32 - Sunday. duly 5, 1987 ~ North Shere News

Lifestyles

MEDICAL CENTRE DONORS CARD

The wording was not incorrect

DEAR MISS MANNERS — On the demise of my husband, T received several cards from at medical centre indicating that donations had been made in bis name,

The wording on the cards seem- ed inappropriate to ome. and I became vers upset. f felt the wor- ding should have been “in memo- ry of (name of deceased) and not “Honoring the memory of (name of deveased).”*

assured her that it is indeed possi- ble not only te honor a person but alo to honor an event and to honor someone's memars. Nevertheless, Miss Manners does not expect to shift all the burden at her work, and there are eti-

miss

Manners

by Judith Martin

1 wrote to them expressing my feelings that honor is nat bestowed on an event. but on a person. Their response to me was that they have sent out thousands of such cards with ‘honoring the memory of and (hat no one has complain- ed until now.

[ feel Loam right. but I don't have the wherewithal to prove it. Can you help me?

GENTLE READER — Miss Manners passed your language question on to her distinguished colleague, Mr, William Safire, who

quetie aspects of the situation deft to be dele with, One is for you and one for the medical centre.

Cards sent fram the centre to the donors constitute only an official acknowledgement, not a social response, and therefore do not ex- cuse you from writing sour own fetters of thanks. Thus, even had such cards been truly incorrect, they would not have reflected adversely on your social kills.

As for the medical centre, it should learn that one does the right thing because it is the right

thing ~- not because no one has so tar camplained.

DEAR MISS MANNERS ~— We have just come from a family cen. nion. at which my daughter's cous. in —- very pretty, aanned, with st great figure —- und a friend: she hropeht alone simph ignored mys dauvhter, as well as dirce otter COUSINS,

They spent the whole time sunn- ing themselves on tap ot a hoat (hey never put in water showing oft their very brief bikinis. When the athecs asked if (hes were going ans where in the neighborhood, the two girls flipped their long hair, shrugged and said, “We're getting smashed on the beach,”

My daughter, 21, has bad her share of tragedy. A diabetic from the ave of 3, she was seriousty in- jured in an accident at 14, requir- ing five hospitalizations, Ske has also had 23) hospitalizations for dizbetes, She copes fairly well and is now very pretty and charming, in spite of everything.

She and fier three cousins think the other cousin is a stuck-up snob with nothing but goad looks aoing for her. She was downright rude, answering questions with quick, flip retorts.

fF know she is jealous of our daughter, who is an only child, always had more clothes, ete., and has the insurance money from the accident, The cousin's father owes us more than $100,000 for a business we sold him and has bor-

rowed piich more over the seurs, and we have helped in) financial crises,

foam furious over the shabby treatment of our daughter and would like ta make waves of some sort to let the family know,

ENTLIE READER — Don't. Miss Manners dogs not want to in- sud yout relatives, but they sound Hike horrid) social or business USSOCTAIES .

Howeser. she is more disturbed over the sway vou tell the story. Your daughter's iness and acei- dent and your financial assistance ate not reasons that the cousin should hase been polite. fmptving that vou and your daughter are en- titled to be treated politely because you are owed something, by fare or by the girl's father, iy damaging to you both, We are all owed polite treatment,

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4606 East Hastings, Burnaby Tel. 299-0666

Preschoolers find summer fun

For niore information, contact

to August 13 in two-week sessions

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The program runs from July 6

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