ask hayden stewart

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
for appointments for individual. family or group counselling His new
office in the International Plaza Hotel (Open Tuesdays only) is for the
convenience of North Shore residents.

The ‘need’ for drugs

QUESTION: I have a theory
about drugs that has not
been talked or written about
very much, at least not to my
knowledge. I thought I'd like
to have you print it and
make your own comments
about it. I suppose some
drugs are harmful in
themselves. But my theory is
that the physically harmful
aspects of the drugs are not
really as harmful as they are
often made out to be and
that the real harm to a
person in using Valium or
Cocaine or even Pot is not
mainly chemical, but
something else all together.
The harm to a person's life ts
because he is the sort of
person who WANTS the
drug, or even NEEDS It. The
barm lies in wanting or
needing the drug instead of
wanting what's needed to get
you so you don't want it. I
had it pretty clear in my
mind until I started writing it
down. I hope you get what I
mean. A good doctor may be
doing a wise thing when with
certain people he prescribes
Valium. But I think he is no
longer a good doctor ff he
does not help that person
discover what to do to get
him to where he does not

Why do runaways run?

QUESTION: Why do fifteen

year olds run away from
home?

STEWART:
believe it, but about three
weeks ago, I asked some
friends who ought to be
pretty good at answering
that question, if they would
make up a short list of an-
swers, just giving me two or
three reasons cach. When
their answers come in, I'm

You won't

NEED the Valium.

In other words, feeling a
continuing need to be on
Valium (or pot or whatever)
is the thing that causes the
most harm, not just the drug
itself. As you can guess, 'm
a rank amateur, although I
have had the experience of
being on Valium and getting
off it. What do you think of
my idea?

STEWART: I guess you are
saying that the sort of drugs
you mame, are, at best,
something to use INSTEAD
of something better. I'll go
along with that. I find myself
peeved at doctors for not
doing more to help their
patients find “something
better”. And yet, I feel sorry
for them too because, at
least some of them, feel they
are not adequately prepared
to help their patients find
“something better”, or, they
simply do not have the time
to get into that field of
doctoring because of the
large demands on their time
in doing a thousand and one
other kinds of things for
their patients.

I think I may have quoted
Dr. Richard Alpert on this
subject a few weeks back.

going to share them with the
readers of this column.
True, cach teenager is
unique, and each will have
his own reasons for running
away, but it will be useful to

ponder over the reasons
experts consider to be the
most common. Perhaps

many of our readers are
experts (spelled, p-a-r-c-n-t-
8). Tell us what you know
about the question — or the
answors. We'd like to hear
from you.

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He says, (and this is from
memory and therefore will
probably not be word for
word) that some drugs may
be instrumental in showing
us the place (we want to be
in life) but they'll not get us
to that place. And, further,
he says, some drugs may be
valuable in revealing our
opportunities to us, but they
do not make us into the
opportunities. Apart from
their physical or chemical
value or harmfulness, many
drugs, obviously, are sub-
stitutes for something else.
And insofar as we come to
rely on substitutes, or just
enjoy substitutes, rather
than unearthing and utilizing «
more reliable resources for
good health and useful
enjoyable living, then, of
course, we are cheating
ourselves. And, that, as Lily
Tomlin would say, is the
truth. Thanks for your
theory. And, by the way,
keep in mind that I, like you,
am also an amateur.
especially in the medical

field, and am very grateful
that there are so many in
that field who are utterly

as
they

dedicated to being
“professional” as
possibly can.

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C3-Sunday News, June 22, 1980

Your own best friend

QUESTION: I guess I am my
own worst enemy. I've never
heard of anyone who puts
themselves down like I do.
Mind you, I have good
reason to. I don’t like my
height or my weight or my
shape. You don't have to
believe it, but often I ac-
tually make faces at myself
in the mirror. What I want to
know fs how I can go about
making a great big change. I
know it is not healthy to be
putting yourself down all the
time, so how do I get over it?
I feel pretty hopeless about
myself, but I would like to

make one big try at learning
to like myself.

STEWART: Right off the
bat, resign the dubious
honour of being your own
worst enemy. Abdicate!
Quit! You don't need an
enemy. That’s a job you've
been filling with dedication.
But when you quit, you will
not be without a job — you'll
have another that is waiting
to be filled. Appoint yourself
as YOUR OWN BEST
FRIEND! In your new job,
there'll be no more self-
criticism. Give yourself lots
of support and love. When
you forget, and start putting
yourself down, stop dead in
your tracks and apologize to
yourself and make friends
again. It will take some
practice, but any new job
takes some getting used (to.
Obviously, this is not the
whole answer, but it is a

suggested starting point.
Perhaps we can have a talk
about it sometime.
Meanwhile, don't say ANY-

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