SHE'S NOT EXACTLY INEXPERIENCED

Almost 16 and not on the pill

QUESTION: My girl-friend’s parents absolutely refuse to give her permission to be on The Pill. le seems to me a very dumb decision for them to make for their daughter who [fs almost 16 and not exactly imexperienced, which they know. They also know that Vikki (not her name) is the kind of girl that is going to do what she wants to. So - under those cir- cumstances, what is the sense in withholding her from The Pili?

Well anyway, seeing she is not on The Pill, | want to get your idea of what the good points and the bad points are in what we are doing. I'll tell you exactly what we do so

Always

QUESTION: I am a person who is continually getting into ruts. There are so many things about me that are exactly as they have been ever since | can remember. My Saturdays are always the same; I always use the same brand and shape and colour facial tissues; my brand of cigarette has been my brand for 17 years now; as a long time companion of ‘miles’, I find that I hate kilometres more than any one else I know; my family have been Presbyterians for four generations that 1 know of;

you won't have to guess about what I'm saying.

(Note from Hayden: At this poimt, the writer does what he says he'll do and in very explicit terms describes the details of his love- making experiences with his girl-friend. What he describes fits into the “coitus interruptus" method of avoiding pregnancy). The writer continues: Now what I want to know is whether there are any unhealthy results of this method. Anybody would know that it is a good way to avoid pregnancy, but are there any side effects?

STEWART: You are jumping the gun a bit when

you say “il 18 a good way lo avoid pregnancy.” As a birth-control method. it

actually does not rate very high. You had better not bank on it.

There are no important physical side-effects for the although

man, the

psychological side-effects and the pattern-setting effects on him should not be ignored.

Like any) sexually stimulating experience thal is prolonged yet does not result in orgasm, the result (for the woman) May be

getting into ruts

bacon has to be crisp, my cars have all been blue; and, as I thought about it just now, | became aware that all my friends are friends of long standing. Literally, | have no new friends. So you see what 1 mean about being in a rut. | have been vaguely aware of being like | am, but only recently have I been clear about how pronounced my problem is. I don't like being a stick in the mud and want to change. Have you any ideas about how I can proceed with getting out of the rut?

STEWART: Youve made a start already! You have seen what you are like: you have felt that you want to change. and, now, you have started something by whiting this letter.

Wanting to change 1s a powerful beginning. Now, the decision to doit. Are you ready for that?

A good starting place may be connected to the ruts you have described. Chimb out! Do something different this Saturday: use a new sort of facial tissue for a while; BE

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the changes you want lo see happen. You may find that some of vour ruts are quite valid and worthwhile (e.g. - keeping your old fnends) and some of your ruts are not rewarding to you at all. (e.g. - not making new friends).

Wanting something comes first. Deciding to give yourself what you want 1s second. Third (and the pay- off) is DOING IT.

Happy new discoveries and freedoms'

C7 - Wednesday, April 28, 1982 - North Shore News

congestion of blood in her genital organs. and, possibly. chronic pelvic pain and other gynecological complaints (''Human Sexuality” by James Leslie McCary).

Dr. McCary. who = is Professor of Psychology at

é

ask hayden stewart

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242 for appointments for individual, family or group counselling.

the University of Houston, goes on to say, “Probably the most distress-aspect of coitus interruptus is the onus on the man” who must judge wisely and well when and how to completely reverse the natural male impulse to do other than proceed with coitus interruptus.

Additional comments might be more apropos, but [ have kept to your questioning because, as you say. Vikki is “not entirely inexpenenced” and is “the kind of girl that is going to do what she wants to”. Other procedures are open to you. You could both change you know. And for that matter, so might her parents.

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