44 - Wednesday, May 23. 1090 -

North shore News

Wife has right

to say

‘nol’

Q. MY HUSBAND has a certain oral sexual demand that [ definitely don’t want to do, 1 have cooperated with him up

to a point,

but I find it very uncomfortable, even painful.

The thought of it makes me nauseous.

He does not understand that I have a right to deny him this sex- ual desire. He says I'm uptight and if TL loved him, I'd allow him to do it. L don't know what to do. How can [handle this problem?

If vou find it disagreeable, you have the right .o say so. No name-calling on his part is going to help. You need to discuss it. If he still insists on it, there may be other problems in that relation- ship.

You are willing to go part of the way. He must be willing to go the other part. If he isn’t, something else is wrong.

Dr. Ruth Dr. Ruth Westheimer a ee ee

Q. Is there an average age when a female is able to have an orgasm? I'm 19 and have had a steady boyfriend for over a year and a half and am unable to climax. This is an incredibly im- portant and sensitive topic to me.

My boyfriend feels hurt. § feel helpless and sad. Is this a mentat or physical problem of mine? Or does it have to do with my age? Am FE too young to climax?

A. Nobody is too young. First, try to bring yourself to orgasm. Then you will know how to teach

him to stimulate you. Of course, it is very important to both of you that you find sex pleasurable and have orgasms. But don't worry about it. You're only 19.

And don't make him upset about it. He is teeling inadequate for ny good reason. So are you. Enjoy the time you have together and put less pressure on yourself and him.

Q. EU had a 15-year-Jong sexual relationship with my brother-in- law. He is seven years younger than me. Now he is 49 and [ am 56. Five years ago he broke off the relationship. His reason was my age. He said he thought women over 50 were “over all that,” meaning not interested in sex anymore.

When [ tel! him 1 am climbing the walls with desire for him and grieving overs the loss of our sexual relationship, he pitts me off. Is if really my age? And is he right that women my age should be finished with sex?

A. Not true. People can be sex- ually interested and active until 99 if they are in good health. Maybe his wife found out about your af- fair and told him if he didn’t stop, he would be in the street. Or maybe he is having an affair with someone else.

Perhaps the issue of age is his problem, not yours. Maybe he can’t satisfy more than one woman at the same time anymore. And it could be that he felt guifty about cheating and doesn’t want to do that anymore.

Q. Is it true that premature ejaculation can be cured or at least helped? Please let me know where I can get help in overcoming my problem.

A. Yes, premature ejaculation can be easily cured. It is a learning disability, not a deep-seated psychological problem. Thanks to Dr. William Masters and Virginia Johnson and Helen Singer Kaplan, we do have a method for dealing with premature ejaculation.

If you can see a sex therapist, that would be good.

Port Day events planned

From page 43 “reasonable weather,"’ Port Day °90 is expected to set another at- tendance record this year, topping the 12,000 mark.

Among the star attractions of the Port Day’s North Shore events, which will be taking place at the Waterfront Park and the Pacific Marine Training Institue (PMT), are free 45-minute harbor cruises. These cruises are by ticket only and are on a first come, first serv- ed basis.

Other North Shore exhibits and events include minature rail demonstrations in the B.C. Rail building, radio-controlled model ships in the PMTI's_ reflecting pool, a B.C. Transit/Seabus open

house, land-sea rescue demonstra- tions and a dangerous goods spill demonstration.

Some of the North Shore based groups taking part in Port Day ‘90 include Seaspan International Lid, and North Shore Rescue.

Other than the North Shore, Port Day °90 events will also take place on the South Shore at the Main Street Dock, located at the north foot of the Main Street overpass and at Westshore Termi- nals at Delta’s Roberts Bank.

The offical hours of Port Day "90 are from TO a.m. and 4 p.m. Because parking facilities are limited, it is suggested the public use B.C. Transit buses to get to the Lonsdale Quay transit station.

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