TATLA LAKE — The an- cient Chinese thought gun- powder was only useful for firecrackers and the Mayans developed the wheel but us- ed it only on children’s toys. Some of the same narrow, limited thinking goes on today about diesel oil.

Too many think that diesel is just a poor relation of gasoline and useful only to run tractors. Come to Chilcotin, where fv. ward thinkers have made diesel a true friend and servant of mankind.

St wasn’t always that way. Peo- ple had to learn.

Originally, men bought diesel engines because they are more ef- ficient and last longer that gaso- line engines. People were also en- courag.’! to buy diesel vehicles by their governments who contrived to convey the notion that they considered diesel a fuel for the working man and that no man could be so dear, so close to the heart of government as the work- ing man.

Once enough people had bought diesels the taxes went up. Now you pay about as much for British Thermal Units in diesel as you do for the BTUs in gasoline.

Governments are like that. Those who are now converting gasoline and diesel engines to nat- ural gas, another clean and ex- cellent fuel, will in time make the same discovery and end up paying about as much for natural gas as they did for the fluids.

The government tax man is watching those trusting souls and when the time is ripe will shoot them right where the braces cross.

Serve them right. They should have read their Bibles and memo- rized the words ‘‘Put not your trust in princes.”

Meanwhile, here in the ranch country and, doubtless, other pat- ches of the boondocks where the people do not believe everything

Paul St. Pierre

PAULITICS & PERSPECTIVES

that government people tell them, here diesel has been diversified and made to serve man and beast and chase off wolves.

How is diesel Joved and appre- ciated in this land?

Let us count the ways.

Diesel makes camp fires.

The books say you should find pine tree pitch or paper from a birch bark tree. Or else you make delicate feather sticks from dry cedar with a sharp knife. This is your tinder, next come small dry twigs from the underside of fallen logs, next finger sized sticks and finally ones the size of your forearm.

Building an outdoor fire in this way is as graceful as ballet, but if you’ve got to go to the store, would you rather walk or do dance steps all the way?

Ask any cowboy, guide or for- ester how he starts a fire.

Diesel. What else?

Haul in any old wood, any old size, wet or dry. Make a heap of it. Pour on one cup of diesel. Any old cup will do. Run a household match up the seat of your jeans. Throw it. Get warm.

Another use for diesel is killing weeds. Pour it on the cracks in patios, pour between the slabs on

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How does a cowboy Start a campfire?

Why, with diesel, the wonder fuel of the Chilcotin

driveways and walkways, dump it into hanging baskets containing flowers you do not like. Diesel kills cootics in old bunkhouses and bugs in the henhouse. Diesel kills almost anything except gov- ernment tax collectors.

Moose hunters use diesel. **When your animal has been dressed and quartered, walk a cir- cle around it dribbling diesel fuel

on the ground. This will keep wolves and coyotes away from it. Pour some on the moose quarters and you will be able to prevent humans from eating it too. ltisa marvellous fluid and better than urine.

Deer hunters may urinate around a carcass, looking a bit sil- ly as they do so, but few have the capacity to circle a moose carcass or, if hunting in Africa, a giraffe’s.

Diese} cleans paint brushes, tractor parts, tools and human hands.

Poured over floor jcists in an- cient log cabins, diesel disrupts the digestive and sexual processes of carpenter ants. There are patented poisons which will also accomplish that, but you can’t buy those po- tions for a couple of bucks per Imperial gallon.

Diesel may be the reason thac rattlesnakes have never crossed the Fraser River into Chilcotin. On the other hand, nobody can prove that it wasn’t the reason either and in the absence of proof it seems fairest to credit the late Rudolf Diesel with leaving this land viperless.

Dieset sets wasp nests ablaze, cures warts, and softens harness leather. Although it will not remove lipstick from a man’s shirt, it will make it smell so strong that his wife will be disinclined to examine it.

These, and a hundred other uses, not excluding running the stuff through an engine and mak- ing it cackle, are the reasons that diesel, not whiskey, is called Essence of Chilcotin.

Friday, October 5, 1990 - North Shore News - 9

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