THOSE ROGUES in Ottawa having pro-rogued parliament, it’s time to issue the Mary Collins Golden Turkey Awards again. Which, you may recall, are given in honor of the worst speech ever made in those hollow halls. So here goes:

To Mayor Don Lanskail and the West Van City Council; for trying to impose those terrible twin towers on the local peasantry. (This award stands even though the miscreants decided to take a second look when the enraged peasantry appeared, waving pikes.)

To Mayor Jack Loucks and most of North Van City Council; not for ‘‘condemning’’ your man Doug, but for wasting taxpayers’ time and money discussing an issue on which they are poorly inform- ed, namely freedom of speech. Ald. Bill Bell gets an extra award for being a book-burner.

To B.C. Transit; for planning to move the North Van bus depot to Burnaby.

To Shaw Cable; for scratching most of the Great Immigiation Debate; and for making people pay for programs they don’t want.

To West Vancouver council again; for organizing a ‘‘revitaliza- tion’’ program that turned out to be a devitalization program.

To Treasury Board president Pat Carney; for telling Vancouverites they should aim for the big time and make their city into a Hong Kong, Tokyo or Singapore, com- plete with Chinese street signs, etc.

To Bill Vander Zalm; for selling the Expo site to Li Ka Shing and thus creating Hong Harbor.

To Brian Baloney and Zalm alike; for appointing a Chinese immigrant as Lt. Gov., and thus signalling to the Asiatic world that

we are ready to be taken over.

To the Vancouver Province, for the Vander Zalm numerology nonsense.

To Immigration Minister Bar- bara McDougall; for delaying the

A Golden Turkey Award to) Bill Vander Zalm, for selling the Expo site to Li Ka Shing and thus creating Hong Harbor.”’

restrictions on phoney refugees yet another six months, thus preving tha: she is a worthy successor to all those other wimps who occupied that ministry over the past 20 years.

To Jake Epp, minister for health and welfare; for trying to out-NDP the NDP by allowing the state to look after people’s kids for them; and for banning cigarette advertis- ing. A real Calvinist, this guy.

To Dr. Helen Caldicot, the Australian anti-nuclear loony who

stated: ‘‘] see Mikhail Gorbachev as a second Jesus Christ."

To the University of Victoria; for planning to give an honorary doctorate to Winnie Mandela, the obnoxious wife of communist ter- rorist Nelson Mandela.

To the media of the Western world, who, in their limitless stu- pidity, have made the aforemen- tioned Nelson Mandela a hero se- cond only to Charlemagne, King of the Franks.

To John Turner; who as an Op- position Leader spends most of his time wasting our time; a desperate case, this.

To the B.C. Government Employees; for trying to make out that only government employces can keep the roads going.

To Svend Robinson; for saying that happiness is holding hands in Stanley Park with another man.

To the United Church of Canada; for approving the ap- pointment of pansies to par- sonages.

To those Vietnamese im- migrants; who, to show how grate- ful they are for being accepted in this country as refugees, run up and down this coast grabbing every crab and clam they can get their greedy milts on.

To the Irish Republican so-call- ed Army; for being the murderous thugs they are.

And last, dut by no means least, to Brian Baloney, Chuck Cook and the great Mary herself; for putting Quebec first by voting in favor of Bill C-72, the language legislation that sends English Canada to the back of the federal job bus@

Police seek B.B. gun culprit

NORTH VANCOUVER RCMP are seeking public assistance in solving a case in which a North Van- couver golfer was shot in the head by a B.B. gun Aug. 29

of his head.

The man was setting up for his second shot on the

sixth hole of the Seymour Golf & Country Club course when he was knocked over by the gunshot. The shot drew blood and the victim required medical

Sale starts Thurs., Sept. 1, 9:30 AM

At SKYLINE SPORTS we start every ski seacon with a September ski sale. This year we once again have great savings on ski equipment and ski clothing for you to choose from. Examples are:

Lange TSI (87-88)... Salomon 747 .. Ski Jackets (Assorted)... . Shop early to get the best selection and remem- ber...winter is just around the corner.

SALE 279% sare 119% SALE 99%

. 395.00 .... 195.00 200.00

attention to close a three-inch gash across the crown

Police patrols of the area were unsuccessful in locating the culprit.

Police are cautioning parents to be especially alert when giving children access to seemingly harmless toys such as B.B. and pellet guns.

9 - Wednesday, September 7, 1988 - North Shore News

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