40 - Sunday, March 13, 1994 - North Shore News

Crystal

WHAT CAN the stars tell you
about your new product’s fate?
Madame Suzan, world-famous
software astrologer. will prepare a
customized star chart based on
your invention or new product. The
seer guarantees to be at least as
accurate as any market research.
Using the shipping date — or other
associated date — Madame Suzan
compiles a list of suggestions-and
possibilities of the product. “We
picked the wrong day to ship our
first Windows version and paid a
terrible price,” one satisfied com-
puter dealer from Cambridge
reported,

According to witnesses, a mid-
die-aged man, 6’4", with a gray
beard, rebbed'a convenience store
in Perryopolis, Pennsylvania, in
August. As a disguise, he was
wearing a large rabbit head, includ-
ing large, floppy ears. However,
the face had been cut out so that the
robber’s face was fully visible.

: e . e

Hasan Arik, 50, was stabbed by
his neighbor, Ibrahim Alkan, 30,
while he was raping one of Alkan’s
chickens, the Anatolia news agency
recently reported. Alkan caught
Arik “in the‘act,” and both men
were injured as they stabbed each
other with knives during the ensu-

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NEWS OF THE
WEIRD

ing melee. Security officials report-
ed that Arik was taken into cus-
tody, and Alkan was only slightly

_injured. The object of Arik’s

desire, meanwhile, was sent to the
provincial veterinarian directorate

‘for medical treatment.

Some recent rumblings on gov-
ernment waste, from Tales from the
Tax Trough H, a booklet published
by. The National Citizens’
Coalition: oe
* $500 million was spent on lan-

HEY NICK...

guage training over 10 years for
civil service positions that do not
require bilingualism.

* $58,000 was spent on an exami-
nation of what it's like to work for
the Dominion grocery store chain.

* $27,000 to study “Fish utilization
in early Pleistocene African sites.”
* The federal government has ear-
marked $220,000 for a new carpet
for Lester B. Pearson Airport's
Terminal 1, despite the fact that it
is likely to be torn down in the near
future.

* $37,363 to study the “effects of
color in advertising.”

* In 1990, the finanace department
spent $300,000 to produce and dis-
tribute information explaining how
the federal government spends your
taxes.

» Also in 1990, the Department of
Industry spent $400,000 to promote
the World Hot Air Balloon
Championships in Quebec.

The following corrections
recently appeared in the magazine
Discovery. In a Discovery item last
week, Kit Hughes was quoted as
saying that before she used Aqua
Mirabilis Bath Salts she was a
“shallow person.” Hughes was a
“shower person.” In a different
story in the same issue, Jim Baily
was quoted as describing Lori
Larsen as “wild and hormy.” What
Baily said was “corny.”

HAVE NOU EVER

NOTICED HOW
SOME CLOUDS

LOOK SUST LIKE
LITTLE WORSIES

AND DOGHIED 7

PLAY OF THE DAY

+. WITH NO FEMALE
COMPANIONSHIP ,
CONVERSATION. OR
CONTACT...

© Kelly Kennedy
+ FINALLY, t CAN

WATCH “BAYWATCH!
IN PEACE /

© Bob Kuhn

1 GET IT TOO, FALCOM, WHETHER AT UK
OR PLAY ~THE FEELING THAT NO MATTER

HOU HARP | TRY, | JUST DONT SEEM 70
GET ANYWHERE

HOROSCOPE

Finding a home
on planet earth

HEAVENS ABOVE :

FEMININE (ADJ.): having
gentleness, weakness, delica-
cy, modesty. .

Ironically, many feminist groups
have embraced the concept of Earth
as feminine.

More in tune with emerging
Western thought, their definition of
femininity includes such attributes
as power, intelligence and self-
determination.

While humans are impressed by
nature’s power, we project upon it a
traditional feminine image, and in
the face of natural calamities are
reassured, for surely a mother will
always be loving toward us, contin-

uc to feed us, clothe us, carry away ..

cur wastes, and never kill us no
matter how much toxic waste we
put into the soil or CFCs into the
ozone (layer).

_ If Earth — round, moist, fertile
— is Mother, then where’s Pop?

_ The ancients placed him at a
comfortable distance in the sky.
Father Sky, “who art in heaven,”
has never better things to do than sit
patiently as the kids destroy the
house.

The Greek male sky deity,
Uranus, joined with Gaia (see last
week's column) to conceive the
human race, then took that big com-
muter train to outer space.

How should modern men react
to their gender roles in nature?

Just as women best think twice
about buying into Mother Earth, so
“should” men be aware of their cos-
mic cultural stereotypes: distant,
selfish, uncaring, opportunistic, or
worse.

Ina letter to MenTalk (Spring
1989), prominent men’s movement
activist, Shepard Bliss, describes
his research into the overlooked
legacy of what he calls the Earth
Father.

