t-

Cl2 - Wednesday, August 19, 1981 - North Shore News

popular here. I sort of fee] at home and quite safe. You know what I mean? But my parents have been transferred to —

out so

naturally and now I'll have to leave all my friends and go to

new. I have no brothers or sisters and FR juse have my parents. What I want to ask you fs do you happen to know what kids are like in — ? Will I feel like an odd ball? Do they have the same interests there that we do here? How big a change will it be? How do you go about moving in as a stranger and

Beware of inhaling compliments

QUESTION: I was walking through one of the big stores the other day and saw, approaching me, a guy ! have known for a loug time. In fact, you might call him am old friend. (This is not a

me, but as we got quite close to each other, I saw that he ied not seen who it was and was about to pass are. I said “HE to him and he rather shyly said, “Oh gosh, I nearly missed you. J did not took at your face because I was busy lovely figere.”

ft must admit | had a very pleasant reaction to what be said. I felt good about it. Afterwards, I told my girl friend about it and she said, quite vebemently, “Another sexisa!” [I was so surprised

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getting to know a bunch of

new ?

STEWART: I can un-

. derstand you feeling scared

sure, it will be hard at times, but it will also be exciting and a real challenge. I have a feeling you'll find—-out ence again that everything will “work out gradually and naturally” .

Fve never lived in the place you mention and so I can’t tell you “what the kids are like” there. I think, however, that in many Ways they will be quite like your friends here. (They will be different in many ways too,

because I had thought that what he said was natural and trathful and a compliment.

Since then, I have been wondering a bit whether my girl friend was right about him. Should I have been offended rather than pleased?

STEWART: You don't need a “SHOULD” in relation to fecling pleased or feeling offended. You felt happy unal your friend dropped her mini-bomb ona you. YOU felt fine and were free of any negative feelings for the guy. (He sounds to me, natural and impulsive and able to share his compliments

or your clothes or

How to be popular anywhere

of course).. I’ve been trying to think of what kids like in each other in most places of the world. [ll give you my ideas about that and perhaps you will toss them around in your mind. See if you agree with me in some of these hunches.

Anywhere _in the world. I think kids like their friends to be friendly without being gushy; they like them to be outgoing but not pushy; they like them to have a sense of humour without being smart alecs; they like them sexy without being over- powering; athletic but not macho; with good heads, but

ask hayden stewart

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-624. for appointments for individual. family or group counselling. His office in the International Plaza Hotel (Open Tuesdays only) is for the convenience of North Shore residents

easily). There is

SHOULD for your friend either. She blurted out to you how she reacted and that is the way she is. Give her that right. Give the guy his right too. And keep on with your right to feel as you feel without anxiety over how someone else thinks you SHOULD feel. Sometimes you will not like what you hear, and that’s O.K. But if you continue with your attitude, youll be able to say, time and time again, “I like it! I like it!!!" At times. what you react to will have been said about your figure and at times about your face, your

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not acting like geniuses, attractive but not crammed with “additives”, “preser- vatives” and “‘artificial colouring” and “flavouring”; independent without being high-hat and aloof; leaders without taking over; sharing without being show-offs: confident without being brassy; respecting others without being sucks; in- terested in others without being phoney and finally, unafraid to be “spiritual” (in this Aquarian Age) without being salesmen of their beliefs and way of life.

Go into your new life,

happy about who you are!

brains or your mischievousness, or your — are you ready? — your totality. And if you are practised at recognizing your feelings about other com- pliments, you will be better equipped to recognize a comphment about your real and total person. And that can open up a whole new area of joy and friendship and love.

No compliments, sexist or otherwise will do you any harm — as long as you don't inhale them. —

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