~ Child in time The emotional scars of abused children often have greatest impact on their lives

PICTURE A child, a very quiet child,-a child covered

with bruises. He seems lost. |

His eyes depict hurt.

What has- happened?- What's wrong? -Did he just fali down? Maybe he just hurt himself play- ing a game. Has he just been punished? Is he simply one of “those children who can’t behave?

People tend to justify a situa- tion, refusing to look at the dark side of zeality. People often see only what they want to see. Child abuse . people tend to ignore or cverlock.

Abused children are not going to go .up to someone and ask for help. They. have become frighten- _ed of adults. They have also become intimidated, and therefore are afraid to tell their story.

Often the bruises aren’i that obvious. Often they are hidden by clothing, only to be noticed by a docter or the babysitter. With 4 child: who has been sexually or physically abused, often the greatest bruises are the emotional ones. .

,Children are too weak to defend

is something that many

themselves against abuse. They -.

cannot” speak. for. because they wouldn’t know what to say or how to.say it. If they are able to say what they want to say, no one listens.

. If:anyone listens, their story. is ‘probabiy passed off as being un- true or none of their business. The child is not only rejected by the

abuser but by everyone else they

: approach. Who can they turn to?

+ T the ‘abuser: is’ ‘outside of the immediate family; would the child turn to his parents? Probably not. He’d be too ‘scared and too ashamed to actually admit what is happening.

If the abuser is one of the child’ 's parents, would she turn to “someone outside the family? If the people to whom she feels closest to hurt her, how could she trust a stranger?

One: of the closest: people to very young children, after the parenis, is usually. a teacher. Teachers can help, especially if they-pay attention to little signs

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themselves-

‘are changing. Specific legislative .

‘any kind of physical

that children exhibit as a resuit of being abused.

For example, their interests may change all of a sudden. They may star? drawing pictures that remind them of what happened during the abuse. They may want to be alone

all of the time, away from everyone else, their games and their. fun,

Children may frequently be ticed. They may appear fearful of authority. They may move away suddenly if touched, refuse to participate in gym for no valid reason in an attempt to conceal their injuries.

Sexually and physically abused children feel that anytime there is contact, _whether it be parents or anyone else, it means that they are going to get hurt.

‘In the past, legislators and judges have failed to protect abused children. Things, however,

measures to deal with child abuse have been instituted in all pro- vinces except New Brunswick and Prince Edward Island.

Here’s what the Child Welfare Act of Ontario says about report- ing child abuse: Section 41, Part i: Every person having informa- tion of the abandonment, des- ertion, physical ill-treatment or need for protection of a child shall report the information to a children’s aid society or a Crown attorney.

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Section 41, Part 2: Subsection I applies notwithstanding that the information is confidential or privileged, and no action shall be instituted against the informant unless the givixg of the informa- tion is done.. maliciously or without reasonable and probabie cause,

Many children will bury the in- cidents of abuse in their minds forever. Many are plagued years and years later by these childhood experiences. Something like this is

. difficult to deal with when it hap-

pens and is even harder to forget. .

Bruises and scars may disap- pear, but the thoughts and nightmares never go away. These incidents of abuse will affect a child’s .behavior and whole outlook on life.

The other night I was at a friend's house and her mom started yelling at her as soon as we walked to the door. A few minutes later it turned into more

of a fist fight than a mother--

daughter talk and another girl and I were asked to leave.

We waited- outside for a little

while and after hearing a lot of screaming, we: decided to knock on the door to make sure our friend was all right.

After her mother had called her every single name in the book; she calmed down and allowed us to

“come back ins: At that moment 1

thought my friend was never go- ing to come out of shock.

She was. shaking and screaming. She was crying. for more than an hour, saying the same thing over

‘and over again: “My mom has

never hit me before. My mom has never called me a ... before. I just want to die.”

We have ail been embarrassed by our parents in front of our friends and tried to act cool to make it seem. like we don’t care, but in reality we do care. Most of the time it is the words that. burt the most. ©

If your own mother calls you a derogatory term, you don’t know what to think about yourself. Most parents ‘don’: reaiize how

" See Child page 34

MANY OF you got presents under the Christmas tree this morning. If you

could ask for one

Friday, December 25, 1992 - North Shore News ~ 33

Christmas wish, what would it be?

Last week we asked you if you think condom machines should be installed in ‘North Shore schools.

Hi, I'm 17 and yes, i do think condom machines should be installed because kids are going to have sex anyway, whether or not condom macitines are in- Stalled in schools. Sz ix they’re going to have sex wouldn’t people rather have safe sex than unprotected sex? You've only got one chance, like Rus- Sian roulette. It is your life. 1 think condom machines should definitely be put in the schools.

I think condom machines should be installed in schools. I don’t think that it'll encourage kids to have sex. I think it’s their Zsiends, peer pressure and boyfriends who encourage thera to have sex, I don’t think that condom machines have anything to do with it. What it would do is to help those whe have been encouraged to have sex, to have safe sex.

I think that schools should have condom machines.

i think having condom machines instatied will not be Uke encouraging kids to have

condoms from a store. But if they can get-them ai the school or a place where they feel com- fortable, then FE really think that they'll really start to use them. I’m not saying that teens should have sex young, I’m just saying that it’s time that we took some action on this and try to stop AIDS and preguacies. .

I’m currently sexually active and my girlfriend got pregnant because we didn't use a con- — dom. My school doesn't have them. I think we should have them in our schools; it’s a lot better. I don’t think it pro- motes sex just because you've got a condem machine. I just think if you're smart about it you'll be fine.

I think if kids are geing to have sex, they’re going to have sex. And it doesn‘t really mat-. ter if there are condoms there or not but I think kids would be inclined to use them more and help combat the AIDS problem. Just because there is a condom machine there wouldn't encourage me to have

sex because STDs are out there _ ¥

and it would be more protected for them. J think it’s a load of bull if teachers and older peo- ple are saying that it'll en- courage people to have sex. STDs can ‘affect your life, totally.

Pregnancy and STDs are still on an uprise and obviously we need some kind of protection. Lots of kids aren’? responsible enough to go out and buy

Photo caption. clarification

A PHOTOGRAPH in the Zap! Youth News section of the Friday, Dec. 18, North Shore News depic- ting two teenagers carried a cap- tion that described the medical dangers facing today’s sexually active teenagers.

The caption was meant as a general statement. It was not meant to reflect on the sexual ac- uvity of the teenagers depicted.

The Zap! photo was taken along with a number of general shots by Sutherland secondary

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students for Zap’s Youth Views column. The pair in the photo were ‘not told specifically. that their photograph would illustrate the Dec. 18 Zapi. article on teenagers’ concerns about sexual activity.

The North Shore News regrets any misunderstanding caused by the caption and any embarrass- ment suffered by the teenagers or their families as a result of the photograph. ‘

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