NIKITA KRUSCHEYV used to tell a story about 2 boozy and humiliating evening in Stalin's dacha near Moscow. Nikita was fat and ungainly, but Joe told him to do the

Russian kick-dance.

He did. ‘‘When Stalin said dance,”’ said Kruschev, ‘‘you danced.”’

it’s much the same in Ottawa. If you don’t believe that, read a blockbuster of a book called A Capital Scandal. '

Our MPs don’t kick their legs into the air but they clap, bark and vote on cue.

They do it for the same reasons that Kruschev danced. They want to stay in the privileged class. They are spineless and don’t want to be sent to the Gulag, which in Ottawa's case is where you don’t get the official bribes and goodies.

Your MPs love the trough and there are few troughs like the Ot- tawa trough. As the book says, “The excessive tuxury and perks have made them a class apart from the people they serve.”’

They have an exclusive medical service and are as far removed from the realities of Canadian life as the aristocrats were from those of 18th century France. To them, “recession” is just a word in the dictionary.

Will the tumbrels roll here? Let’s hope so.

King Brian runs a royal court which is more royal than that of King Pierre. He even has an of- ficial foodtaster when travelling. “Security,” you know.

He doesn’t pay for his own grocerics and ‘‘care packages’’ are or were sent at public expense from 24 Sussex Drive to Mila’s parents, the Piknikis. For picnics, no doubt.

There’s nothing like being able

Doug Collins

ON THE OTHER HAND

to write your own pay and pen- sion cheques. That’s how ordinary MPs whose sole function is to bark on command get $110,000 a year when a tax-free package of $45,000 is reckoned in.

Staff salaries and office ex- penses amount to another $165,000, nearly three times as much as they were a dozen years ago. This ‘‘tempts many MPs into questionable or criminal misuse of public money.’’

To keep that sum untrimmed they are refunded GST on office equipment and furniture. One law for them, another for you.

There are now 39 ministers (as against 22 in the 1950s), all of whom get $140,000, about $30,000 of which is tax free. They also get

Park zoning change considered

A PUBLIC hearing regarding a proposed North Vancouver District official community pian amendment to rezone district-owned land in the Lynn Canyon Park area has been set for Aug. 11.

After years of negotiations, the municipality recently pur- chased a lot located between

Mon-Sat. 9:30-6:00pm

Hurry, sale ends Sat. July 18/92! 742 Westview Shopping Centre, North Van.

two lots near Lynn Canyon. Park on Lynn Valley and Dempsey roads.

Council will consider a change in the zoning designa- tion of the three lots from single-family residential to parks, recreation and oper space.

986-1341

a $2,000 car allowance even though a car and driver are pro- vided. Plus mere perks than you can count.

AIL MPs get 64 free plane trips a year which can be used by their spouses, lovers, children and grandads, etc. And that’s to any- where in the country, not just to

* and from Ottawa.

The pension ripoff is well known but worth touching on here because it’s the biggest rob- bery since the Vandals looted Rome.

If Joe Clark quit tomorrow, he wouid get $62,000 a year which would be indexed for inflation when he’s 65. A grateful nation wouldn’t want the poor guy to suffer, you see. .

And here’s a bit I didn’t know. if an MP dies the spouse gets the pension. Which means the hus- band, of course, if the MP isa woman. (Marry Mary Collins,

- someone. It could be worth it.)

If 42-year-old Perrin Beatty were to quit now he would have scooped up $5.2 million by the time he’s 65.

Then there’s widespread double-dipping. Bud Cullen, a former immigration minister, is one of several politicians sent to the Federal Court. So his reward for helping to pack the country with Third Worlders is a total pay and pension package of $200,000.

Double-dipping is not confined to Tory and Liberal favorites. It’s spread around so as to keep the socialists quiet. That’s why Ed

Environmentally Feit and

\ e 3 tt teront mys Tre ogi Mav

Wednesday, July 15, 1992 - North Shore News - 9

Gov’t goes one way and the people the other

Broadbent has a pension of $45,000 plus a ‘*Mulroney- invented job” that brings him a salary of $138,000.

There is even tripladipping. fan Deans, another friend of the working man, gets pensions from the House of Commons and the Ontario legislature. Plus a fat sal- ary as chairman of the Public Service Staff Relations Board.

The pious socialist orator Stephen Lewis is another rich pensioner. But piety is forgotten when it comes to pushing up to the trough.

You will recall that Mulroney stuffed the Senate with extra seats so as to bulldoze the GST through. B:C.’s Pat Carney was one of the lucky ones and if she lives to be 75 her minimum reward for voting ‘‘yes’” will be $2.3 million, states the book.

Depending on an appointee’s age, elevation to the Patronage Palace, meaning the Senate, ‘‘can be worth up to $5 million in sala- ry and gold-plated pensions.”' And if we get more senators as a result of the constitution wrangle it will be more of the same.

Mulroney came to power holler- ing about the sins of patronage. But that’s Canadian politics for you. Say one thing, do another. And bugger the dumb peasants.

Now you know why government goes one way and the peopte the other. Who’s going to mak. the boss angry when the pay’s so good?

The decisions are not made in

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the House of Commons, of course. That's just a rubber stamp place because rank and file MPs have no say, being sheep. The decisions are made in Mulroney’s costly and massively staffed “White House.”

I hear, by the way, that the doctors in B.C. want more money. Tell them to run for Parliament. Their troubles would be over. :

A Capital Scandal costs $28.95. It wiil make you sick. But read it. er

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