40 - Sunday, duly 19, 1992 ~ North Shore News LIFESTYLES Look for a cordial. solution ABOUT FIVE years ago, I separated from my wife. We entered into a separation agreement, which, vided for custody and access of our children. She got custody of the children and I got reascnable access. Family Affairs While she treats the children, now age seven and It, pretty well, she is not raising them in the way I would like to see them raised. This problem is particularly ap- parent in the type of activities in which the children are involved. She has my son, the seven- year-old, in nottery lecsons while f would like to see him exposed to some sports activities. He is quite well coordinaied and very infer- ested in all types of sports. She keeps taking my !1-year-old | daughter to piano lessons that my daughter dislikes and for which she has no talent. Other than piano lessons my daughter has no activities outside of fer school (nor does my son). I really think she could benefit from some group activities. My daughter has expressed to me on many occasions that she would like to take gymnastics, figure skating or tennis lessons. My life isn't really set up to take over custody of the children nor would my wife agree to that, but I would like to do something about this unsatisfactory situation. “From a practical perspective it would be best to first discuss the matter in detail with your former wife. Assuming she.is a single mother and working, it may well be that she simply does not have the iime to increase the extra- curricular activities of the children or take them to all the practices and games invalved with sports activities. If this is the case, you might be able to assist her in this regard. . Alternatively, she may be agreeable to varying your access to facilitate. the children attending the sorts of activities that you feel HUGH STARK KIRSTIE MACLISE they are interested in during your access periods. For example, dur- ing baseball season she might allow you additicna! access time on practice and game days when she cannot take your son to baseball. If these sorts of ar- rangements are possible you should also ensure that you main- tain some free access time with the children. My wife and I have recently separated. She has left the home and is presently living with some- one else. Our two children remain with me and in a!) likelihood. will continue to do so. Both my wife and myself are teachers with almost equai incomes. We wish to settle the matter of maintenance and would like some guidance as to tow the quantum of maintenance would be arrived at in a situation such as ours. In your situation where there are equal incomes, we would sug- in part, pro- gest that alf the normal expenses of the children be listed and a his- toric figure placed beside that ex- pense bearing in mind the activi- ties which the children enjoyed prior to the separation. You should not forget to allocate a percentage of housing, transporta- tion, food and holiday costs among other expenses (to the children. ' The exact percentage of those costs allocated to the children is always difficult, to assess. For housing costs, a conservative ap- proach might be to allocate 50% of the taxes, mortage and maintenance costs to the custodial parent and 25% of that cost to each child, You have not advised whether your children are teenagers or not. Assuming that they are between the ages of 10 and 19 years, one would expect that food costs: would be divided equally between each individual in the home as would holiday costs. We would suggest that transportation costs be allocated much as the housing costs. When discussing maintenance, if at all possible, the children’s standard of living and extra curricular activity “involve- ment should remain so that the impact of the separation is minimized. The questions and answers given in this column are for gen- eral information only. If you have matrimonial prob- lems you should seek legal advice to that your advisor can assess your particular circumstances and give you the best advice. Questions about family law and estates can be directed to Stark & ‘MacLise c/o Family Affairs, North Shore News, 1139. Lonsdale. Ave., North Vancouver V7M 2H4. Are you a specialized physician who can offer medical advice, @ or new to the North Shore and building a medical practice? @ Then we have the best vehicle to get the word out. “Ask Your Physician” is a new directory running in the North Shore News in the last Sunday issue of each month starting July 26th. Each month a different participating physician will have the opportunity to target North Shore residents and give advice in the form of a question and answer. Don't miss this chance to heighten awareness of your practice and areas of specialization. Deadiine for July 26th “Ask Your Physician” is July 21. For More Information Call Arlene Anderson 985-2131 north. ‘Shore sunoay erry * FRIDAY See | Dining out with family should be fun, not expensive, so when you order any lunch or dinner entree at the Max. two children per adult, age 12 and under only “ Meal times are special, ' Let’s keep them that way.” RESTAURANT PATIO NOW OPEN the coach house fy 700 LILLOOET RD. 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