C10 - Sunday News, January 31, 1982

Learning how to shift gears

QUESTION: A combination

shower or a meal or some-

snapping oat of it. hook it up again until you
of two things is making me _ thing. So instead of getting How can I shift gears? 've are really happy about doing
feel very depressed and started J sit down and watch really tried awfully hard. it? That would take away
something of a fool. First Pll TV by the hour! Pve never from you at least one thing
tell you what the two things watched mach TV, but these STEWART: I'd have to

are and how I feel about
myself and then ask you ff
you have any ideas about
how I can change the
situation.

The first thing is that |

days, rll sit down to see one
show before I get started on
my work and them Ill stay
and stay. To make it worse, I
am not interested in what

know a lot more than you've
told me in order to give you
any sort of adequate answer.
Meanwhile, seeing the old
TV is figuring prominently in

that you are doing instead of
doing what you really want
to do - your work.
Your comment
effect that you have “really
tried awfully hard” suggests

I'm seeing and all through it your unhappy dilemma, let's another possibility. Give up
have got away hehind with a — am thinking about my work = stick with it for a moment. trying. Quit! Tel! yourself
lot of work I simply must do. and how important it is for

It i really very important
that I do what I must do and
do it well and soon. The
second thing is that it seems
impossible for me to get at it.
I just pat it off and talk to

me to get at it.

How do I feel about it? I
feel ashamed and angry and
depressed and even scared.
(What if I keep on like this?)

Why not watch it even more,
or unplug it? Already it has
got you angry enough to
ALMOST do. something
about it. Take it in even
bigger doses until it sickens

you are absolutely NOT
going to do any of your work
until you feel like it. Then
trust your best self. You'll
come through all right just
any minute now - or perhaps

1 also feel foolish. Pm scared you into an escape into your tomorrow. Believe it!
myself about doing ita2sscon to death someone whe work. Or, alternatively, why Meanwhile, relax. Quit
as this or that happens or knows me finds out | am so not unplug it right now and trying. Have a little fun.
when I've had a rest or a damned helpless about agree with yourself not to You'll get going.

It’s not

QUESTION: My mom and
dad gut divorced two years
ago and I am living with
mom. She's neat and Fm o.k.
« with her but I miss my dad

because he’s neat too. I am
11 years old. I go to visit with
my dad every second week-
end after school & come
back Monday. I like being
with him except I don't like
his girl-friend very much.
She doesn't like me much
either I can tell. My dad ts
sort of funny though because
he’s always asking me
everything about mom. And
he keeps telling me that
when he was married to
mom everything was great
and he was always happy and
she spoiled everything and it
was her fault chat we are not
all living together and they
are divorced. I don’t know
whether he & right or not.
Mom never says

mean about him at all. I sare
don't like ft when he blames
her for everything and all
that. Do you think I coald
try to get them to get back

easy in

think you could try. You
could tell each of them that
you'd like it if they were
back together again but I
think it would be best if you

didn’t tell them that a whole
lot of times. Just let them
know how you fee! about it
and then leave it to them. 1
think it would be all right for
you to tell your dad some-
thing else too. Do you feel
like you could let him know
that you really love him a lot

proper

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thinking of home
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talk to us about your ideas. With
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and that you love your mom
too and that it makes you sad
when he says mean things
about her or blames her for
so much? I believe he would

B ask hayden stewart

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
for appointments for individual. family or group counselling.

listen to you carefully if you
said something like that to
him. And perhaps he would
try not to say things like that
as much. He may not even
know he is talking like that
to you. It is a very very hard
thing to be divorced and
both your mom and dad are

| & gi

LTD.

probably trying their best.
Meanwhile, seeing you are
with your mom most of the
time, be sure to make things
as happy as you can for
yourself and for her.

to. the.

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