The naggin AH, MRS. Parton, if it were only so simple. Catherine . Sf only we gals, as you advised us in your Nov. 9 Vancouver Sun - column, could just give up _ feminism and turn our energies to finding Mr. Right. Find Mr. Right, pamper and - value him, and we'll find the path to true equality, you tell us. .It appears Nicole Parton has had it with feminism, which she believes has identified the wrong enemy. “The enemy isn’t men. The ‘enemy is us,’’ she writes. ‘“Too many of us sacrificed femininity by declaring ourselves staunchly feminist.”* It's not just Mrs. Parton who offers this exquisitely simple assessment of what is wrong with - feminism. You can bet if the topic is raised at a social gathering, : someone will espouse the relax- girls-and-give-it-a-rest_ schoo! of thought. So, since Mrs. Parton is not alone in her views, let’s look at her arguments. The enemy tells is us, she women. The women stuck in non- unionized, pink-ghetto jobs and have the audacity to ask for more. The women fighting landmark legal cases to get equal pay for work of equal value. The women working to have the right to make their own reproduc- » tive choices. They are the enemy because many of them happen to be staunchly ferninist. “Women could start by knock- ing the chip off their padded shoulders,’’ Mrs. Parton says. That’s funny, | know women in all walks of life — many of them feminists — and not one conforms to the pad/chip model. Most just INSIGHT ie a coo BECOMING A FEMINIST. AT THE EXPENSE OF , (FEMININITY Yose want an even break. Mrs. Parton questions whether the trade-offs women have had to make to get ahead in traditionally — male-dominated territories are worh the effort. She sympathizes with the for- lysoniething womun who has suc- ceeded in business but has no partnership prospects in sigh:, This woman is not only lonely and unfulfilled, she’s a threat. “As some mien sec it, women threaten not only their jobs, but their traditional breadwinner status. No wonder hostilities fester."’ Many women know there are men who are threatened by women moving into their job ter- Friday, November 22;:1991— North Shore News - 7 ritory. But is the answer to declare one sex the enemy? Surely a better way is dialogue. . Starting a constructive dialogue involving men and women won't atways help the most angry men, or women, overcome their fears and resentment, but surely we have to try to finprove our under- standing of each other. In Mrs. Parton's world, it’s women who musi change — by getting back to that duplex, bun- galow or apartment. ‘*Tomorrow’s status symbo! will be the woman who stays at home,’ she tells us confidently. if we extend Mrs. Parton’s arguments to their logical conclu- sion, then all the women who are problem of ‘Mr. Right’ aspiring to careers in medicine, law, welding, engineering, poiice work and politics should forget about it and get ousy fcoking fo: Mr. Right. Tell all the women who have struggled to put themselves through university, tell all the women who know they’d make rouen wives and mothers to ‘move forward — to the past,”’ as Parton puts it. Mrs. Parton’s arguments raise that persistent stereotype that a woman couldn’t be feminine and a feminist at the same time. Gee, I know a lot of women who rejoice in being a nurturing and loving wife and .mother (and receiving that nurturing and loving from men) and also work for women’s sights. There's also an_ interesting assumption in Nicole Parton's arguments that most men out there want the little wife waiting at the door for them with a big kiss and a pan of brownies. Um not entirely convinced most - men do crave that scene (and [ know some who would prefer to be baking the brownies). And even if they do want a woman who will stay at home and brush up on her pampering skills, a lot of men know that with an uncer- tain economy and the cost of liv- ing these days, the family simply can’t afford a return to the °SOs. They're downright relieved that their wives have earning power. Tinally, there’s this nagging problem about Mr. Right. You see, Mrs. Parton didn’t advise all the foncly, for- tysomething women where to find him. Just where is Mr. Right? Maybe he's wandered .off a ski trail at Cypress? Sitsing on a log on some beach? Composing per- sonal ads at his kitchen table? Do- ing his Christmas shopping . at Park Royal? Unnatural habitats cruel Whale research is vital and degrading to. animals Dear Editor: I am writing regarding the Vancouver Aquarium’s request for public input, in particular, about the dolphins and whales (called whales from here on). Many people are saying they like to see the whales in real _ Hfe, up close and inexpensively. Particularly that