4 — Friday, April 24, 1982 - North Shore News_

We three macho men

BOB HUNTER says I'ma macho guy.

Hey, you should see me. My chest is puffed out to here.

It’s so far out it takes 10 minutes to waik around me.

If you know me, you might say: “Well, it used to take 10 minutes to walk around your stomach.”’

Repeat that and make my day, pardner. I'm a macho guy. Bob Hunter says so.

And none of that sissy ‘‘stom- ach’’ stuff. (Or embonpoint, as the French say, and as I used to quote them — before Bob Hunter described me as macho.)

I don’t call it ‘‘stomach”’ any more. I call it guts.

And I’ve got guts. I’m macho.

Would my fellow North Shore News columnist lie to you? My distinguished, award-winning (a Governor General’s is the latest), visionary and super-perceptive friend Bob Hunter lie to you?

Well, maybe this once.

When Robert (as 1 call him) bracketed me with Doug Collins and himself as ‘‘macho guys,’’ |

OK, my first reaction was to picture a North Shore News pro- motional ad campaign, showing the three of us looking so tough that Sylvester Stallone in com- parison would seem like the 98- pound weakling who got sand kicked in his face in the oid Charles Atlas body-building ads.

Overhead, the line: ‘‘The Three Macho Men of the North Shore News.””

However, this would ouly invite some surly reader to deface the operative words with his big crayon and write in: ‘The Three Stooges of ...””

My second reaction was to roll around the ground and laugh quite a bit.

Me? T.L.? Macho? The guy in the accompanying picture who is sniffing a rose?

Now, macho — that’s Bo! Hunter. .

Here is a guy who, as a foun- ding father (or should that be a politically correct ‘founding per- son?’’) of Greenpeace, confronted whaling ships on the high seas — a stunning act of principled courage.

He scared them whalers. They

Trevor Lautens

GARDEN OF BIASES

turned white at the sight of him. (Don’t ask me what color the, ah, non-white whalers turned. I can only achieve political correctness once per column.)

And Collins?

You want macho? Readers, Collins is all too modest. At age 19 he was a platoon sergeant in the front lines, with the French behind him and the Germans in front of him, lobbing shells at each other overhead.

He was captured at Dieppe. Spent years in prisoner-of-war camps. Spent years escaping from them too — so often I can’t remember, nine or 10 escapes.

At age 19! And what, dear parent, is your 19-year-old up to these days?

1 know that at 19, I too was in Europe — carrying a rucksack, tramping through the countryside, not washing for six weeks at a time, and sleeping in filthy French rooms that cost as little at $1.75 a night.

(Come to think of it, I might have been in as much mortal danger as Doug at that.)

Pve often thought that if teaders today think that Com- mando Dougp’s ianguage and tough prose go, as the current cliche has it, over the top, they might stop and reflect that our dreadful *‘problems’’ and awful “‘social injustice’ and ‘‘unaccep- table’’ this and that — these things aren’t likely to be dig grievances in the eyes of a man

who went through Dovz’s experi- ences while still a teenager.

(Still, 1 strongly disc gree with him about some issues concerning Jews, and, whatever he writes about immigration, would love to find out that he secretly sneaks out and gobbles up ethnic food when no ore’s looking.)

I should add that Bob Hunter made his comment in one of a couple of columns about the so- called men’s movement ~— one of which lucidly explained the ideas in Robert Bly’s best-selling book, fron John.

I was very grateful that Bob did that. The fact that I have never written about this ‘‘movement’’ says something about my attitude toward it.

But I did feel some gnawing guilt that I had never so much as read Bly’s book. And, nudged by Bob’s columns on the subject, this week I broke down and reluctant- ly bought the book.

And that is why I praise Bob’s lucidity. At a quick glance, I found the book paralyzingly dull. Bob’s exegesis of it, in a few hundred clear words, was much better.

Now, getting back to the theme, would a macho guy use a word like ‘‘exegesis?”’

Bob Hunter rode the high seas for Grinpiss — ah, Greenpeace. 1 once got seasick in a boathouse on English Bay. (And on the Queen Mary.)

Doug Collins proved his mettle under lethal fire. I can’t even stand the level of explosion created by my children.

Yet Bob Hunter brackets me with macho guys like Collins and himself.

it was in the April 8 issue of the North Shore News. You could look it up, if you missed it. Me — i'm going to frame it.

Regrettably, in my April 17 column on the Christian faith, the published version reads: ‘But it was never troubled by its errors and failures.’’ What 1 wrote was: “But it was never untroubled ...”" Sorry.

Our organization is pleased to be making a presentation to the B.C. Housing Management Commission to bring an Affordable Housing Project to your community.

IF YOU NEED AFFORDABLE HOUSING

8:00 A.M. -

CALL NOW 857-2008

CALL COLLECT |

4:00 P.M. (Monday to Friday)

it is important that we prove the need in our community for housing.

SO PLEASE CALL NOW.

Hundreds sign up for quit smoking contest

THE FINAL count for smok- ers participating in the North Shore's Quit to Win non- smoking contest is 447.

The contest, sponsored by North Shore Health and Heart Smart North Shore, required participants to quit smoking by April 1¢. Entrants must remain smoke-free until the contest’s draw on May 31.

Contest prizes include a trip for two to Hong Kong, fitness program memberships, lunches, dinners and gift certificates.

The North Shore News’ Robyn Brown is one of the 447 fledgling former smokers tak- ing part in the contest. Brown is chronicling her non-smoking experiences in a series of col- umas in the News. Her next instalment will be printed in Sunday’s edition.

According to statistics pro- vided by North Shore Health, the average smoker makes up to seven attempis to stop smoking before quitting per- manently.

=> The Seymour River

Fish Hatchery

invites you tc our

SPRING OPEN HOUSE Sunday April 26 *92

* Salmon Barbecue

* Free shuttle bus service from Rice Lake

Parking lot * Guided Tours

Come and see salmon, cutthroat trout and

steelhead.

Drive up Lillooet Road past Capilano College into the Seymour Demonstration Forest to -

Rice Lake Gate.

From there we take over

with a free shuttle bus.

service from 10 am

B until 4 pm.

Business Management Diploma Programs

Ae

Wednesday, April 29 at 7 p.m.

EH Building, Room 501

It’s time to plan ahead — our two-year full-time Business Management diploma programs start in September. Begin your career planning now. Attend this information meeting and find out more about how you can become job ready for tomorrow’s marketplace.

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* Business Computing Co-op

® International Business (8 months) —

Information will also be available on our accelerated 10-month diploma programs appficable to several of the above areas of study, starting in July, 1992. Learn more about our ’ new B. Admin. degree available at Capilano through the B.C. Open University.

SE

CAPILAN COLLEGE

Applications for enrolment in these programs are now being accepted.

Call Business Management at 984-4960 and let us know that you are coming to the meeting.

2055 Purcell Way * North Vancouver ° B.C.