s Network (the CBC) to find that Ottawa was being besieged by a convention of tax-suppor-

ted harpies.

The annual gab-fest of the National Action Committee of the Status of Women was in progress, if you can call it that. Anyway, there they were, 400 strong, yelping their heads off with pleasure, which they were trying to dis- guise as indignation. They were Meeting in the Chateau Laurier Hotel, you sec, and had found some porn in the hotel smoke shop. Or what they said was porn.

You never did see such a fuss. The big-hatted ladies of Queen Victoria’s day had nothing on these babes. Cluck chuck chuck. But at least those sin hunters of the Mh century didn’t wrap their objections in jargon. Libber jargon. these days, it's usually impossible to decipher what they are going On about, but if you’ve seen Kiss Me, Kate, you'll under- stand that, like Kate, they hate men.

CAPTIVE MAN

This time, they were saying that they are not against croticism in which women are shown as the “respected equals’? of men, but that the **porn”’ they had smelled out in the smoke shop wasn’t up to snuff. 1 judge from that that matie-female wrestling or boxing matches would be O.K., but fecring by lamp- light is bad.

The highlight of their Or- tawa performance, suitably cnough, was the appearance of a captive man The manager of the hotel being away, wise fellow, some poor

devil of a junior executive was flushed out of his hidey- hole and made to parade at the bookstand. He seemed to be frightened to death, and would give only his name, rank and number, like a good prisoner-of-war should. He didn’t know nothin’, he said.

Now I don‘t want you to get me wrong. I have nothing against lunatics being allow- ed to run loose. If they were put into a home somcone would have to look after them. But why should my tax money go to pay for their conventions? Gab sessions and hurly-burlies like the onc under discussion here are not paid for by bake sales or needlework auctions. No, the moncy comes from your taxes via the Secretary of State’s office. Grants, in other words, which would be better spent trying to develop a better hamburger.

$50,000 SNOOP

My old buddy Sylvia Spr- ing of Media Watch was part of the Ottawa happening, for instance, and she’s the girl who got $50,000 last year just so she can snoop for signs af sexual stereotyping. Isn’t that stupid? What this country needs is more sexual stereo- typing, not less, it being so hard these days to distinguish men from women. -

The Secretary of State’s of- fice controls the biggest slush-and-bribery fund known to man, if I may put it that way without being arres- ted for being sexist. Last year, they got rid of over two billion bucks. On = mutlti- culturalism, on bilingualism, on human wrongs, on stu- dent loans, on Sylvia Spring. etc. You name it and they’ve thought of it. And they pro- bably paid for all those news- paper advertisements. you saw this week. You know: **There’s a lot going on for women in B.C.”’

Well, what 1 want to know is what's going on for men. Not much, it would seem. Not even a bit of porn in the smoke shop, if these folk get their way.

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5 - Friday, March 23, 1984 - North Shore News

Cap River search . officially ended

. THE SEARCH for a man reported’ to:have jumped: or * fallen from the Capilano Suspension Bridge- Saturday afternoon has bees officially ended according to the North Vancouver RCMP. Searchers from the police, district fire department and the North Shore’s emergency program combed the river Saturday, Sunday and Monday without

_ turning up.a trace of the man’s body.: The man, reported to be somewhere between 18 and 25 years. of age, was reported to have gone off the bridge just after 2 p.m. Saturday, touching off massive search efforts that includ-

ed kayakers, people searching from the banks of the river and divers.

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NORTH VAN- COUVER RCMP have joined the West Van- couver Police Depart- ment in proclaiming next week ‘‘Daylighters Live Longer’’ week.

Joint efforts of the depart- ments are aimed at encourag- ing motorists to drive with their headlights on during the day as well as the night.

West Vancouver traffic of- ficials announced plans to mark the week earlier and were joined by the North Vancouver detachment’s traffic division this week.

Police say that drivers who use their headlights during © daylight hours increase the visibility of their automobiles 4, and make other drivers more aware of their presence.

The combination of a trend to smaller cars and ¢x- tensive use of grey, brown and other natural colors has ted to some difficulty in sec- ing cars.

Experiments run in Scan- dinavian countries show that driving with headlights on during the day can reduce traffic accidents by as much as 20 per cent.

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