20 - Wednesday, November 22, 1989 ~ North Shore News

Substance abuse ||

affects the entire family

LAURIE CARRIED the phone number in her purse for five years before she actually dialled the number for help.

By ELIZABETH COLLINGS News Reporter

After a lifetinie of being a cu- dependent with an alcohoiic father and Jater an alcoholic husband, Laurie says she was so desperate she didn’t even get inside the counsellor’s office before blurting out her troubles.

Since then Laurie’s life has made an about-face. She says she sees her situation with a clarity never felt before and has discovered a “new set of rights.”

“Now I look back on it, it was more like a dream world, a fan- tasy. We (her husband) really had no communication. He did what he had to do and I had the feeling that something was missing.

“It was sort of like going through a foggy room for all those years without any direction,”

Laurie says. Often called the disease of denial, the actual term = co-

dependency doesn’t aptly convey the devastating effect a substance abuser can have on his or her fam- ily.

Laurie describes co-dependency as a mobile where all the pieces constantly realign themseives with the centre. Co-dependents virtually surrender their ability to decide and act independently of the cen- trepiece in their life, the a::oholic.

“I got into a state where I was too concerned with everybody else in the family just to get through. I mean not liking it and knowing that if only he (her father) didn’t drink everybody wouid be OK. Yet it just goes on and on, from one crisis to the next, from very high highs and very tow iows.”’

From her childhood on Laurie developed a survival system te cope with the alcoholism which essentiatly involved ‘‘keeping the waters calm”’ by preventing family crises.

ES NEWS photo Mike Wakefield

SUBSTANCE ABUSE can have just as devastating an effect on the family as on the abuser. Co-dependents are one of the laygest user groups of sabstance abuse facilitics. Although they often want te help the abuser, the

first step in treatment fs to help the co-dependents gain contro} of their life.

Alternatives counsellor Judy Tait says Laurie’s experience is typical cf co-dependents and especially of women, who are citen trained to play the nurturing role in a family.

The unintentional result of this self-sacrifice is often counter- productive in helping solve the underlying problem, the addiction.

THIS PICTURE COULD MAKE YOU SICK

These pills may look innocent enough on this page but anytime you put two or more medications together without the advice of your Pharmacist, you risk making yourself sick. This is true with

both prescription AND non-prescription drugs. So why take the risk? Ask your Pnarmacist

SSHOPPERS

DRUG

Everything you want in a drugstore“

Ambleside 1583 Marine Drive West Vancouver 922-1271

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926-4618 988-7525

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Lynn Valley Mail 1199 Lynn Valley Road North Vancouver 987-4468

Alternatives executive director -

Alan Podsadowski says because

_ rock bottom they would if left to their own devices.

“Often what it takes is a person

See Co-dependents Page 21

co-dcpendents protect the alcoholic from the natural consequences of their actions, they never reach the

Whauing to encourage

healthy lifestyles for

children and youth.

: British Columbia Teachers’ Federation

MASTERING THE SEAS FOR INDUSTRY

i *

INNA EN R = We appreciate your patronage and wed love to see you again, so please drink responsibly.

“Sponsored by the Management and Staff?

ANA NANA

! at

Cold Beor

135 Pemberton Ave. Ny and Wine Store = North Van. WEE) Mon-Sat. H-midnight 5 984-3558 Sanday iL si = Uniti UGE LATOURETTE ESO TETRA oe aa wo oat S ' . vee ; .