Bliss suggests that Adam,
Orpheus, Pan, Osiris, Nut, Johnny
Appleseed, Francis of Assisi,
Thoreau and Whitman should be
included in a more balanced Earth
mythology, where man’s role as
careful steward of the Earth does
not involve its pillage.

Given the cultural and etymo-
logical meanings given to words,
we best think twice before naming
our universe by gender.

A more appropriate approach
would be to look at it as a woncler-
fully complex system — a system
that includes humans but does not
exist for them or because of them
— but one that we have a profound
effect upon.

A name that would reflect our
dependency upon and responsibility
to the planet and all the life it sup-
ports, A name like home.

March 13-19, 1994

ARIES (March 21-April 20)
There is purpose and dimension to

T

your life and thinking, Sunday, Aries. In
tune, Monday, Be creative, Tuesday.
Wednesday, a mixed bug. Much energy, but
where put it ali? Finances well supported,
Thursday, A problem from the past solved,
Friday. A wave of romantic energy, Saturday.

6. rAuRUS (April 21-May 21)

Your sense of humor shows the
way, Sunday, Taurus. A new friend, carly
week. An argument could arise with mate,
Wednesday. Be diplomatic, Thursday. Kiss
and make up, Friday. You and significant
other even closer, Saturday. ne
rr

GEMINI (May 22-June 21)

Early week, Gemini, you could put
your foot in your mouth. Avoid big discus-
sions. Mid-week, someone makes promises
they won't keep. Thursday, get caught up on
odds and ends. You'll feel better. Good news
at work, Friday, Saturday, quiet. Easy rou-
tine. Relax and enjoy.

GO CANCER (June 22-July 23)
Ne) Sunday, Cancer, think things
through carefully. Make actions count. Join
friends for dinner, Monday. Your approach,
Tuesday, very direct. Mid-week, you are not
in the leadership mode. Let someone else
make the decisions Romance, Friday.
Saturday, quict. Tomorrow a jolt!

2 LEO (July 24-Aug. 23)

Follow your heart's desire, Sunday,
Leo. Do as you please, Monday. Imagination
in high gear. A few misunderstandings at
home, mid-week. Keep radical ideas to your-
self, Thursday. Friday, you'may confront
another over their behavior. They may not
listen! If going away, Saturday, make it an
early start,

VIRGO (Aug. 24-Sept. 23)

Much activity, Sunday, Virgo. You
get things done, Let imagination lead the -
way, early week, Depend less on logic. Avoid
arguments, Wednesday. Thursday, lead with
your heart, not your critical side, You are
quite selective, Friday. Saturday, look toward
the future,

f= LIBRA (Sept. 24-Oct. 23)
Early week, Libra, consider a

change. Monday and Tuesday, lively. You

are stirred to action. Get things. done.
Balance, Wednesday. Thursday, you want to
mend fences between two friends. Don’t go
too: far! Pick .a,lucky number, Friday.
Saturday, you are more popular,

SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov, 22)

Early week, Scorpio, avoid over-
spending. Listen to advice, Tuesday.
Wednesday, put your ideas to test of practi-
cality. You're on the right track in a personal
matter, Thursday, You see clearly, Friday.
But, Saturday, communications can break
down. Make sure you get your point across.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dee. 21)

Energies high, Sunday, Sagittarius.
Slow down a bit, Monday. Tuesday, sit back
and let things happen. Demonstrate compas-
sion and undersiznding to a family member,
Wednesday. Thursday, you may. overspend.
More interested in play than in work, Friday.
Saturday, create some excitement.
® CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 20)

Give yourself.« break, Sunday,
Capricorn. Re-evaluate close personal rela-

“tionships, Monday. Let others make deci-

sions, Tuesday. Their judgment better. Your
motives are questioned, mid-week. Thursday,
moody, You might procrastinate, Friday.

. Overboard on spending, Saturday.

YAY AQUARIUS (Jan. 2-Feb. 19),

Early week, Aquarius, choose
words carefully when speaking of emotions.
Closer to someone at work, Tuesday, The
more you try to help, mid-week, the more the
resistance. Time to stop, Financiat clarity,
Friday. Work through some issues with your
love, Saturday.

s€ PISCES (Feb. 20-March 20)

Lazy day, Sunday, Pisces. Early
week, be more assertive. Wednesday, mixed
up feelings. Chouse to follow logic. Make
time for fun, Thursday. Stretch your imagina-
tion in new directions. Saturday, give careful
thought to words and actions. Be confident.

Rebert Aiken is an internationally
known astrologer, metaphysician, therapeu-
tic counsellor and workshop leader with 35
years experience. He offers empowering

- psychologically and metaphysically oriented

counselling sessions, as well as thorough,
in-depth astrological readings. Contact
Carole: 929-4049, L