a 48 - Sunday, December 18, 1988 — North Shore News LIFESTYLES WIFE #2 TAKES UMBRAGE AT tHiS PRACTICE x-wife keeps on giving DEAR MISS MANNERS — For Christmas my husband’s ex-wife gives iin: pajamas or other apparel, trendy coffee-table books and/or especiaily made-for-you food items. She also seiects the gifts that their teen-age children give my husband. lam ata loss abont how to res- pond to these gifts when they are opened in front of me. As he un- wraps the pajamas, I find it im- possible to say, ‘‘How kind of her to think of you,’ as any remark ! make would sound sarcastic, even if that was not my intention. She aiso selects what she is given by my husband. who says he is on- ly an order-teker, and he buys the gift for her. I take umbrage at this practice, as her choice is always jeweiry. GENTLE READER — Great as the trials may be of over- friendliness from forraer spouses, they are better than the alter- natives, Miss Manners must re- mind you. While the present ex- change may be a bit much, it is preferable to such Christmas hostilities as are often observed be- tween divorced people who cannot completely sever their connection because of their children. The gentleman is now your hus- band. Letting him receive or fill sz a - Year'y Eve Party. And hop ‘our new location.” 7 RESERVE NOW. . miss Manners Judith Martin orders for presents is not going to infringe on you. ff you think it does, you can always say, privately and affec- tionately: ‘“You know, the only tastes Christine and I have in common are you and jewelry. Would you mind awfully if I ex- changed the pajamas for you?’’ DEAR MISS MANNERS — This will be our son’s first Christmas. We are blessed with generous and well-intentioned rela- tives, some of whom are enamored te with us. our “best & iast Nex * Zz Ballrooms: he 2 Orchestras "AND PHONE FOR ‘RESERVATIONS ar. PORTABLE _ KEY. BOARDS “The North Shore’s leading keyboard centre. ” WESTVIEW SHOPPING CENTRE, N.VAN. “986: 6612 of guns. These same relatives are oblivious of many things, in- cluding strong opposition to war toys of any sort. We have always been polite and have reserved judgment on our nephews’ simu- lated warfare, the only indication of our feelings being our re- questing that such ‘‘games’’ be played in our yard and not in our home. While our 4-year-old daughter has never been the recipient of any new or discarded war toys, we suspect our son will be. How would you advise us to handle such a gift? It seems crass to make a formal announcement before the holidays, and we do not want 2 scene at the public exchange of gifts. It is equally loathsome to ac- cept such a gift and then discard it quietly, teaching our children hy- pocrisy at an early age. GENTLE READER — Hypoc- risy is exactly what children need to know at an early age. What if a relative gives your son a parent- approved present that he happens to hate? Would you not teach him to accept it graciously and then discard it quietly? However, this all seems a bit premature. Even the most bellicose relatives are unlikely to slip a gun into a cradle, so you should have plenty of neutral time — that is, so close to the holidays, when they might already have bought some- thing — to mention casually your ban against toy weaponry. DEAR MISS MANNERS — My aunt, who enjoys entertaining, hosts very nice six-hour dinner parties for the dozen or more of us who gather at the holidays. On more than a few occasions, her daughter’s ex-husband has been included in these 2{f{airs, apparent- ly quite comfortable in this enlightened day and age. I have recently remarried, and my aunt has been inviting me, my wife, my ex-wife and our two col- lege-student children, one of whora lives with my ex-wife, to her par- ties. This enlightened day and age notwithstanding, both my wife and I find it quite unpleasant being with my ex-wife, although everyone else seems comfortable with the situation. I have dropped some veiled hints, but they have not been picked up. These parties, which used to be so much fun, are the only opper- tunity I have to see some of the relatives. Whet should 1 @o? Are my wife and I being unreasonable? Should I bluntly state my case to my auni or (shudder!) to my ex- wife? See it Page 49 oa Nakamichi’s newest receiver, m@ the TA-1A High-Definition f Tuner Ampiifier. defines the virtues of simpicity. With 35 Watts per Channel, Discrete Power Stages, and Nakamichi's a sophisticated Mult! isolated- Ground Power Supplies, the TA- 1A Is a breakthrough in terms GF Nakamichi value. Only $595 Next, add the OMS-1A Compact Disc Player, Nakainichi's entry- level CD Player featuring 16 bit DIA Conversion and m™ 2X-Oversampling Digital im” Filtering with Sth-Order Active Analog Filter. 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