38 - Sunday, December 3, 1991 — North Shore News

The helping hands of Christmas

From page 38

Me, I would’ve been satisfied if an ashtray had been moved six in- ches left of its former spot on the kitchen table. That’s how I felt.

And so one is barraged by a series of unsurprises as he wanders from room to room till he runs out of rooms and comes to the end of the line where he finds himself.

I sat down before the kitchen table which looked like a dog had died on it, or like some still-life impressionistic study entitled Bachelor Death.

As speedily as possible the front page rattled open.and I sank into the reports of war, vague bomb

_ threats. and disgraced politicians that give us hope for tomorrow, ’ day by day.

I remained thus for perhaps half an hour. The house settled into a moody silence, the only sound. the plates clinking in the sink deep inside the pantry.

They were probably hungry, or cramped from being in one posi- tion too long.

“oo dwelt like a fly on the finan- cial page. A short, quick, almost “imperceptible movement that

~-could’ve easily come from the in- .

_ Side of. my own head tugged mi-

”mitely at my ear.

“I stopped reading with a slight “jerk and phased my eyes about the room, catching nothing in the dull dragnet. . | decided ! wanted a sinoke, I * “seach out behind to where I knew ‘‘['d-left-them in my. coat, ‘hanging on the back of my chair but then there they were on the table, right beside the damn ashtray. Things like this happen to the “person living alone. You grow to

expect theniand. groom yourself . © be calm when they occur, for if”

ou didn’t the. whole house would urely. dissolve and swirl. away as f somebody had flushed it down

almost medicinal in certain sit- ations. -. ~ ot “Casually, almost-as if. nothing ‘had. happened, I cracked the deck f: smokes and. shook oneé out.

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on the hind legs of my chair to rustle out the matches from my coat pocket and Jesus Blue Christ there was something in there.

leaning back in the angle of death, suspended in time, 1! withdrew my fingers with glacial speed. Eyes the size of waterbeds, Some other fingers peeked inquir- ingly over the tip of the pocket with the shyness of a garter snake, then snapped themselves in the fashion of one who has made a silly oversight and flipped me out the matches (which | caught only by reflex).

So here I] am arched out across the kitchen like a quick-frozen pickpocket with the bottom drop- ping out of my pants because There’s A Hand In My Pocket!!!

Be calm. Examine these words. There’s A Hand In My Pocket. There's a hand in my pocket.

So?

Where else would you expect to find a hand? Isn't that where your hands usually end up, especially if they're cold? Unless of course they have another hand to hold.

While all this cycled through my head I strictly maintained my far-flung freaked-out pose. As if observing my obvious paralysis, the hand nipped out and gently removed the matches from my frozen fingers.

It lit one (a feat difficult for only one hand but I guess it was pretty used to being just that), and held it out, a flickering offer- ing.

What would you do? I needed that smoke bad. The hand lit it and ! took a long drag. I must’ve looked like some kind of weird, bug-eyed gargoyle.

To be continued.

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We're giving you plenty of reasons to sing —

at Park Royal —

Intermediate Choir

Seymour Heights Primary Choir

Monday December 16th

Ham = West Vancouver

Ham

| 12 Noon

1pm

School Concert Band Sentinel Secondary School Orchestra

} 2pm

12 Noon

2pm

- THE TRADITION OF

Senior Choir Maplewood Choir

Tuesday December 17th

West Vancouver [11 am Secondary School Sentinel 412 Noon Secondary School Choir ‘West Bay Elementary School Choir Irwin Park

Elementary Primary Choir

CAROLS ON THE MALL

Thursday December 12th - lt am Carisbrooke

0 Briday . December 13th

Silam -

Intermediate Choir {

$2Noon Braemar Primary Choir Sherwood Park Choir Ridgeway Annex Choir

Wednesday : Thursday December 18th

Charrwell Elementary School Choir West Vancouver 12. Noon Secondary School Lonsdale Primary Choir Hilkide Middle School

December 19th

liam The Ross Road Singers

Cap Kids Choir

Queensbury Choir

NORTH MALL PARK R YAL

So Much. So Close.

Brooksbank Choir §

1 12.Noon

Fromme : Junior Choir, Lynn Valley Junior Choir.

1pm

§ 2pm

Friday December 20... Hollyburn | | Elementuy Eastview Intermediate Choir Ridgeview Elem. School Intermediate Choir!

llam 12 Noon

1pm