their children enjoy it. I have visited the aquarium many times and was at one time a member. | enjoyed ail the exhibits and the gift shop and the educational informa- tion. Occasionally I felt sorry for the whales in such small pools and feli it an improve- ment when a larger one was built. Now that I have seen many nature shows, been scuba div- ing and have taken a marine identification course and have come in contact with animal rights groups who promote the interests of the aquarium animals, | can see things more from the animals’ point of view. The whales’ existence is simi- lar to me spending the rest of my life in my living room with air conditioning. It would soon feel cramped and boring. The atmosphere would be tolerable and not very healthy in the long term and nothing like the real world. Would I want this life for myself or my children? Why should the whales be any different? An example of physical symptoms of an unnatural habitat are the bent dorsal fins which I have never seen in the wild. Whether it is a harmless symptom is perhaps debatable, that it is abnormal is not. From my visits to the aquarium and inexpensively in the wild from San Juan and BC Ferries, I realize these animals, like our pets, have relationships, feelings and are very worthy of respect. You don’t need to be a marine biologist or zoologist to be aware of this; in fact, it seems ahindrance. _ iy is extremely self-cenired of us and our children to get a few hours’ amusement and education from the suffering of others, Some feel that animals are ours to abuse as we in our wisdom (7) see fit. One would hope that aquarium staff are animal care professionals and not marine exhibitors and as such would educate the public as to what is best for animals and by example to do what is best for animals. A_ responsible role for the aquarium would be to serve as a care facility for injured animals, to promote habitat and wildlife conservation and an awareness of the animals’ point of view, and to help pro- tect endangered species instead of incarcerating animals. My concern is not only for the whales, but also for trop- ical fish which are the only survivors of the many who are captured and transported. Also, for the indigenous animals such as the sea pen which are plucked from the sea to be briefly displayed, and, unable to adequately relocate, ie. I must say I learned more from a TV show ‘‘The Emerald Sea’? about how our local creatures really live than I ever did at the aquarium. Seeing them in an aquarium is not seeing them as they really are or how they live. It is a cruel and degrading exhibit by an animal that has been cruel! long enough to have learned better. Glenys M. Stuart North Vancouver Dear Editor: In your Wednesday, Oct. 16 Mailbox you printed a letter sub- mitted by Lee Watson of North Vancouver, 1 represent a member of the public who is of the opinion that the research of whale behavior is not only significant, but vital. Certainly, viewing in captivity quells the interest of idle curiosity seekers. But far more important is the educational! component the whales can offer to the hundreds of young people who flock to the aquarium each year. For many of these youth, even what Lee Watson interprets as an “‘inexpensive’’ whale-watching trip, is realistically impossible. We must also keep in mind that it is not only residents of Western Canada who visit the Vancouver Aquarium, but residents of the in- terior, as well as peoples from other countries. For these visitors, viewing whales in the wild is not possible. The aquarium can pro- N. Shore News LETTERS TO the editor must in- clude your name, written legibly, your full address and telephone number. Due to space contraints the vide a guided educational experi- ence, piquing their interest, in- creasing their awareness and awakening their understanding of the necessity to protect our marine mammals. These youth represent future business leaders, scientists and citizens who will have the power to make socially responsible decisions about the future of our environment. ; Rather than putting forth any argument, I would encourage Watson to visit the aquarium and talk with the interpreters and staff who care for the whales. And since protection of marine mammals is very important to Watson, volunteering as. an educator at the aquarium wouid be a wonderful way to communi- cate these concerns. For the more we know, the more we understand. The more we understand, the more we will con- serve, Diane Seely Nerth Vancouver Mailbox policy North Shore News cannot publish all letters. Published letters may be edited for brevity, clarity, ac- curacy,legality and taste. Letters can be faxed to 985-3227.