52 - Wednesday, March 11, 1992 - North Shore News

f Q. i HAVE been with my boyfrien¢ for over a year and our relationship is good.

We get along very well on just about evezything except the fre- quency of sex. That is our one sore spet.

He wants to have sex three or four times a week, but I am satisfied with sex once every two or three weeks.

When we do make love, it is good. This problem is beginning to put a strain om our otherwise great relationship.

Is there any way to increase sexual desire?

A. First, you must have a med- ical checkup to find out if there is something. physically wrong with you,

If that is not the case, find out if everything else in your relation- ship is all right. Perhaps it is sim- ply an issue of your not wanting sex, but it doesn’t sound that way to me. I have serious questions about your relationship.

When you do have sex, are you

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very passionate? Are you annoyed or angry with your boyfriend in any way?

You may not even be aware of some of your own feelings about him.

I'd also like to know what hap- pens when he wants to have sex and you don’t. Does he mastur- bate? Deo you pleasure him? You must find out what is the real issue.

Q. Our son has recently told us he is gay. Though many people would disagree with our feelings, my wife and I were happy fer him wien we found out that he has been in a monogamous relation- ship for over a year.

We were beginaing to wonder why he never had a girlfriend. We always thought he was just unlucky in love. The reality was he has never felt comfortable enough vatil now to tell us about his relationships with men.

We have met his partver, with whom he lives, and we think they make a great couple. His partner's parents, however, do not look as kiediy upon the relationship as we

BC. pensioners must renew

_IF’S’ TIME for pensicners who receive the Guarantced Income Supplement (GIC), Spouse’s AJ- lowance (SA) os Widowed Spouse's Allowance (WSA) benefits to re-apply.

in January, renewal application kits were mailed out to 155,500 pensioners in B.C. Eligible seniors who have not received a kit cari pick up application forms at any income Security Programs Office.

This GIS is an extra monthly payment for Old Age Security pensimners with ‘little or no addi- tion.:: income.

The SA and the WSA are paid to pensioners’ spouses and widowed spouses respectively be- tween the ages of 69 and 65 who meet residence and income re- quirements.

Applications for all three benefits must be made each year because they are based on the previous year’s income.

To ensure that benefits will be included in their April Old Age Security (OAS) cheques, pen- sioners should return their com- pleted apnlications to the Iscome Security Programs Branch (SPB)

regional office in Victoria by March 3}.

‘Applications received aftez the deadline will be processed and appropriate adjustments will be made in May. However, we're auxious to avoid any reduction in payments on April's cheque which might cause hardships for low- income seniors,” said Reta Tee-

ple, programs chief of the ISPB in B.C.

Individuals with no income to declare on their 1991 income tax returns are encouraged to submit their application forms immediate- ly. Seniors who live in northern Canada should also return their renewal applications right away, even if they are applying for the Northern residents’ deduction.

Those with income to claim, however, should wait until they have received all income informa- tion before applying for benefits.

Teeple also encouraged pen- sioners who dc _ not receive these benefits to find out if they qualify zhis year.

For mere information 666-3040.

call

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do.

They disapprove of our son and have all but kicked their own son out of their family. Their behavior is not fair te their son or to themselves.

Do you think it would be ail right if my wife and I had a talk with them? Someone must do

_ Say to them

LIFESTYLES Find real issues behind lack of desire

something befare whey alienate their son completely and hurt both young men in the process.

A. Do not say a word to them! It is true they may alienate theic son, but there is nothing you can that would make them change their behavior.

Be happy you are the type of supportive parents you are. Ac- cept your son’s lover into your home with open arms and let him know you are available if he needs guidance.

I’m sure your son appreciates the support you give him and the open line of communication you set up.

Q. | am now living with my girlfriend, but I don’t know that I will always feel the way I feel about ker now.

Since I moved in with her, I have been monogamous. but ! ean’t imagine spending the rest of my life without ever having sex with anyone else.

This is the first relationship I've tad without cheating. I know there are a lot of people who have sex with the same person for

And you don’t even have to

years, and even forever. I doubt I will ever be one of those kinds of people.

3 don’t believe there is anything wrong with the way other people are or with the way I am. I simply believe it is psychologically im- possible for some people to re- main monogamous. What do you think?

A. I think in these days of STDs, those who are monogamous are the lucky lot!

The majority of mankind is able to remain monogamous. They should thank their lucky stars.

I hope your partner never reads this letter. If you were my lover, I would show you the door.

It is all right for you to fan- tgsize, but you are not fantasizing. You have an idea that you are go- ing to leave her.

I find it unfair for you to stay with her because you think, “I am now in this relationship because it is convenient and I am getting all { need.””

If you kaow that you are going,

to look for someone else you have an obligation to get out now.

move. Because right now, the average rent in - Greater Vancouver is only about half of what it costs to own and operate that unit.

Surprised? Most people are.

The fact is that with current property values, the average cost of mortgage interest, tax and maintenance for a Vancouver apartment. is almost double the average rental cost. ~«..--

ventualiy, appreciation in value may make the owners’ investment worthwhile. But in the meantime, the tenant gets the benefit.

Keep that in mind the next time you hear about high housing costs. Renting is good value.

(Sources: CMHC, BC Assessment Authority, Comparison of One Bedroom Apariment.)

t

RENTING IS GOOD VALUE

GREATER VANCOUVER APARTMENT OWNERS’ ASSOCIATION

SneeAtbiant' Dreamin: