Ess ete TAREE MEE MEP YES Page, Hammary 14, 1979- ~Sunday News | Free ance Counsellor Hayden’ Stewart may be reached: at 261-6242 tor appointments for individual, family or group counselling. : : His new office: in ihe Plaza International Hotel [open Tuesdays only) is for the convenience of North Shore - residents. What the doctor didn’t order QUESTION: you’d like to hear this story. I’ve had an illness that has plagued me with irritating symptoms. The other day I went to my doctor for a check-up. He asked me if I had taken any other medicine besides his prescriptions. I told him no. Then he said, ‘“*‘Are you sure you have not done something besides what I told you?”’ I said ‘‘No, except my father and I are trying to live according,to the Love Princi- ples and we’re having a great time doing it.°’ The doctor knew that my dad’and I have | been at each other’s throats for a couple of years now; but he didn’t know anything about the Love Principles. Then he sald, ‘‘You see, your original trouble, the ‘ cause of your symptoms, has cleared away; bat usually it takes quite a while for the symptoms to leave. How- ever, your symptoms have left you far ahead of schedule. What are these Love Principles?’’ Well, I told him about the one that has helped my dad and me so much, about recelving people exactly where they are. The doctor laughed and sald, “I'll have to try that myself, but I won’ prescribe It in my practice, of course.’ Again, we laughed over the odd consultation we had just had and he aaid, “Whatever works, works!”’ | thought you'd like to know. STEWART: | rejoice with you over your , experience. Thanks for sharing it with our readers. Just thought | Question: My girl has just . recently started using cocaine. Already. she was: quite a heavy drinker and— she smokes pot everyday. I do a little social drinking and once in a while’ I smoke dope, but F'm just not in her league at all. .Now comes this coke _ habit. It isn't really a habit — “yet, but is sure could be very soon. My philosophy is, “to each his own”, so: what she does is her own 1 business. But really it ‘isn’t just her problem..As long as we're going together it's my problem too and I don’t know what I can do about it. She seems to WANT to get drunk and I've had to take her home more than once. The. coke thing really bothers me. For to add that to heavy drinking is scary. What should I do? Should I just split? Should I try to help her? She's really a QUESTION: Who in the world is Nick Fitt? All I can tell you for a clue is that my son and his friends ..talk about him as though he is someone important to them. ’ | mean they say things like, “Dad, we're going out for a while, Nick Fitt wants us. We'll be back soon.” They. come back as they bang out of me not knowing who Nick Fitt is. They really enjoy my ignorance. Id like to have a little fun with them too by finding out who this said and seem to get a big wonderful person . but she | "Just seems to want to stuff a lot of booze or dope ‘Into herself. She calls - getting” drank having an ofl-change and she . calls coke sniffing adding a new dimension. I just don't know what to do about her. STEWART: I find it difficult to answer without knowing more about. you two. How old are you? Are you simply good friends or is there some sort of commitment responsibility beyond the ones we humans all have for one another? Depending on where you are in your. - relationship, my answer to you might be one or other of | two or three suggestions. From the wording of your letter I am guessing that you are in your early or mid- twenties and that you are simply rather special friends. If that is the case, you owe it to yourself to understand Who is Nick Nick is and pretending I've known all along. The kids are really giving me a ride. Can you come to my rescue? + STEWART: I hate to spoil their fun by answering you but I think they'll get a- charge out of your writing to this column. Nick Fitt has a sister Mari Fitt and a lot of the kids these days have got acquainted with them. Some kids just TALK big about knowing them, while others are really very well acquainted. ~ Parents won't let go QUESTION: I love my parents dearly, but boy oh boy 1 wish they’d let me learn to be Independent. | suppose they are scared for me because I’m pretty young for woman who owns her own business. They helped me get started and now they act almost as if I should do everything they say, because they gave me the start. I still owe them a little on their original