Dear Miss Manners — In my family, we have had, for several generations, the custom of calling everyone by a pet name, For example, my great-grandfather was called Wozzy, although the name had no resemblance to any of his given names. The pet name is generally award- ed to a child in toddlerhood, by a sibling, a parent, or the chifd himself in an early at- tempt to say his name.

My problem is that my brothers insist on using my private, family pet name in social gatherings. I} have a fine given name, and even a perfectly good nickname, but they have called me Bumpo at fraternity parties, sport events, and, most recently, in front of my ma- jor professor, whom I am trying to impress for a scholarship application.

When asked how I got the name Bumpo, my elder brether said if refers to 2 private part of my anatomy, which (he said) is hardly more than a bump.

Miss Manners, I am des- perate to stop this un- dignified, juvenile practice. I would leave town rather

‘than be subject to my brothers’ crue? behavior one more time.

GENTLE READER — The follow-up to your brother’s explanation should have been your giving him a meaningful smile and saying, “I’s a family charac- teristic.”’

But that is not the solu- tion. Miss Manners regrets having lapsed from her poli- cy against retaliating in kind.

The solution is a rough family council, with all the offenders present and as many members of the elder generation as have developed sense and compassion. A

new family tradition must be

velvet,

PHONE FOR FREE ESTIMATE

28 - Sunday, May 26, 1985 - North Shore News

Pet names embarrassing

forcefully stated, against embarrassing one another before outsiders. While making the argument for family loyalty, take care to mention .some truly awful piece of information you know about each of the of- fenders but would never dream of telling anyone else. That is not a lapse; it is a simple negotiating tactic.

by Judith Martin

Dear Miss Manners — My .

husband and I have pur- chased a home in an area with a Jot of children. We de not have children, but have enjoyed the company of young people.

Several of the children in this neighborhood feel that our yard, and the yards of our neighbors, are their playground. They have destroyed plants, dug holes, entered a fenced back yard to play, ete.

At first, we tried explain- ing in a nice maner that we

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would prefer that they played in their own yards. Then we tried the stern ap- proach. Finally, I went to each parent in the neighborhood with my re- quest, even those whose chilren were not causing the problem, so as not to make the guilty parties feel singled out. I was pleasant, polite and tried not to hurt anyone's feelings.

The results were to be ex- pected. The parents who maintain control of their offspring assured me that they would continue to do so, and the parents of the offending children main- tained that their children were not al fault, and in fact would never do such terrible

. things.

My husband and | have bees labeled child haters, and some people refuse to speak to us. This does not bother us, as these people are not important to us.

But the problem con- tinues. 1 am waiting for an

‘ice ball or baseball to come

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GENTLE READER — Miss Manners sympathizes with you in everything ex- cept your declaration that your neighbors are not im- portant to you. You are developing a bunker men- tality, ‘and Miss Manners wants you [to stop.

Put up a fence. As soon as ;

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