THE LOS Angeles Times reported in July that engineer Walt Netschert has invented a smokers’ hat with a facial apparatus that he says com- pletely filters the noxious elements out of cigarette smoke before it is released into the air. A filtering locker, which is about six inches square by three inches high, straps to the smoker's fore- head and cleanses the smoke. A clear plastic shield drops down in front of his face to trap the smoke, which is then drawn up into the fil- ter. ; Netschert, who has smoked for 40 years because cigarettes calm his -=nerves and who calls nonsmokers “FAFs”, or Fresh Air Freaks, hopes to sell the Hints for $79. 95. According to U.S. Department of Justice figures, 30,000 inmate lawsuits were filed last year (added to heavy backlogs — more than 28,000 in New: York alone) against prison’ Officials for “civil rights” violations. the vast majority described by judges and court officials as frivolous. Among the lawsuits were those by prisoners com- plaining: that the prison canteen supplied creamy peanut butter when’ a _prisoner wanted crunchy; that guards wouldn’ trefrigerate his ice cream snack so that he could eat it later ($1 million lawsuit); that’ his toilet seat was too cold; that, as an inmate-paralegal in the prison law library; he should make the same wage that lawyers ‘ make; that prisons should offer salad bars ($129 mil- lion); that a limit‘on the number of Kool-Aid refills is “cruel and unusual punishment”; and that the scrambled eggs were cooked too hard. HOBNOB INN ‘Ina quiet moment of reflection it occurred to Sydney that some - Other person must have received his fifteen minutes of fame. DAGNEY EXCUSE ME, BUT ARENT YoU De: WOoDHORSE THE FAMOUS CAT TRAINERS a Yes TAM,’ Have Youy SEEN MY CABLE SHOW “MASTERING THE OUT OF CONTROL. CAT” LEADBELLIES © Thomas Burton ‘HEY FRANK, REMEMBER T SAID THAT iF I COULD BE YOUR BEST FRIEND I WOULD INTRODUCE You D A GIRL FRIEND OF MINEF WELL, Guess WHAT?.. I LIED, _ Ite NOTA GIRL! Fesmomom’ Cormeen Compiled by A.P. McCredie In New York, 20% of the entire budget. of the Attorney General's office is spent on prisoner lawsuits. Janet S. Robinson filed a lawsuit in Roanoke, Virginia, in April, ask- ing $100,000 in damages for an ankle injury she suffered when hit by a truck, The truck was a remote-con-_ trolled toy truck operated by another customer at the Kay-Bee Toys store at Valley View Mall. Robinson called her injury “serious” and the -consequences of the accident “pain, humiliation, aggravation and dis- ability.” Durham, North Carolina — Former police officer Bernard Bagley filed a lawsuit in July against the police depart- ment, asking $3 million. Bagley is serving two life sentences for shooting his wife co death with his service revolver, and now says the department should not have issued him a gun, since he was suffering from anxiety attacks. in August. comedian Jackie Mason told reporters he had filed a $25 million lawsuit against the five theatrical groups responsible the Tony awards because they had failed to nominate him in any category. He claimed that the lack of recognition for his one- man show “Jackie Mason: Politically Incorrect,” was “an abridgment of my rights as a human. being.” “RY CAT ANP | WAT T ALL THE TIME... © Roy Delgado ° SL MUERTE a eID AMIE SARE I PATA OCS HEBER When you receive our Christmas Appeal letter this year, share what you can. Return your donation in the envelope provided to The Salvation Army, 611-198 West Hastings Street, Vancouver, B.C. V6B 1H2. This Christmas, so many are counting on you to remember. ..the envelope, please. SUPPORT THE ‘CHRISTMAS. . - APPEAL cr tte rE at Victoria’s world-class hotel on the Inner Harbour: ONE NIGHT. | |SUPER SPECIAL 7 nights a week Guaranteed water view single/double occupancy single/double occupancy S449 Valid for leisure travel only © Excludes groups/tours Taxes not included © Subject to availability a Through Dec. 23, 1994 beiuind we OCEAN POINTE RESORT ON THe nA A 8 oO ks. 45 SONGHEES ROAD, VICTORIA, B.C. V9A 673. TEL: (604) 360-5859 FAX: (€34)360-1041 RESERVATIONS: 1-800-667-4677 Sale by Tender Q-828 1-'79 Ford C8000 Linetruck 1 - ‘89 Chev Celebrity Wagon ine Equipment) 3 -‘88 & 1 -'68 Dodge Asies Sedans 1+ ‘91 Dodge Spirit Sedan « ‘85 Ford Econoline Van 1- ‘90 Ford Taurus Sedan, Dual Fuel 1 - ‘87 Ford Econoline Van, Raised 7 - 86 Plymouth Roo! . i- 90 Ford F350 Cab & Chassis, 4x4 i‘: 78 GMC 12' Cube Service Van : (No Equipment) - 1-'80 GMC Aluminum Body | ; 12. "BG to ‘01 Chev S10 Blazers, 4x4- Walkin Van . ae 5 - 87 to ‘89 Chev Blazers, 4x4 -'82 GMC Vandura Van 7 4-83 to 90 Chav Suburbans, 4x4 -'84 GMC Pickup, Power Taligate . : 10- 83 to ‘80 Chav Pickupa, 4x4 1 ‘85 GMC Suburban 7 "88 10°89 Chev Vendura Vans —3.-.'81 1089 Inf $1909 Unetracks . (No Eg . J 4-'86 to ‘89 Chav Pickups uiprnant} 3 - ‘89 Chev Suburbans = 82 Inti S1700 Fisiideck with Ans Crna 1 - ‘88 Chev 1 Ton Flatdeck, 424 4 - ‘89 Chav Cab & Chassis ~ ‘83 Int'l F9370 Sth Wheel Tractor (Not Running) - ‘65 A.B. Chance Hot Line Trailer 2 - ‘89 Chev ClubCab & Chassis, att ~'30 Read Runner 9' Utility Trailer + ‘84 Dodge Tradesman Vans 1 - Toyolo 5000Ib, Fortdift ‘. ‘8S & 1 - ‘89 Dodge Ram Minl Vans 3 - Linetruck Utilty Bodies 3-88 & 2 - ‘89 Dodge Caravans 1-77 Ford F600 Flatdeck with Hiab NOYE: VEHICLES ARE AIRCARE TESTED. Location: B.C. Hydro Disposal Yard, 1225 Inspection Dates and Times: Saturday, November 25, Sunday, November 27 and Monday, November 28, 1994, from 9:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. Mechanics will be available to start vehicles where required on Saturday and Sunday only, Sale is “as is, where is,” and subject to 5.C. Hydro Conditions of Sale. All tenders’ due in the office of Disposal Agent, 12345 - 88th Avenue, Surrey, B.C. V3W 529 by 3:00 p.m. on Navernber 28, 1994. Please quote Reference No. Q-823. BGhudro & seremmumesneryecten te rere ape emen te Wrraab aerate emanate Witte ter ane eas 1-GMC 1994 Pickup Box (New) 10 - Ford 1994 Pickup Boxes (New) 2251-88th Ave., Surrey, B.C.