T FESTYLES Try to work out problems before going to BOTH MY husband and I are 65 years old and admit- tedly have been growing apart for at least the last five years for reasons that 1 have never been able to un- derstand. HUGH STARK KIRSTIE MACLISE I can appreciate that he has had a great deal of pressure on him from both bis work and his recent retirement. The retirement was foreed. i believe he would have kept work- ing until the day he died. © I do feel that he has displaced the anger he feels towards his employer onto me. : Our marriage lasted for 40 : years. Other than approximately a 12-year period when I stayed home to look after our two children, I was employed full time. I am now retired and have been so since I was 60. Other than both ef us having pensions from our company and Canada Pension, we have managed to accumulate very little. ; We live in a very nice apartment building, close to the water in West Vancouver, where we moved after our fast child lef home. The proceeds from the sale of the home were used for a variety of things, not the jeast of which was a program of quite extensive travel as my husband and I both had several weeks’ holidays each year. Since retiring, my husbend has worked as a consultant for the same industry in which he work- ed. He has been paid informally and has not declared the income. 1 do know that he does not de- posit all of the money into the bank. We have used the extra money to continue to five at a _ similar lifestyle to which we en- joyed while scill employed. ' In a moment of anger when I tried to discuss the finances of our separation with him, he said he no longer was going to work as a consultant and that | could not prove that he ever did. He told me that I was going to have to five on my pension just as he was going to live on his pen- sion. Unfortunately, my pension only yields me approximateiy 50% of his pension. What should I de? From your description of the problem, the first thing you should do, if you have not already done so, is to attend on your fam- ily doctor and gain a referral to a psychologist or a psychiatrist who may be able to deal with your marriage problems. Particularly, she/he may be able to treat your husband for his anger and frustration or refer him to somebody who can. After 40 years of marriage, you certainly: do not want to give up easily. Even though your children have, no doubt, long ago reached their independence and possibly married, the thought of your mar- tiage breakup will have a devastating effect on the family relationships far beyond that which your husband may think. As to your husband taking cash for his consultancy work and not reporting it, you are faced with a relatively difficult situation. When parties file their state- ments of property and financial information in a court proceeding, it includes a list showing expenses ona monthly basis. - Your husband will probably file a monthly expense list far ex- ceeding his declared income. You, no doubt, will be able to use that mistake to corroborate your evidence on your husband’s undisclosed income. As well, it may be possible to subpoena some of his clientele who may advise the court of the amount that he has been paid for assisting them. . Your attack, then, should be two-pronged if reconciliation at- tempts fail, You should claim maintenance for yourself based on his disclosed and undisclosed income and, in the alternative, you may claim an interest in his pension, pursuant to the Family Relations Act. The pension is a defined family asset and subject to equal divi- sion. The difficulty that you may experience is that both pensions, yours and his, have now crystallized. There have been cases that Stated that once the pension crystallizes, it no longer is a fami- ly asset to be divided equally, but is income to be included when calculating maintenance payable by one spouse to the other spouse. As to the furnishings of your apartment, that is something, as well, that you may claim, pur- suant to Part 3 of the Family Relations Act. The questions and answers given in this column are for gen- eral information only. If you have matrimonial prob- lems you should seek legal advice So that your adviser can fully assess your particular cir- cumstances and give you the best advice, Questions about family law and estates can be directed to Stark & MacLise,’ Barristers & Solicitors, c/o Family Affairs, North Shore News, 1139 Lonsdale Avenue, North Vancouver, B.C., VW7M 2H4, DREAM WINDOWS SEMINAR TRANSFORM DRAPERIES FROM DULL BACKDROPS TO SHOWSTOPPING FOCAL POINTS DISCOVER: ° Professional Methods for Amateur Sewers * Fundamental Construction of Window Treatments * The Latest & Hottest Styles in the Window Fashion Industry * Fabulous Fakes!! Super Easy, Super Chic Toppers, incl. "Fake" Padded Valances * Innovative Products, Brackets, & Gadyets to create stunning treatments with instant results: * Sponge Paint Venetians, Fabric Inserts in Verticals * No special equipment; free foilow-up help * Exciting Doorprizes! 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