ae North Vancouver educator

a

a Whatever. “custom, :it must be stopped im-. mediately. Miss

36 - Sunday. f December 8, 1991 - North Shore News

’ LIFESTYLES

Goodbyes should be simple

wucatin Martin

DEAR MISS MANNERS — FI was wondering what is the proper way to = say goodbye.

Someiimes I feel compeiled to

say something witty or pithy, dut I feel very awkward saying it. I am always afraid that I will not come off as enthusiastic about a host’s party or gathering if 1 do not say something amazing, but somehow it never works. ' GENTLE READER — Of course it doesn’t work. After a long day preparing to entertain you, and a full evening doing so, however delightful it may have been, hosts do not want to be amazed.

They want to be thanked, after which they want to be allowed to do the dishes and/or go to bed. But they are frozen at the doorstep while you try to top off the. evening with some piece of tepartee that everybody is too tired to appreciate.

Originality is not everything.

/ The words hosts most want to

hear when the evening is over are “Thank you — I had a wonderful time’’ and.*‘Goodbye.””

DEAR MiSS MANNERS — Is

it proper for the bride (to receive a

‘prize for each game played at her _ Shower, regardless of whether she ‘ won the game?

My daughter is giving a pre-

-' wedding shower for ner friend and

was. told (in a nice way} that this .was the ‘expected procedure. I’ve “never heard of such 2 custom, but ‘another young friend and my ex- Perienced sister-in-law have. GENTLE READER — .the origin . of the

Manners can ‘hardly think of a worse prepara- tion ‘for marriage than to aliow the: bride to believe that she

. io NOATH. VANCOUVER educator Bill Brown.

THE EDUCATION . community ©

‘on. the North Shore will be sad-

dened to learn of the sudden pass- ©

ing of Mr. W.E. (Bill) Brown on Nov. 24, 1991.

‘Mr. Brown was born in Regina, Sask.,. in’ 1907 and began his teaching career in northern Saskatchewan in 1929. He held several teaching posts in the areca of Saskatchewan and it was dur- ing his time there that he met and married his wife Miriam.

His professional career was in- terupted by service in the Royal Canadian Air Force from 1941 to 1945,

Mr. Brown returned to teaching in 1945 when he became a teacher and administrator in Grand Forks, B.C. The family moved to the coast in 1956 where Mr. Brown was appointed principal of Hollyburn Elementary school.

That position fasted for three years until 1959 when Mr. Brown joined the North Vancouver

MISS MANNERS should always win, regardless of whether this is fair.

DEAR MiSS MANNERS. —. My mother-in-law and 2 get along superbly, and FI think the world of her, Sut she has a habit of bring- ing up my husband's (her son’s) past relationships with girlfriends, going into explicit detail, describ- ing his preferences in women and how the women in his past pur- sued him. ;

She hasn't done this just once

or twice, which [ could live with,.

but many more times than I could count. It's only when there’s an audience — parties, picnics, fami-

. Jy get-togethers. Everyone looks at

me, 4s if waiting for a reaction, but I only sit and listen, as it woulda’t be polite to do other-

“wise.

My husband is never the in- stigator of these conversations, so I- don’t blame him for them. If you suggest he say. something to her — he has, and it doesn't stop her. My in-laws are extremely ag- gressive, and they say anc do

‘wkafever they want, regardless of

School District. Mr. Brown held two “ad

ministrative posts in North Van--

couver from 1959 to 1962. He was vice-principal of Balmoral Junior Secondary school and in 1962 he was appointed the first principal of Handsworth Secondary school,

a position he held until 1967. : In that. year he moved to the '

North Vancouver School Board office to become a supervisor of instruction. _

In his early years, Mr. Brown

“was an avid sportsman and en-

joyed baseball, hockey ‘and curl- ing. This interest lasted

.

‘and Peter Gorrell, dren, Kimberly and Blair as well ©

the situation,

1 realize that everyone has a past. I, too, have an interesting one, but my mother has never mentiened details and probably never will, as she wouldn’t want my husband to be uncomfortable. I can’t help but wonder how my mother-in-law might feel if seme- one’s mother did this to her own daughter.

Am I wrong to be disturbed? I pride myself on knowing my place and being mindful of ethers’ feel- ings, and I wouldn’t want to do anything to ruin our relationship. I chalk it up to ignorance, but how do I handle it?

GENTLE READER — Miss Manners is not so sure she chalks this up to ignorance, especially since appeals from the gentleman in question have been ignored by his own mother. But she doesn’t want to spoil your generous at- titude by speculating about how it could be characterized.

Let’s just put a stop to it. We: can’t have you being subjected to this provocation forever — nor the hapless witnesses, for that matter. them mesmerized by the promise of a denouement that never ar- rives, It is-sure to interfere with their digestion.

For the sake of respect, your mother-in-law should be treated as

if she were joking. Since your.

husband is sympathetic, he would be the ideal person to administer this treatment. He could say, for example: “Oh, Mom, I hate to tell you this, but 1 made up all those romances so you wouldn't think I was unpopular. The truth is, | never looked at a girl before Diana."" Or ‘Mother, when [ stole Diana from convent school, I took an oath to preserve her in- nocence.”’

passes away

_ throughout his: life. Community

activities took Mr. Brown into Gyro Club participation as did his membership in Phil Delta Kappa, an education fraternity.

After retirement, Mr. and Mrs. ~

Brown were able'to enjoy an ex- tensive travel program from. which they took great satisfaction. Mr, Brown was totally devoted to his family and will be. sadly missed by his wife Miriam, his daughter and son-in-law: Shirley his ‘grandchil-

as his many friends and col- leagues.

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