8 - Friday, September 6, 1985 - North Shore News

Actor takes movie seriously

WHEN YOU ARE so old that you don’t care whether your pants are on back to front, you don’t like lining up to see a movie.

So I didn’t see Rambo un- til the other night, when the theatre was nearly empty. Which had the advantage that I didn’t get popcorn sprayed all over me.

After he has wiped out the sinister slants, for instance, an otherwise tongue-bridled Sylvester Stallone makes a little speech in which he says he would like some respect for the guys who fought be- fore. But for the most part it’s a great piece of good-guy bad-guy stuff.

Nothing is beyond Ram- bo. Tortured something awful by his captors, he agrees (it’s a trick, of course) to send a radio message to the bad-guy military bureaucrat who has sold him out. Contact made, he is asked what the message is. “The message it that I’m comin’ to git you. Murray,’’ he says. Whereupon he slaughters half his guards

and makes off into the jungle with his beautiful Viet girl friend, whose make-up ‘never falters.

The movie is so slap-stick that at one point ! thought the Nazis had been resur- ‘rected. There were these big ‘bad white Commando types working with the sinister slants, you see, and speaking

_ the ‘stereotypical. ‘Ve haf vays to make you talk!” Not _ only that, they’ re blond into the bargain.» But. they’re

Doug Collins as |

Rambo has

produced more ink ‘and more . money — than any other movie of recent times. And everybody except me has already written. about it, in: cluding the libber broad on’ | ‘the. Morning Wimp =. who. wears, those plate-sized ; glasses. :

Miss Glasses allowed as

. how Rambo “takes: our

’ faverite movie cliches and: moves them into a. gothic, © archetypal level.’? Well, that’s too deep for‘the likes of me, but I gathered that she had come to bury Ram-— bo, not to praise him. Ram- : bo, she noted disapprovingly. (E'think), ‘tells us that war is’ hell but-that' losing i is. worse,

- that Communism is bad and. the American way good. — “ What's‘ wrong with that?; It makes. a change from all‘ those movies in which the. U.S. plays the bad. guy. It also makes a change from all: the defeatist bilge served-u by the draft-dodging colleg boy generation that-did ‘fe the U.S. in the Sixties: and Seventies. what the French

Russians, not Germans. care of

. Rambo takes.

them. You bet. Just like that he can reach up an arm from the river, grab an enemy *copter that’s floating-on the surface, wipe out the crew, and make off into the blue, pectorals and biceps glisten- ing like gold.

But wait. Disappointment looms. In real life, Rambo Stallone has been doing the

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talkshow circuit, taking his movie seriously, just like Miss Glasses, and talking about the bad deal the Viet vets had. He almost sounded like a vet himself, wrote col- umnist Mike Royko of the Chicago Sun-Times.

Alas! Royko found out that Stallone, who was born in 1946 and would have been

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just the right stuff for Viet Nam, sought the embrace of higher education in the Swiss Alps at that crucial moment, giving phys-ed lessous to American girls. Or, as Royko so deliciously put it, he was ‘‘teaching rich girls how to touch their toes.’ Later, he improved his tan in Miami.

All this is a bit like being told that Charlie Chaplin was a prohibitionist parson in his spare time. But that’s not going to prevent me from re-naming’ Mike, my rambunctious Boxer dog. From now on, he’s Rambo. Unlike Stallone, though, he's more than just a pretty face.

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