w- Wednesday, Sune 29, 1988: - North Shore News

_LIFESTYLES

ENGA GEMENT bous TS

A “HOW. bo you ‘kniow: if. a "guy really loves. ‘you? : He is 19.” I am too, but lam not

as confident. as’ he is. He ‘does’. everything right, according to my

best. friend, who hashad more . boyfriends than I have. In fact, he’ “hg my, first and that is the problem - ‘sam not used’ to. having ©

~ anybody in: love with me, and * don’t know what to expect. - , He doesn’t go Git with anyone

else but .me:. We have dates Friday, - Saturday and Sunday and usually

itt could J be, ‘of course, that you" really feel insecure. and just can’t © trust samebody who says he loves * you, even if he acts that way and .

tries to show how much . he. loves you at every turn.

_two.or three: weeknights. He. tells uo

“me he loves’ me and will probably ~,

‘buys a: “ring {in the: fall: with | hi: summer earnings. '

”” So don’t know Seat’ to’ ask ‘of him to make me feel more ‘sure of - tim. Obviously, it is'my insecurity:

© that is making th ‘rouble, right? ©

“2 Maybe:it’s- your: wn “confused feelings about him, just possibly? I

In any case,’ you, are “worrying

“490° much to enjoy. this thing you have, with’ him,. sol suggest that you: try to, enjoy. your elationship ~ “

“The:ring does not’ bind you fo “ever. “Engagements™: are” tri

-periods, not the. final. step re

“And with ‘pressure off. you can

allow ‘yourself to. enjoy cach«date

and cach time with‘him, look for-

ward with pleasure to secing him,’ “and see if the conviction grows on. you that he loves you and you Jove:

‘fegret, ; forgiveness, © you". must not over-: _ whelm yourself with blame. °

was

oves. you |

A This is a-very hard thing. to live with — not for every woman who has had an abortion, but fora -

great many who regret the deci- -.

sion... I think you have to. stop: trying to forgive yourself, and accept that you, like = almost . every - other

. mature. person, have something in:” : your: past that ‘you regret ‘deeply. ’. But you have a duty to make your:

life: a. good thing for you: and for

*s others. .,

1 don’t mean. yo have. to live a life‘of self-saccifice, but having ac- cepted that you did something you, and. having. asked:

If you" ‘have been ‘saved and if, your guide. says’.you" have been‘.

forgiven, be grateful for those gifts :

and ‘live’ well... It was a long-time

“ago, and it. was another, person:.

who" made. that . decision... f don’t — mean it. was, your. husband. —- it | another: “you. : You.’ didn't «

show this-.would:

“affect you.in later life. *. ‘T have" to’ say“that=1 believe in’

your “right ‘o have made that deci-

A.-You know it isz it happened ” to you. A woman can get pregnant © without enjoying the impregnating

, act at all. In all fairness, a man can .- become 'a father without enjoying’

it’ very much, though not without

having an ejaculation.” But it isa” Fare, ‘father who:can say he has

never had a pleasurable orgasm... There are ways for you to learn

-how.to have orgasms in the future

— many woinen:have learned this... after being mothers for. years. Get: a good factual, book’ on. human:

sexuality of consult a sex therapist. ©

You are certainly not doomed to ay life without sexual fulfilment

‘