ete sa, : a Graphic Cameron Bird “KMOCK DOWN them bridges, and to hell with.'em,”’ barked an

: ‘elderly gentieman.|-encountered one sunny day on the seawall. “Nothin’-but drug pushers, criminals, and welfare cheats over 2 there!’ ° ;

‘Top 10 reasons not to go overtown

1) THE WORLD really is flat and 5) You might run into Murray

disappears precisely at the south Pezim.. .

ends of the Second Narrows and “6) Your mother doesn’t want you

Lions Gate bridges. to. i 7) The B.C. Lions play there.

8) Nardwuar The Human Serviette

fives in’ West Vancouver.

9) All the wildlife is in the Stanley

Park Zoo.

10) It is inhabited with people

from Vancouver. ,

2) Terry © David -.Muiligan might “accost you on live TV. ;

3) Mike Harcourt lives there.

4) Six ‘points.on your driver’s licence for. every bike courier you hit. woe :

PLUS MORE!

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12 exposures 3° / 2 sets

24 exposures G® / 2 sets 36 exposures 40" / 2 seis

1 Hour Service is $2:00 extra. 135 mm or 110mm colour print tim only. You will receive 2 sets of 4"x6" glossy prints for the very fow prices shown above.

Sunday, November 1

A good number of locals suffer from the fearful affliction of “Overtownitis’

Vancouver is just like granola; once you take away the fruits and nuts, all you have are the flakes. -An anonymous North Shore resi- dent.

By A.P. McCredie News Reporter

THE NORTH Shore is 750 metres from Vancouver at their closest point (Burns Point to Barnet Marine Park).

In other ways, however, the two areas might as well be 234,000,000 Metres apart — the distance West Vancouver is from the moon.

I have lived more than 750 metres from Vancouver for less than a year.

In that. time { have come in contact with a good number of locals: who suffer from a fearful affliction known: to some as Overtownitis.

Or, the fear of leaving the North Shore for the wilds of downtown Vancouver, Or for that matter, downtown anywhere.

In recatling weekend activities to born and bred North Shore resi- dents, a nervous facial tic in- evitably crawls across their creaseless faces when I mention that { visited friends in Van- couver.

While covering a tax-revolt story earlier this year, I crossed paths with an elderly woman who claimed, quite proudly, that she

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30-50 cards 50 cards or more

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4&4 I crossed paths with an elderly woman who claimed, quite proudly, that she had not set foot in Vancouver proper for 15 years. 99

had not set foot in Vancouver proper for 15 years.

‘“No reason to ‘go there,’’ she clucked, stirring her boiling water. “Although I do miss shopping at

Woodward's. By the way, when

are they going to finish cleaning

the big W? I miss it.””

But Overtownitis is a most in- discriminate mistress, tormenting both young and old, rich and poor.

A 24-year-old friend 1 spoke with recently told me_ that everything she needed was on the North Shore.

“*Besides,’’ she drawled, ‘‘last time I was at a club over there (said with all the inflection of a four-letter word), 1 didn’t see one person I knew. Gross, eh?””

Deep Cove is also 384,000,000 metres from the moon.

Seemingly strong-of-mind- and-body individuals turn into ‘slavering, wild-eyed lunatics at the mere mention of ‘going Over- town,’’.

Hone Chk be ny ete fs

They glimpse the world through Shore-colored glasses, viewing the yawning expanse of the Lower Mainland as merely a_ nice backdrop to their living-room- window view.

An admittedly sadistic game I have enjoyed since residing here has been to drive unknowing North Shore friends along the Lion Gate Bridge entrance lanes on Marine Drive, only to veer into the through lane just before the point of no return. co

The look of sheer terror, and sight of sheer sweat, is priceless.

Many hide their symptoms with preposterously . well-maintained claims: ‘‘Those bridges -aren’t safe’; “I'll get robbed’; “What if 1 run into Jean Claude Van Damme?’’ .

Likewise, facts pointing toa diminishing quality of life on the North Shore (ie. waiting more than five minutes for a public ten-

See First page 45