Hews photo by Siz eT

WEST VANCOUVER. District authorities are concerned about an
increase in the number of dumplings — a medieval practice
stesped in secrecy — taking place on district-owned property. The
above sign Is a waming to would-be dumplers to stay away.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

Same old, same old

By A.P. MeCredie

Weird News Compiler

Todd W.. Bariteau, 32, of Troy,
.New York, pleaded guilty to robb-
ing,, for the second time, a store
‘. called) Deja Vu. In the second
‘robbery, he broke through ithe
same window and stole some of
the ‘same kinds of merchandise

that he had stolen in the earlier.

o theft.’

The Pryor, Oklahoma Daily
Times reporizd that autopsies on a
minnow and_a flea, which the city
used to test the. quality,‘ of
discharge from its waste-treatment
plant, might cost the city between
'. $160,000 to $200,000. Tests are
required by state and federal gov-
ermments to ascertain whether the
minnow. and the. flea died from
_ Natural’ causes or froma problem
_ With the discharge.

Michael Wrightman, 30,. pleaded
guilty in Toronto’ recently to
beating David Marlatt io death
over an’ argument. The subject?

Who had the longer criminal re-

cord,

In a response to a complaint from

‘students, a 37-year-old, substitute
teacher: in St. Louis; Missouri
admitted to authorities that he
had indeed held an 11-year-old
boy out of a fourth-floor window
to punish him for having spilled
the teacher’s coffee, but said ‘the
whole thing was a joke

aeg

Nurnber of portraits of Zsa Zsa
Gabor on display in her own
home: 15,

Police in El! Cerrito, California
have been seeking Aaron Levall
Harris on’ suspicion of assault in
_January after two gunmen fled a

crime scene. At the scene was @
artificial eyeball with Harris’
name on, it, which police say

-might have fallen out during the

escape. (No word if Harris was
toid ‘‘to keep an eye out for any-
thing suspicious.’’) An unrelated
story. out of Jerusalem: reports
that. a 50-year-old man_ resisting
arrest, when cornered by police,
took out his bogus orb and threw
it at them.

. Price of a two-ounce bottle of
’ Starclone, a cologne made from

the sweat of Sammy’ Kershaw, a
country singer: US$19.95.

In December, 1992, Hoover

marked a first by shipping canister
vacuum cleaners to the former
Soviet Union. The first shipment
was ear marked for employees at
a huge refinery. The workers were
given the Hoover cleaners in lieu
of paycheques.

In March, weaithy art school
director Rupert Hodson, ending a
hotel stay in Lille, France but fin-
ding himself. momentarily short of
cash to pay the bill, left the keys
to his Bentley as collateral while
he took a taxi to a bank to get
money. When the bank couldn't
get his money quickly, the taxi
driver forced Hodson into the car
and took him to the police sta-
tion. Furious, Hodson later
returned to the hotel and attemp-
ted to buy it so he could fire the
manager who had forced him to
produce the cash in the first place.
After his buyout bid was unsuc-
cessful, Hodson calmly drove the
Bentley throughs the front door of
the hotel’s restaurant, causing
$7,500 in damage.

Estimated amount by which the
salary of an executive over six feet
tall will exceed that of one under
5°5°": $4,200, or $600 an inch.

e’re actually gearing
up for Lynn Valley Day, May 29.
But from May 12 to 26, we're giving
away money! Sort of. Starting May 12,
very time you makea minimum —
$10.00 purchase at e Lynn Valley Centre
store, you'll receive 10 Lynn Valley
Loonies. And there’s no Loony limit
- you spend $200.00, you get 200 Lynn
Valley Loonies -- and so on, until
you're rich with Loonycy.
Then, on May 26, you bring all your
Loonies to Lynn Valley Certre and use
them to buy all the great merchandise
we're auctioning off at great prices!
‘Great idea huh?
So come along and help us, and
Biliy Ray-Coon, gear up for our big
celebration - and save money ©
while you're at it!