THIS BEING the silly season, when politicians wax poittier than ever and even normal people talk to their cabbages, there is no point in doing a lot of heavy breathing over the quiddities. Far better to contemplate croquet.

I have never played croquet. We peasants never do. To us, the game belongs to the ladies and gents of the fate Victorian period. If 1 remember correctly, they knocked a few balls around in The Impor- tance Of Being Earnest. But cro-

either ball is driven out of bounds, both balls remain where they lie and the strike is entitled to take his continuation stroke.”’

Good stuff, that, if only because the person who wrote that rule knows the difference between

R ule 38 fascinated me, too. ‘A rover that runs a wicket in clearing its deadness and in the same stroke hits a ball upon which it was last dead incurs no penalty, and unless either ball is driven out of bounds, both balls remain where they lie and the strike is entitled to take his

continuation stroke.

quet is still big with some. So much so that a chap in the famous watering hole gave me an up-to- date Rule Book and Glossary.

It contains stuff like Rule 34, which reads: ‘‘A player who has made all the wickets in the proper sequence becomes a rover and is considered alive on all balls.’’

And Rule 36: ‘After hitting at least two balls, a rover ball may be cleared of deadness by passing through any wicket in any direc- tion.”’

Rule 38 fascinated me, too. ‘‘A rover that runs a wicket in clearing its deadness and in the same stroke hits a ball upon which it was last dead incurs no penalty, and unless

Tribute paid to South African women

ON SUNDAY, Canadian women pay tribute to the defiance of South African women past and present. Sponsored by the South African Women’s Day Committee of the Anti-Apartheid Network, the celebration features a program of cultural and educational activi- ties and speeches.

It will be held at the YWCA, 580 Burrard St., from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m.

South African Women’s Day traditionally honors the women who marched on Pretoria in 1956 to protest the pass laws. Susan Mnumzana, with the ANC delega- tion at the United Nations, will speak about the significance of South African Women’s Day.

The tribute also recognizes his- toric parallels between the march on Pretoria and the 1979 march on Ottawa by Native women from Nova Scotia. Writer and Native activist, Lee Maracle, will speak about the Native women’s march.

The mayor of Vancouver will officially declare Aug. 7 South African Women’s Day in Van- couver. Following a reading of the proclamation by Libby Davies, women will walk from City Hall to the YWCA to symbolically observe both marches.

293

“tie”? and ‘lay,’ which is a rare thing these days. But, as I say, this is a game for ladies and gentlemen, not yobboes.

Rule 44 isn’t bad, cither. ‘*The game is won by the side that finishes the game with both balls first...

As you might imagine, this pastime has a noble history. An early version was played in France inthe 14th century, and croquet arrived in England from Ireland in 1850. It is big in the U.S., and I believe | have seen people in white hats chasing rover balls in West Van.

A booklet put out by the Department of Justice must have been written at the height of a silly season. Its title is Guidelines Respecting The Elimination Of Sexist Language In Departmental Communications, and is the baby of two fems who should take up croquet.

Ii too was presented to me in the famous watering hole — by z former federal civil servant who was fleeing to Hong Kong. He had been offered work by the Brits and was seeking to retain his sanity.

The booklet is in French and English, and must be equally daft in both languages.

One chapter is headed Use Of Male And Female Persons To II- lustrate Points Or Provide Exam- ples In Certain Contexts, and in Rule F thereof we read: ‘Humor based on sex-linked traits or char- acteristics is to be climinated.”’

What is really meant, of course, is that humor is to be eliminated.

And how do you like this one?

“The placement of women and men should reinforce their equali- ty. For example, women and men should both be seated or standing; if seated, bath should be at desks or at a table.”’

It is wrong, of course, to use terms like forefathers, man-made, mankind, manpower, man in the street and working man.

Lady-like is also a no-no. Justice Department persons are supposed to say ‘‘well-mannered.’’

I still prefer lady-like. If she’s a lady, that is, and not like one of those fem lawyers who appear in courts these days looking navvy- like, or like they’ve been dragged through a bush.

Mother and child are out, too. Dead. In their place, says this booklet, are ‘‘parent and child.”’ So are wives. Anything but that.

The fems who wrote this stuff should try chasing a few rover balls. ©

Candidate for the Nomination of the Liberal Party Federal Riding Capilano-Howe Sound

Oiga Barrat, Ph.D. Announces the opening of her office in West Vancouver

1425 Marine Drive, Suite No. 340 Tel. 922-4061

Please come in to discuss the issues.

OLGA AVRAMOVIC BARRAT, P.O

REGULARLY

9 - Friday, August 5, 1988 - North Shore News

is pleased to announce “Gary the Butcher” has returned!

Age at’ Gary will be pleased to greet his old

custorners and looks forward to meeting new ones!

Watch for our in-store weekend specials on our fresh meats and produce!

Queensbury Market 701 Queensbury Ave.

Papermaking

by hand.

A TWO-DAY WORKSHOP WITH SHARYN YUEN — SEPT. 9-11

n this workshop a variety of methods of producing hand-

formed paper sheets will be taught, and you'll explore using

fibres as sculptured medium through traditional European

. papermaking and conternporary casting techniques. Stable papers are produced from cotton/linen rags and linters.

nstruction includes coloring and painting with pulp laminating, embedding, casting a paper bowl, low relief casting with a

vacuum table, making shaped papers and other experimental

. techniques. Studio work is supplemented by slide and video presentations.

haryn Yuen has studied the art of papermaking in Quebec,

Banff, California, Belgium and Japan. Over the past ten years

her work has been extensively exhibited in the Northwest. She

- is well known as a teacher as well as an artist. Sharyn

is currently proprietress of Kakali Handmade Papers. She is also co- owner of PaperYa on Granville Island.

lam Bay Farm is a 100-acre organic farm rich with crops, meadows, forests and wildlife, a stocked trout pond and a half mile of ocean shoreline set in a peaceful valley on Pender Island. You will enjoy delicious meals cooked with produce from our gardens, walks on the beach and through the woods, horses, canoeing, hot tub and sauna. A 50% deposit is due two weeks before workshop date. Please book early as space is limited. Tuition, room and board: $190.

ther workshops scheduled for Clam Bay Farm this summer

Govindido - ‘Hands On’ Drum Workshop. July 15-17 Susan Hughes - The Garden Within. July 22-24 olander - Silk Dyeing with Natural Dyes. Aug. 5-7

. Robes Minden - Ways of Telling — A Storytelling Workshop Aug. 19-21

¢ Daphne Marlatt - Journal Writing for Women. Sept. 16-1

* Sandra Semchuck - Photographing Within Play. Sept. 30-Oct. 2

FOR FURTHER INFORMATION CALL CORRINE DAVIS.

VON 2M0 (604) 629-6313

EXERCISE

For information on how the YMCAcan improve your litestyle call: 681-0221