Page C6, July 4, 1979 - North Shore News

QUESTION: I simply HATE
waiting in line. 1 become
lividly furious when I ex-
_ perience, as I did the other

- day, being stalled ‘by traffic
in the miiddle of Lions’ Gate
Bridge.

I was overdue home, I had
a dinner in the oven that
needed attention right now,
my kids would be upset, my
husband would be worried,
but worst of all, there I sat,
without the slightest ounce

of a chance to resolve my.

problem, How does a mature
person talk himself into
handling an_ insoluble
problem like that? Now don't
tell me to perceive problems
as opportunities!

STEWART: Your letter
illustrates beautifully what
we were talking aboutin a
_- previous letter and-response.
It was easy for you to see
your experience as almost
pure tragedy. Right?

But look at it from another
angle too. Can you see
yourself as just one of
séveral hundred billion
human beings, who is
stranded for twelve minutes
right smack in the middle of
a few trillion years of history
and being furious about not
being able to hurry things up
in time to save a roast from
being well-done instead of
mediuny rare?

Here is this delightfully
human human being, angry
about her dinky share in

infinity. being thwarted for a-

few moments in such a way
that she is actually worried
about her roast and her kids
and her husband because she
feels responsible for pushing

them into what she considers —

a blunder in the life process
of/ the universe which has
thoughtlessly iet her down
and made her look like an
abysmal failure. -

So, at one and the same
time, you are playing a role
in the tragedy of the burnt
roast, while helpless on the
bridge, and, you are also
playing your role in the
unfolding of the history of
mankind, while you are

kicking and screaming and —

scratching at life about its

‘being insensitive to your .

wishes. Now there is a comic
tragedy or tragic comedy if
there ever was one.

I assume you will feel I
have not answered your
query. But there is the
possibility I have. The part
of the answer that concerns
itself with “what do I do now
in a situation like this?” has
not been touched.

The part that concerns
itself with “WHO am I now
in a situation like this and
what resources are available

to me?” has, at least been |

Specialists gets
minus scores

QUESTION: One of my pet
peeves is about “specialists”
who don't perform their
specialty well and then give
stupid excuses about their
faflures. What can you do?

give them a score of minus
three! "oe ot
The other experience jvas
at a branch of a well-known
pancake restaurant chain. I

Freelance Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at
261-6242 for appointments for individual,
counselling. His new office in the International Plaza Hotel (Open
Tuesdays only) is for the convenience of North Shore residents.

SIMPLE HATES

iting in line

family or group

toyed with. Perhaps it will be
most advantageous to you if
you do some exploring into
the latter and develop
perspective about you and
the bridge and the roast and
your life here and now and in
history.

QUESTION: My husband.
and I both agree that our
sexual relations are kind of
“ho-hum” a lot of the tine,
very disappointing some of
the time, and pretty un-
skilled all of the time. I must
admit, and he joins me in
this, we sometimes “see
stars”. Sometimes he does
and sometimes I do and once
in a long while we both do at
thesametime. —

I suspect in these matters

we are a lot like a whole

bunch of other couples, but
we are agreed that we'd like
to get some help in the
matter and not t just stay like
we are.

‘advantage of it

with their sex life

Now, the question is, how

‘do we go about finding out
.who we should see? Is there
- good help available

for
people like us?

STEWART: First off, you
can tell your. doctor you
would like specialized help
in the matter and ask him if
he can put his heart into
referring you to someone in
whom he has confidence. (If
this works out there is the
being
covered by your medical
scheme.) ,

A second way is to get’

yourselves referred to a
counsellor. (I would be
happy to give you some

iad

Welcome to a new
world of peauty

a

names to consider, including
my own!)

A third way, and perhaps
the best of all, is to watch for
the announcement. .of
courses on HUMAN
SEXUALITY that are rather

regularly offered by the

universities and colleges, by
some of the churches and
community centres, and by
the provincial government's
Ministry of Human

Resources.

Meanwhile - be grateful
that you and your husband
are working together on the
matter and that you both
want to do some growing in
this very important area of

your experiences together.

of a cold fried
— eee torent day: on °>
Bin co ne a ~ ae mens et pe ; , ;

ap
- which had
already } been emit twice
without results. Although I
phoned the right number to
report, I was put on hold
because “all our lines are

bacon and the waitress wrote
it down right on the order.)
Here are specialists in
pancakes, eggs and bacon,
scoring about minus 5 in
thelr specialty. What a mess!

busy” (at the telephone And what can you do?
* company!!!) and waited at

least ten minutes while they STEWART: Things are
played terrible recorded tough all over. One thing
music far too loud. you should do for sure is to

When I finally hrough make your complaint as high

n got t up in the pecking’ order as ham ’

they told me 10. phone yea an Ao Meny ca includes cut, s poo & styling

the operator and ask her
for another number to dial.

Well anyway, after being

avoid doing this because it
takes time and we don't want
tosound picky. But DO it!

Eatonreg. 60.00

AN !
switched from one member If no one says;a word, ‘ C) N ;
to another and being pet om such specialists are far more

hold twice more, was

finally informed that it was
after bowrs and the ser-
viceman would attend to ft
‘tomorrow. For specialists tn
telephonic commenication,

apt to go their merry way.
Let them know that they
have a fair, but a very
unhappy customer. If they
offer your moncy back, take
it for sure.

call today for your appointment:
” Beauty Salon, 922-3325
Eaton's Park Royal