A LONG time ago, in a “stomach”? not too far away, I was once a little baby.

By Rod Solar Contributing Writer

There | was swimming blissfully in my mummy’s tummy waiting until I could finally pounce into

. the world and make my mark; stake my claims; do it my way. _ No sooner had the dazzling delivery room. spotlights ~had a chance to grace the smoothness of . ny baby’s bum, than I found I'd » need a little help to traverse the bumpy and complicated road we

“galled life.

These were the hours of incred-

ible new experiences. 1 was blind--

ed’ by the alien light of the world.

7. 1 RISE

ITS wickeD! You CAN FIND OUT ALL SORTS OF STUFF ABOUT SOMEBODY

I was slapped to start breathing. I felt coldness for the first time on the doctor’s steel scale.

In the days that followed I found, to my surprise’ and great elation, that I was the very centre of this bright new world. Everyone catered to my every whim. Me, from the depths of liquid darkness, I became the new wonder of the universe.

The universe, although, quite smaller in those days.

it consisted of a cage around fiy little body from which [ saw ma:y figures towering above me, picking me up, singing mad songs and chanting ridiculous grunting sounds. How strange they all acted; two in particular seenied to never leave me alone.

There they were, day and night, like two tireless prison guards, whose sole point in life seemed to be to watch and record my every

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move, from the first time I farted to the first time I walked on two legs.

Soon, though, the cage was taken down and I managed to do some much-needed exploring. The visits from people were now fewer and farther between, but these two, they still lingered.

The seemed everywhere! At every corner outlet, under every lofty staircase, underneath me when I fed, and above me when bathed. -

It seemed to me that it would be a long time before I got rid of these dawdlers, so I decided to accept their persistent cooing and gooing. Of course, frustration would sometimes get the better of me and I’d often make a mess (hell, I wasn’t going to entertain them, listen to their banter, play with their toys and clean up after myself all at the same time).

++ LIKE L SAY, THIS 1S MY OWN PERSONAL.

YOu, FOR EXAMPLE, WERE BORN IN THE “YEAR OF THE PIG“!

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MULES OF THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER. UNFORTUNATELY, {11S THOUGH? Td HAVE’ BEEN DESTROYED BY

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Final Exit is a book that tells ter- minally ill patients how to end their lives. Unfortunately, it has

been linked to three suicides — -

none of the victims were termi- nally ill. Do you think the book should be banned?

980-KiDS Making big out of something small

So I'd puke on them and spill things every chance I got. After all, these were the most carefree times of my life, I might as well enjoy them.

With every. passing day, with every new word, they were shrink- ing. Soon, they were not much bigger than I was and I saw them a bit less.

1 have to admit, two blokes.

By the time I was their size I saw even fess-of them. I'd think back to old days when I had been a prince, when I could do no wrong. I missed them.

But such melancholy gets me nowhere. Instead, I decided to write a little poem, just to show them that ail their countless hours as my prison guards are well remembered:

I missed the

Bo you remember, mom and dad I was the only thing you had? I was the symbol of your love I was as pure white as a dove.

And how the lightbulbs in my. mind,

Imagination.

DRAMAWORKS, the North Shore’s drama school for young

people, will be bringing regular features to Zap starting next week, The write-ups will describe simple drama exercises you can do at home with family and friends. The feature will start with self- awareness; relaxation and visu- alization; awareness and imagina- tion; relaxation and concentration. The drawings that illustrate

LAST WEEK we asked if you thought Michael Jackson’s video should be censored. The split in opinion was about 50- 50. Even Michael himself called and registered his opinion, al- though it + didn’t sound a lot like him..

Would all explode and make me blind?

How I sang just like a sparrow, How I zan fasi as an arrow?

Do you remember, mom and dad, When I was just a little bad?

And I would tell you miy distress - and you would give me thankfulness?

Pl always be your little boy, Your little bundle full of joy, But I think I’ve found the key, to open doors and set me free. .

It’s not a prison I escape,

but a beautiful landscape,

To a world that is my own,

A place to build a novel homé.

But just remember, cause I do, how you used to coo and goo,

In your, likeness, with your hands You've made a brave and happy man.

So I thank you, here and now, : _I even feel compelled to bow: © Thank you, thanks for all,

For making big, out of the small.

to the fore

each feature will be done by. young people from the North - Shore who have Participated in Dramaworks. “ Say Dramaworks organizers, “it’s all about. imagination, . role-. playing and acting. Because it uses _ all the senses of touch, sight. and - sound with art and music, : it: helps us feel good ‘about ourselves, - become less self-conscious, more outgoing.”’ a

No, I don’t think the end should be censored because it’s his video and his own view of everything. I’ve seen it. I think that it shouldn’t be censored because rone of the videos are censored.

T think it’s absolutely pointless.

Yes, I did see Michael Jackson’s video and I do not think it should be censored. But I think they should have a label that says that it’s not in- tended for some viewers.

No, I don’t think it should be censored.

Yes, I saw the video. I thought it was pretty pointiess.

Yes, I saw the video. I don’t . think it should be censored

because he’s not really

touching it he’s just feeling the

area.

I saw his video and I don’t think it should be censored. He has a sight to do snything he wants, and if the parents don’t © like it then they don’t have to let the kids watch it. ”

It’s really quite gross.

. and ‘disgusting. He just wasted

a lot of money on his video.

I think it should be gone. My . whole class at Cleveland school agrees with me.

I think the whole video should be censored except his dancing. . It’s a display of wnnecessary violence and self-molestation.