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42 ~- Sunday, February 3, 1991 - North Shore News

Cleaning lady incensed
over robbery innuendo

DEAR MISS MANNERS
— I clean houses. I don’t
work for a service; I clean
on my own. I have for five
years.

Many a time someone I have
worked for cails me to ask where
something is. They always find it.
I guess what I am getting at is
that a lot of people misplace
things, and when they do find
them, do you think they even say
“I'm sorry”?

Most people who clean other
people’s homes for a living can’t
afford to steal. It could cost them
their jobs.

i jast hac to get this off my
chest.

GENTLE READER — Miss
Manners will be your best ally in
fiercely challenging any employer
who slurs your honer by hinting
that you may have stolen some-
thing that is missing. The impulse
to blame someone else for one’s
own lapses is rampant, but decen-
cy forbids it.

However, Miss Manners would
also like to point out to you that
“‘misplacing things’’ is not neces-
sarily a euphemism. Lots of peo-
ple do misplace things. (Time out
while Miss Manners finds her
glasses, so she can continue this.)

Asking help from a_ house
cleaner — who would have been
going over the house quite
thoroughly — is not an unreason-
able idea. What a person who
asks then owes you is not an
apology but an expression of
thanks.

DEAR MISS MANNERS — On
a home answering machine, is it
necessary to include an apology?
For example, would it be acccpt-
able to say: ‘Hello. We are un-
able to answer the phone at this
time; however, you may wish to
leave a message’’?

For office use, must one do
anything other than state one’s
tame and indicate that a message
may be left? e.g.: ‘‘This is -----.
Please leave a message.”’

Now that most people are fa-

YMCA offers
workshop

THE WEST Vancouver YMCA
will be hosting a workshop on
Sexuality and Communication
presented by Dr. Georgia Nemetz
on Feb. 5 from 7:30 to 9:30 p.m.
at 1735 Inglewood Ave.

Dr. Georgia Nemetz is currently
Chief of Psychology at the Royal
Columbian Hospital, a post which
she has held for seven years.

Nemetz is directly responsible
for the administration and devel-
opment of psychological services
for the hospital.

Services in this position include
program development,
psychological and neurop-
sychological assessment, staff
education, employee assistance
services, in-patient and out-patient
behavior therapy programs and
development of organizational
behavior programs.

Nemetz plays an important role
in hospital education where she
-egularly gives workshops on
stress management, communica-
tions and probiem solving.

She also maintains a_ large
private practice dealing primarily
with marital, communication,
sexual and stress issues.

For more information of the
Sexuality and Communications
workshops contact the YMCA at
926-5541.

Judith
Martin

MISS MANNERS

miliar with these devices, it would
seem polite to subject the caller to
as brief a message as possible.
(We will not even discuss the in-
dignities involved in having to
wait through a message that not
only is long but also is an ill-fated
attempt at humor.)

GENTLE READER — Miss
Manners is all for telephone brevi-
ty, especially at the expense of
wit. How grateful she is that you
understand that answering
machines should never be used to
audition comedy routines.

It is true that everyone now
knows to wait for the beep before
attempting to leave a message on
a machine. So let us agree that the
instructions may be omitted.

But Miss Manners does not
grudge the two seconds it takes to
be polite. A simple ‘‘We are
sorry,’’ before the part about not
being able to answer the telephone
now, doesn’t take all that long.

Note that this is coming from
someone who has been telling you
for years that there is nothing im-
polite about not taking calls —
that on the contrary, it is impolite
to expect people to be always on
cal} to everyone.

Most names are chosen
because the parents like the
sound of the name, not realizing
that it creates one’s degree of in-
telligence, personality, desires
and environment.

Although the above names do
create some good qualities, these
are far outweighed hy their limita-
tions. Briefly, these names create
technical, mechanical, and scien-
tific capabilities. The individuals
are systematic, self-willed, patient,
independent, and hard workers.
They are “straight-to-the-point” in
speech, lack imagination, and
have limited musical and artistic
ability. If the surname is very
musical then what they could
develop would be technically
good, but not artistically ex-
pressive.

People with these names are
very fussy over details and lack
versatility. They cannot visualize,
are skeptical, and it is difficult to
appeal to them through sympathy.

They are headstrong and often
domineering, learning through ex-
perience rather than analysis.
Parents find them very difficult to
discipline. They are not fond of
socializing and find it difficult to
express their inner feelings.

Physical weaknesses appear in
the digestive system in a variety

[WHAT'S IN YOUR NAME?

The quality of your life is in your name!
DAVID « LINDA « LEE
TRACY « RYAN « STEVEN

Nevertheless, one should be del-
icately regretful that anyone else
was inconvenienced by one’s own
— legitimate — convenience.

DEAR MISS MANNERS —
My parents divorced after almost
30 years of marriage, and my fa-
ther remarried. My mother handl-
ed this pretty gracefully, and
everyone has been on good terms
for the 10 years since.

However, my father died a few
days ago, and my mother was not
mentioned in the obituary or dur-
ing the service.

I realize that mention of a
former spouse would be awkward,
but I am sure it was painful for
my mother to be ignored for her
part in his life. Is this mention
strictly forbidden, or is there a
socially acceptable way to extend
formal condolences to a grieving
ex-wife or ex-husband, especially
during the funeral service?

GENTLE READER — AI
though society recognizes only one
spouse at a time, and a gentleman

has therefore only one widow, 225%

Miss Manners would not say that
etiquette has gone so far as to
forbid the mention of a former
wife at a funeral service or to bar
her from receiving condolences.
And obituaries, being news items,
usually do run through the
deceased’s marital history.

To the best of Miss Manners’
knowledge, etiquette simply hasn’t
dealt with the question you men-
tion, because there was little call
for it. The grief of ex-spouses is
apt to be complicated at best. and
is considered secondary to the: of
current spouses.

However, if you actually have a
case in which it is positively
known that the widow would not
be hurt by a reference in the
eulogy to the deceased's years
with his first wife. etiquette will
not step in and object.

That lady’s own friends and
relations will best know if she is in
need of cenaolences, and should
offer thm to her privately.

of ways — sometimes with
growths. Tension in the senses of
the head can result in weak eyes,
mastoid troubles, sinus problems,
early loss of hair, and headaches.

if DAVID is mostly called DAVE
he will show some different
qualities, being much more ver-
satile and quick-minded, although
some of the legal name qualities
would still prevail.

One is affected by every
nickname and the surname used
so a more complete name
analysis is required to give the full
nature of a person.

Phone the KABALARIAN
PHILOSOPHY, 736-2875, 8:30 to
4:30 weekdays and find out what
is in your name, and what is more
important, how you can change
the qualities you don't like! There
is no charge for a brief analysis.

A free public presentation
will be held Tues., Feb. 5 at 7:30
p.m., 5812 Oak St. at 43rd Ave.
This is a golden opportunity that
should not be missed! You owe it
to yourself to learn how to take
charge of your life by finding the
Natural expression of your inner
nature, talents, and a clear direc-
tion for your ufe.

Discover what the amazing
Law of Name Anaiysis can do for
you!

LIFESTYLES

Guoee

INTERIORS

We’ve been making homes
beautiful for 30 years

Lower overhead, Lower prices

Call for free in-home consultation

929-3277. °——""_ 929-3277

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