loan, but that should not give them the right to check every decision _ Wm confronted with. Pm glad they are within reach so I can ask their advice when I need to do so, but I hate them hovering around. [t's a wonder they don’t sing “We stand on guard for thee." What can I do? $4.00. An evening with Hayden --- speaking on the Principles of Living at 7:30 p.m., Sunday, January 21, ballroom of the International Plaza Hotel, Capilano at Marine Drive, North Vancouver, followed by discussion. Suggested donation STEWART: Carry on as well as you can until you get that loan cleared away. Then come to them with a well thought-out plan that com- ° bines good sense about the business, and your ideas for putting your independence on a firmer basis. Thell them this is the way you are heading, but that you want to feel free to consult with them if you ever get in a hairy spot. Let them know that what you dearly want is to be able to make a good go of things on your own, but you want to be able to bank on them in the pinch. If they see the sense in your plan, great! iM they don't, do it anyway, the most loving way possible. But do it! im the or - - “that i in n sticking with her you ‘are heading toward a very heavy chore. .. Can you let her know that you see a lot in her and that you like her very much and would like to pursue your ‘relationship, but you are not about to sit still for a long drawn out series of crises with her? ‘Let her know that the thought of it scares you. - Tell her you are splitting for six months while she gets her head together, without your help. Tell her you WANT her to doit and you'd © QUESTION: i'm: we and working at.a very prosaic job that [ve been trained: for: Three other girls’ ‘work. with . * me. Two of them ‘seem perfectly satisfied and the e: fourth. fs bored Sly just B like : lam. . What I'd really like to be doing is painting and writing’ poetry. I am quite creative . © and don't feel cut out for the. - work Fm doing. I -really - years, but during that: should do my thing, don't :. you think? Trouble—is,T've. making i it ‘your life’s joy. anc work. te may. take you a ‘don't wait around ‘ ‘conditions are right” love to get with it again later got to keep working so I can your, -creativity. . BE “the if she wants to find her own afford to live. _ - change you want to.'sé strengths rather than booze happen here and now, by and dope. STEWART: It’s very hardto writing and ‘painting ‘in th bréak in to poetry and painting as a way of making a living. Perhaps you should move toward it in stages. hours you are not working And keep up your social lif as pure fun buf also.:; another contribution to yo creative urge. ; Be sure you don’t make it a putdown. Let her know that she, herself, appeals to you a lot, but as far as you * are concerned her “oil- changes” and “added dimensions” leave you cold. First, keep this job a while and get on with your poetry. and painting. See the job as | Be kind to. yourself. Don’t contributing to the end get hooked on “locking after results you want. (For ‘her’ for years to come. example, it can finance some Fitt? Enought of this cat and mouse thing; here’s your answer. Nick Fitt stands for nic fit, which stands for nicotine fit, which stands for a desire to have a smoke. Mari Fitt is really marijuana fit, etc., etc. No running. ..-. No walking. No exercise. No effort. Penalty —- . a shorter life. i No argument. QUESTIO N2 How d go about consulting with: Fitness is fun. you? Try some. Next lesson: They'll a a ee STEWART: Just. probably say, about me, 7] & phone, . 261-6242 . for-. ane “He’s an L.M.,” meaning = parnapacnon Be appointment. Loose Man, :meaning I talk too easily and too much. FACTORY CLEAR OUT SALE SPINDLES for 3 WEEKS ONLY. THIS SALE ENDS JAN. 31st. HRS. 9 a.m. - 8 p.m. 7 Days a Week Which tupe suits wvur home? Are you renovating your home or planning on replacing your wrought-iron rail- ing? Come see uS today. We have a_ large selection of hemlock spindle & stair parts. OPEN STAIRWAY (32°) and 36° spindle “I CAP WALL STAIRWAY C32" spindles) Attention! Residents of the North Shoré For the first time the famous Kelsco Spindie Sale is now available at a convenient location. Stop tn on your way to or from work. THIS SALE OF HIGH QUALITY FACTORY SECONDS ALLOWS YOU TO SELECT AND SAVE: ALL STOCK MUST GO BY JAN.3)st. Shop now for best selection Builders and Contractors come and see us, let's make a deal on volume. KELSCO Stairparts Ltd. 888- 660 Denman St. 3 8-114) Denman at Alberni ;