neo Menem ne Ae warn? Sen “Samo net: fa wht int a mY as te ae one Reread a es
ee LE prot A ER EE Oe eG a Te ets Sioes
~

a page 26, May. 10, 1978 -

§~ North Shore News Lp: ee tas oo

The ‘proprietor | ‘of. ‘these
here little . stories’. must.
confess: to ‘an -absence’ of
almost three’ weeks, during
which he was completely :
stoned!

\Jadies apparel Ltd.

_ aid....Rodmey. ‘says, OF
came home. stiff taday-” 2

. Iti is ‘an » ailment common to
-many writers and I must
further confess that some of
the better stories have been

spurred from mediocrity into
little: gems that satisfy the
démon that sits on a writer’s —
‘shoulder and demands: per-:
fection....a demand that has.
been often satisfied with a -

“as hell. ‘won me “be ‘bothered ;

generous: dollop or three of "

watering can by Tagus of

Bee Portugal will make quick

“work of plant watering and
look great on display too.

S11

Cozy Kitchen

1544 Lonsdale
North Van

985-2361

we SP ta
RS
OE: ek

wie a
‘

Sete *, +

Just in time for SPRING
LE CULOTTIER
3 tuck jeans & cords

are here!

Westlynn Mall, North Vancouver
‘TsawwassonTown Centre AAall

acti ty

t

“ eh,
CC
amed nasa a ae toy

ANS |

985-2517
9 43-4655

SN

with fleas for quite a while. Hilton. “Still - ussin?. and. Street Alcatraz. It bores the
‘grape squeezin ‘sh’ hollerin’. " Backsi e. resemib- ~ hell out of me;: so“I: put on.
a So. hand on tight! Here we . les, pin-cushion. ‘Ask ‘Doctor . shoes, socks and. ‘jacket. and |.
we Such is the. irony: of Fate _ go, in chronological .order if he is using: ‘Brand X, becus - wobble down the main draga |
that. I~ have: ‘now. -been ©: (which will probably: be the what he’s using isn "t working 7 few. blocks and back. oF
instructed. -by. the attending > only - orderly thing: in. this. worth a slamn Wena a
surgeon that a ‘recurrence ‘ : accounting _ of’ chaos. ‘from . a Feels. “good!” ‘Trouble | is,
might be avoided’ by. ‘a__which_ the hospital staff is | Doc: ses he. has ‘pumped somebody finds out and hell |.
generous intake of liquid -- at still | gently twitching)... . enough morphine into'me to . breaks loose! Seems like the ‘| _
-least-a quart daily. I didn’t: . knock out.a dinosaur. Tell .. Mother Superior takes a. {j_
“have the heart to point’ out. sees him. dinosaurs «and. -politi- mighty dim view of such | .
that the 30-gallon pot which a - ghuns- have one thing - in _ shenanigans: Too bad it was. |)
bubbles omerrily in my 2 AM., Apr sit 11th; Awake common: __ their | thinkin’ . OV Bill and: not  Hardhat
basement each September, | with. a.-helluva . bellyache.. machinery: only. ‘works in Johnson. He would have
when the wild blackberries Wife | runs around in circles, second gear at best, while _ invited her down to the
hang by the miilions from then. phones taxi. Ol’ Bill . writers think, even while -
their vines, would satisfy his holds gut and hollers. bloody asleep. If they don’t, they CONTINUED ON PAGE 27
modest requirement and still. murder, including words. not. _ starve. Oo Oo
leave quite a few gallons in’ used since Granddad’s prime .
reserve. _ batch of cider went haywire, -, eee |
. ‘back in °27. Littel Dog 7 So
b- And now, having © figgers I'm being attacked by End of Week Gne: Find | : | es '
. thoroughly confused every- invisible spirits and charges out about TOGETHERNESS! Ce ar) aoe
one, I must admit that the about madly, trying to figger | Questioned hourly by nurses, et ee .- 8
foregoing tongue-in-cheek who in heii I’m battling with, - ~enquiring how OUR water is EA BA gm in +: _ \ ‘5 ; -
preamble involves being while I’m: rolling. around the -and:.did WE have a BM. Bw OT ° er < rly special | oar, a
stoned with the common floor. cussin’ a blue: streak. | Dammit, it’s: MY water and — 1 xo 3
kidney variety, at the unGod-_ MY BM! Besides, my bottom | coe MITE Ye off- d ly 2
ly hour of 2 A.M., some three . Pm 1 ‘not too. ‘sure, . myself, _ has been punctured so full of rs ays on y™ May 11, 12 & oe
weeks past...:and is at the y but. . Pm _feminded “of . holes for the Demerol needle — mipemem eee a5
specific request. of the Napoleon and. Josephine on ~~ that. Ihave to clasp it firmly, © SHIRTS PANTS: ° BLOUSES @ T-SHIRTS ° SWEATERS» :
wonderful nurses on the 6th . their wedding night. Helluva ~ lest 7 ‘squirt.a few. C.C.’s oe iz
Floor of the Bed-Pan Hilton, time te think of Napoleon, elsewhere than the tin pot, Fe
otherwise known as North but at a Cent-and- a-haif.a wherefrom they strike a mt
Vancouver’s. Lion’s. Gate . word, I figger folks’ might.b be. tenuous : balance between .
Hospital. interested: ‘income and outgo.
In addition, it may help the Seems like Josephine’s With the dedication they . /
traumatic tremors. of Dr. little dog watched the silken display, those gals should be Po . “ am ° don’t be. late e .
Longpre who removed the coverlets tossin’ arount like a in the Guv’mint -- which has oe ’ - you’ve got a date
offending pebble with exper- barquentine with royal t’gal- a much larger problem in a . . t FEMINELLA ©
tise -- but is still recovering lants set and a spinnaker _ balancing i income and outgo! ae a
from his first encounter with snappin’ in a stiff breeze up to just bring her size
Ol’ Bill and The Back. Porch. front and sorta figgered Week comes to an. end,. fe you’ll realize
: _ Josephine was bein’ attack- none too soon. Pebble has ge that you were wise
With a yard of adhesive ed. So, bein’ a gallant little __ been X-rayed so many times, Ace shopping for her °
tape from gizzard to belly dog, he hopped under the as it wanders hither and yon © A F " ry
button I rather doubt this silk and satin and bit in my internal plumbing, that . at emine! ta r
; little story will be up to usual Napoleon on the’ royal my private parts now v glow in| ker a
standards....but you did ask bottom. the. dark. .
for a story, didn’t you?
Besides, one good turn. (NOTE: That paragraph Damn thing refuses to
deserves another, so I'll pass will pay me a buck and a __ budge via the normal route, ;
on a tip you might find quarter... a and will explain so Doctor Longpre resorts to
useful. why today’s students of stern measures and] end up _
history fail miserably under with a yard of hem-stitching | The store with the big selection
Remember those stitches the deluge of lukewarm that stretches from belly- |
of 20-pound trolling line you Pablum served up by the - button to second base. Westlynn Mall - N. Van. _Lansdowne Park - Rmd.
ee snipped out before you Department of Education . | —_
a turned me loose? Well, sir, Post-Op., Day Two: In 985-761 =) ae 273-3550 -
they itched to beat all hell, so adit structed. to walk for benefi- — oe :
I fixed ’em with the same . cial reasons, I plod grimly
stuff I use on the Littel Dog. 3:00 A.M., April Lith: In back and forth on the
Now I don’t itch....and Ishur Emergency at the Bed-Pan _ polished corridors of the 13th
noe ee SS ; wer oe
x7 his beautiful Copper ermal Vr a.