8 - Sunday, September 29, 1985 - North Shore News

Canadian fish comedy a classic

THERE ARE two great theatres in the world. One is the Comedie Francaise, now featuring L’affaire Greenpeace. The other is the Comedie Canadienne, featuring Fish Most Foul.

Great acting is to be seen in both, but Fish Most Foul packs more laughs.

The play opens with Fish Minister John Fraser gobbl- ing a can of rotten tuna. “Great stuff,’’ he enthuses. “Bring me some morc, waiter. God, I’ve never had any fish like this."*

Two fish inspectors hurry on stage. like Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern. ‘‘Sir,’' they chant in unison, ‘‘that fish is foul, and should not soil human gullet.”*

Shouts John: ‘Go away! Find some other fish to bitch about. My close friend, Dickie Hatfield, says this is the greatest. He’s sniffed it

himself and says it’s even

better than coke.”

“The inspectors . hurry away, muttering. The stage revolves, and we see two men in masks. talking. to some sneaky-looking “TV

Small’ ‘black. rabbit,

people. We do not know what they are saying, but as with all good theatre, the audience must do a bit of

guessing. . Soon there is a_ great noise, “Fish Most Foul!’',

shout the newsboys. ‘*Read all about it!"

The scene switches to Ot- tawa, which is full of fish experts. Fraser. speaks man- fully. ‘‘My inspectors,’’ he says, “‘applied a subjective test of esthetics. In other words, the idiots actually stuck their noses into this wonderful stuff when what they should have done was to hold their noses. If they had only done that there would have been no fuss over this fish.’*

The leader of the Opposi-

‘tion, another John, says he’s

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PARTIE

get this straight

by Doug Collins

even the starving Ethiopians have refused this fine fish. ‘WEAPON

‘“‘Let -them’.eat cake,” declares ’ Fraser. Offstage, a voice is heard saying that

this tuna could be the Hy i A greatest secret weapon of all : _ q . . time. ‘If you ever meet the WSURANCE 7 a: PROFESSIONAL enemy, just breath on him,’” . SERVICES

states the voice.

Baloney screams it is not so. He is so mad _ his beautiful teeth shake in their beds just as if they were working on a bunch of best Canadian tuna. John re- cants. More voices off. “This is a bit fishy,’ they say.

BACK BENCHES

There is now great confu- sion in the Comedie Cana- dienne. Players and audience mill about, pushing and shouting. Baloney prances on stage to make a speech. ‘‘No more stinking fish,”’ he yells. ‘‘Sinking fish, Yes.

The howling continues, . i

the Fish Minister “Y’m not the only

and declares:

one. Brian Baloney knew all.

about this weeks ago.’’

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Stinking fish, No.”

The meaning of this cryp- tic slogan becomes clear when the Fish Minister says he has volunteered for the back benches. He is tired of eating tuna in public and dealing with inspectors who won't hold their noses.

Fred McCain, a character actor, now hobbles on. He is from the well-known com- edy team of McCain and Abie. Baloney was present, he says, when he, Fred, revealed there was something rotten in the air. Baloney is seen peeping through a keyhole, and right away McCain says he was wrong.

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The audience holds its col- lective gut in mirth.

The foreign dramatic crit- ics had never seen anything like this. ‘‘The play is fun- nier than hell," wrote the New York Times man, ‘but has a certain sense of unreality. One cannot imag- ine Ronald Reagan or Mag- gie Thatcher making so many speeches about fish. They leave that kind of thing to the clerks.”

The final scene was superb. The former Fish Minister opens a: fish shop. Fraser’s Fine Fish, says the sign. And the curtain fell to thunderous applause.

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