48 — Wednesday. September 19, 1990 - North Shore News

I truly believe he is running from woman to woman (to prove his manhood. And FI don’t believe he has good sex with this woman either.

if he can't have it with me because of medication, how could he have it with her? I can’t take his request for a divorce seriously. Bet I think ! should do some- thing. Do we need a marriage counselfor?

A. Your speculations on whether or not he can have good sex with another woman aren’t much help here. Maybe he is “running from woman to woman to prove his manhood.’’

On the other hand, maybe he is having a good scxua! relationship with her. He has asked you for a divorce, which is a serious re-

LIFESTYLES see counsellor before lawyer

Q. 1 AM 50 and my husband is 54. I thought things were going well in my marriage. We haven't had a very good sex life in the past year, but I blamed that on medication he’s taking for hypertension. Suddenly he says he is seeing another woman and wants a divorce.

quest, I don’t see huw you are helping yourself, or your mar- siage, by not taking it’ seriously. You may have to fight to save your marriage.

Yes, you must find a marriage counsellor. Tell him vou wilt not consent to a divorce unless he first goes through counselling with you. Be prepared to learn what he is gettting, or wants to get, sexual- ly from another woman, because your analysis of his sexual prowess may be wrong.

Q. lam a white woman, ape 35, and | am only interested in dating black men. Until three years ago, I dated white men. With white men, I never had an orgasm in bed, though J could have them through masturbation.

Ido think black men are better

N. Shore organizations receive TRY funds

TWO NORTH Vancouver organizations have received fund- ing under the provincial govern- ment TRY program. North Van- couver-Seymour MLA Jack Davis and Labour and Consumer Ser- vices Minister Norman Jacobsen announced a total of $6,300 has been allocated to the Lynn Valley Community Association and to the North Shore District Counter Attack Commitice.

The TRY program, short for The Responsibility is Yours, sup- ports programs which deal with substance abuse prevention, research, and treatment.

The Lynn Valley Community Association received $4,500 toward sponsoring a_ series of alcoho! and drug education workshops aimed at youth and families. The workshops address issues involving substance abuse which include low © self-esicem, Stress, and peer pressure.

A portion of the funding will also. go toward establishing a neighborhood-based = family and

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The North Shore District Counter Attack Committee received $1,800 toward substance-free graduation celebra- tions held this past spring.

“ft is encouraging to see substance-free celebrations becom- ing the rule rather than the excep- tion all over the province,” Jacobsen said. “Many students are now fcHowing the model of previous graduating classes and are initiating their own substance-free event. In turn, they become positive role-models for younger students. This is exactly what the TRY program is all about.”

A toll-free information and referral number is available for people with drug and alcohol problems or questions. For details, call TRYLINE — 1-800- 663-1441.

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lovers, but that isn’t the whole story. I just feet more comfortable with black men. My friends think this is a little sick.

They say I can have an orgasm with a white man too. Maybe I

can, but § don’t want to. Do sou think | have a problem?

A. | can’t answer that. You necd to talk to a therapist: who can ask you many questions 10 help you examine the reasons behind your preference. Maybe you feel that black men treat you better than the white men you have dated.

If the preference is based entire- ly on sexual experiences, | agree with your friends who say you can have an orgasm with a white man too. It is a myth that black men have bigger pcnises or stronger sex drives than white men.

Because one black man, or even several, have been good lovers does not mean all black men are better lovers than white men.

Fortunately, today we can date outside our racial or ethnic groups without so much condemnation as once existed, But you are limiting yourself. And I would be curious to find out why.

Q. Lam a 24-year-old man.Two

months ago my girl and IT broke up after a two-year celationship. She is already sleeping with another guy. } haven't been able to perform sexually with another woman since the break.

Is there something wrong with her that she can bounce back so fast? Or is it abnormal for a man to have sexual dysfunction prob- fems following a breakup? I feel like there must be something wrong with me, especially since she is doing fine.

A. Many men have sexual dysfunction problems following a breakup. Never mind what she is doing. You need time before you can be sexual again. There is nothing wrong with that. So give yourself the time.

You say you miss her and feel sad. You are probably thinking about her when you try to make love to another woman. When those sad feelings occur, you lose your erection. There is nothing abnormal about that.

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