WITH THE world on the edge of war, it may seem trifling to complain about the Post Office, but it seems to me there is a slight parallel between Saddam Hussein's invasion of Kuwait and the fate of a couple of our Christmas presents. In both cases, it was smash and grab. We were pillaged. The dif- ference is that the Post Office is probably going to get away with it. 1 have had such nightmarish experiences with the Post Office so often in the past that I no longer use the regular mail for anything if I can avoid it. The invention of the fax machine has saved my sanity, to say nothing of sparing my editors an early death from ulcers. When it comes to sending documents or manuscripts that can’t be faxed, I hire a courier. Sending something special delivery to the U.S., I discovered, results in an average of a two- week delay before anything gets through. If there is a parcel to be sent, I normally send it air freight. Alas, come Christmas, there is so much to be sent that the usual systems for avoiding the postal horror show become more expen- sive than the gifts themselves. So, against our better instincts, my wife wrapped everything up and trundled it down to the Post Of- fice. To be sure — cr at least as sure as you can be when you are deal- ing with an outfit as chronically incompetent and lazy as the Post Office and its army of truculent featherbedders — she made sure that everything was posted by the beginning of December, well in advance of the Dec. 12 deadline. So what do we get back on Dec. 11? A massive form called Ap- plication for Indemnity or Service WEST VANCOUVER District Council got a pat on the back from Eagle Island residents Mon- day night for the extensive dock and float renovations that have been carried out on the island over the past two years. A letter received from Eagle Island Task Force chairman Den- nis Culver thanked the municipali- ty for the money, time and energy that went into the work. “This has been an interesting Adult Children of Alcoholics “Choosing Life” a 6 week education group starting in Feb. ‘91 Facilitator: Jan Spilman M.Ed, RCC. Certified Alcoholism Counsellor Delbrook Business Centre Delbrook Plaza, North Van. 986-1655 Registration closes Jan. 22 for Brochure call 4 — Sunday, January 13, 1991 ~ North Shore News Is it possible that the post office is being run by Saddam Hussein? WV Council Bob Hunter STRICTLY PERSONAL Enquiry, along with a torn shred of the wrapping from the main parcel we sent, containing two different gifts, one of them a $65 book, the other a 340 book. The cover letter read: “Dear Customer: The enclosed is part of the cover of an item cf mail which was found without contents in our processing system. ht is always a matter of concern to Canada Post Corporation when mail entrusted to our care is found without contents in our processing plants. “Should you wish to submit a claim concerning this matter, please complete the enclosed *Ap- plication for Indemnity’ form and return it with the enclosed cover or wrapper, along with this letter in the attached self-addressed, postage paid envelope. Your orig- inal postage receipt (insurance, COD, Registration, etc.) and an invoice or proof of value for the missing items will also be re- quired... ‘Please be assured that we are constantly striving to improve our Processing methods and to offer better service to our customers,” It was signed by Robert Letby, Manager/Gestionnaire. What this means, in plain English, is that somebody at the Post Office ripped off our two relatively expensive presents, and now the Post Office was demand- ing that we comply with all its bu- reaucratic little rules in order to be compensated. I looked at my wife wearily: **Do you happen to have the receipts for the books?’ ‘*Are you kidding?"’ she replied. ‘Do you know how many presents I bought? I also bought them over a period of several months, because I was going to be smart this year and not get caught doing all the shopping at the last minute. What's the point of keep- ing receipts on something you're not going to get a write-off on?” ‘*The original postage receipts?"* She shook her head. ‘*What the hell do they need that for any- way? The stamps are all on that piece of paper with the address.’’ “Insurance?” She rolled her eyes. ‘‘If we were going to pay for all that we might as well have sent them air cargo."* I tried to lure her into a bet. “PH bet you the price of the books — a hundred bucks roughly — that we don’t get a penny back from the Post Office.”’ She just laughed. So there it stands. By mid- January, neither of us had yet filled out the form with its dozens of niggling bilingual questions, such as: Has addressee denied receipt of mailing? Type of denial? Serial/Reference no. In- voice/Bill of sale. Oh yes, and buried deep in the form is the lovely little qualifier: Failure to provide the necessary documents to support your claim or enquiry may extend the time to finalize your application. One of us will get around to filling out the form. Is there any- body out there who is willing to place a bet on whether we'll get compensated for being robbed by the Post Office? In any event, I'll keep you, er, posted. applauded for dock work exercise in blending the resources of the municipality with those of Lambert, local residents,’’ Culver wrote. efforts of municipal staffers Barry Larry John Pollitt, Germscheid, Kevin Ramsay and He specifically applauded the Gordon McKay. EVENING CLASSES.-Starts Jam.24.- » INTRODUCTION TO FILMMAKING © PRODUCER'S WORKSHOP © TECHNICAL ASPECTS OF FILM © SPECIAL EFFECTS FOR FILM & TV ¢ DIRECTING FOR FILM © SCRIPT SUPERVISION/CONTINUITY © EDITING FOR FILM & VIDEO 3D COMPUTER ‘ANIMATION: © SCAIPTWRITING © SCRIPTWRITING WORKSHOP © ACTING WORKSHOP FOR FILM & TV @ THE ASSISTANT DIRECTOR ¢ ART DIRECTION ¢ MIDI PRODUCTION FOR FILM MUSIC © PRODUCTION | LOGATION MANAGER = FULL- TIME > : Using the most advanced technology available, students will create and generate , their own computef animations. This the onty course of it's kind in the Pacific Northwest. Full and part-tima classes available. 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