CB - Wedmesday, December 24, 1980 - North Shore News

Wife has lost

QUESTION:

My problem ts how to live
with someone you love bat
don't enjoy. My wife -
especially in the last three
years or so doesn't seem to
have any feelings what-
soever. I don’t mean that in a
sexual way, although, that
too. She doesn't have any
opinions or interests that she
ts enthusiastic about. She
doesn’t seem to have any
likes or dislikes. She's that
way about me and our family
(her relatives and mine) and
other people as well as about
our family life “program”
and things that other people
do to add to the enjoyment
of their lives. She's always
saying, “It doesn’t matter to
me.” She says that if 1 ask
her if she'd like to go to
McDonalds or to the
Vancouver Hotel for dinner
- it’s just, “whatever you
say”. She has no leanings
one way or the other. | don’t
think she even gets hungry.

She eats because it’s lunch
time or whatever. | can’t tell
if she likes or dislikes making
love or going for a walk or
watching TV or going to
church or anything. I love
her, bat for all 1 know she
hates me, although she never
does anything to make me
think she hztes me - or loves
me for that matter. I asked
her about a month ago if she”
loves me and she said
something like, “certainly |
do - why do you think I
married you?” She could
have said, “I told you I loved
you 17 years ago, have you

forgotten?” There was no
feeling in it at all. As I say, |
love her, but I don't know
what's the matter. What can
I do?

STEWART:

Don't discount the
possibility that she has some
sort of physical condition
that has contributed to her
change during the last three
years. Get her to a good
doctor for a very thorough
physical check-up. Either go
with her or have a talk with,
the doctor before her ap-
pointment. He may find a
medical reason for her

her feelings

ask hayden stewart

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242
for appointments for individual, family or group counselling. His
office in the International Plaza Hotel (Open Tuesdays only) is for the
convenience of North Shore residents.

condition, or he may want to
refer her to a psychiatrist or
counsellor.

Meanwhile, see if you can
talk with her, not about how
she is behaving, but about
your difficulues in relaung
with her rewardmgly. Let
her know that you = are
hungry for enjoyment with
her and that you are having a
very difficult time and need
her help in working things
out so there will be more fun
and pleasure in your home.
Decide to get counselling
help for yourself and let her
know you are doing that.

Crying the weatherman bloopers

QUESTION:

If there were some way of
suing the weatherman for
malpractice, [Fm sure I
would take immediate
actidn. They call themselves
professional and they are
proved wrong time and time
again. I can understand
them being wrong, but what
bothers me is the way they
act like they know what they
are talking about when time
and again they miss out

entirely and then blithely do
it again the next day. Any
such incompetence bothers
me terribly. 1 terribly get
lathered up about them
claiming to be adequate in
their work and then con-
tinually blowing it. This is
one of the things that the
apathetic public seems quite
willing to put up with, but I
am not. I don't know what
can be done, but at least |
am voicing my disapproval.

NIGHT SCHOOL NOTES

Will you give some support
to my complaints through
your column comments?

STEWART:

I havent the = shghtest
interest either in the
weatherman’'s bloopers. or in
your efforts to be a
nghteously indignant cry-
baby. No, that 1s not quite
right. As a matter of fact I
am grateful for all the laughs
I get out of weather reports

For the more advanced potte

By now you should have
seen the nev schure. If
you haven't, and want to.
phone 985-8741 and ask for
one, or be told where you
can get one. You probably
know, anyhow, that Jan 19
1s the beginning of the winter
sessions

If you feel

you ve
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going further, you'll be glad
to hear that there will be an
intermediate course olfered
This is the me to learn to do
that exqutsite glaze you saw
someone cise do and pincd
to be able to do yourself

For something
different, why not learn
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Can you

really

imagine anything
more truly designed to battle
inflavon? only for
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woods Some of thase weeds
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ICs) not

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Year

But before that. the time
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the
Christmases

most pleasant of

with = pood

food good fun) and a bit of
time here and there to stop
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that go wrong. and | imagine
Tl get a few laughs out of
your letter once I've got over
trying to answer it. Yep. the
laughs are coming already'
You've got to admit it is
something of a scream for a
full grown man (or are you a
woman’) being “lathered
up” over a weather report
Perhaps you were being
funny all the (me. If so,
forgive me for replying as
though you were real.

us

A 40
quality
architectural  &
items is now on our floor for
sale
open
Dec

merchandise

The guilt has

QUESTION: The other day
I did a thing on the spur of
the moment that [ve always
thought. was wrong. I have
not felt one solitary pang of
regret or guilt, except to
feel, once or twice that I
SHOULD feel guilty. What's
happened?

STEWART: Perhaps you
have found release from an
habitual inhibition that no
longer serves a purpose for

gone away

you. You may have
discovered you may com-
fortably turn your back on
some old wives’ tale that is
not, after all, as
authoritative as you have
been assuming. Or
perhaps you have deserted a
long-time conviction = that
may sul be important to you
although it does not seem to
be nght now. You will know.
Listen to your higher self
with respect and trust.

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