26 - Sunday, July 12, 1992 - North Shore News

Elders offer legends of the ‘olden days’

IN JAPAN, we read, when the old folks are feeling ne-

glected they phone up the theatre agency and hire a tem-

porary family.

Everyone has a jolly time,
eating and sharing lifestyles, and
there are no lingering feelings of
if-I’d-a-done or if-you'd-a-been.

Here in North America we’re
Not quite so pragmatic, we tend
more to sentiment. We have the
same situation, of separated fami-
lies, separated by geography and
divorce and death _and_ sheer
pressure of daily life, but it suits
us better to volunteer rather than
hire out.

We've been doing it for years.

For all 19 years there’s been an
organization called ‘‘Volunteer
SERS
464 You just have to be

over 40 and be sweet

and clean — no police
record, no

communicable diseases,

and some respectable

citizen to name as a

"reference. 9F

Grandparents,’” a proper society
linked at conception to the
Children’s Aid, and properly in-
corporated and receiving most of
its funding from Victoria. .

The United Way helps it, too. It
exists for the particular benefit it
offers children, bound to profit
from a relationship with elders
who represent established security
plus legends of the ‘‘oJ?%n days.”*
Kids know they’re safe with these
old people, even that they’re being
indulged, and that authority is
taking a short holiday.

Because everyone knows from
earliest childhood that grand-
mothers and grandfathers are one
step removed from ‘‘do this,’’
“do that.’ They make things
nice, and expect you to do the
same, but they’re not into ‘‘it’s
time fer your piano practice,’’
“have you washed your neck?’’,
“is your homework done?"

’  They’ve had that.

It’s now their job to say ‘‘let’s

go to the beach,’’ or ‘‘how about
-some ice cream?’? and “been to
_ the circus lately?’’

Any one of us can do it, too. I
mean, you don’t have to pass a
test to be a volunteer grandparent,
you just have to be over 40 and be
sweet and clean — no police re-

and some respectable citizen to
name as a reference.

After basic inspection you meet
with a social worker who is armed
with a thick list of names of fami-
lies hoping to make a connection
with someone like you.

Right at this instant there are a
minimum 120 families hoping to
find a grampa and grandma, or
either, interested in a visit once a
week or once a month or every

day, that’s the volunteer’s deci-

sion.

There are that number of
link-ups already flourishing, and I
had the good fortune to talk with
one of these “pseudo-grand-
mothers.

Candace, we'll call her Candy
for short and sweet, is a woman
in her early 60s who knows she is
never going to have her own
grandchildren.

Her two mature sons are not in-
terested in a family dynasty. But
she’s one of those warm and live-
ly-minded women who feels she’s
wasting something, tove, maybe,
help, maybe, and her life has not
been so easy that she thinks there
is an overabundance of either of
those qualities floating around.

Perhaps especially noticeable ia
these one-parent times?

Her young ‘“‘grandson”’ calls her
*“Candy,’’ not “Gramma’’ or
‘‘Nana’’ (which’ she’d. really
prefer), because his people are
modem young intelligentsia from
Europe and prefer he face facts.

There is still in Czechoslovakia
a natural pair, you see. He’s just
a kid, 10 or thereabouts, a pretty
good age for such experience.

When 1 was teaching, I always
preferred this age, 10, 11, before
puberty, their minds galloping
ahead without the drag of hor-
monal interference.

This boy is just within the
society’s parameters, — you will
be offered children between three
and 12, the choice and concomi-
tant challenge are up to you.

Candy stressed that expense is
not a factor, from her experience.

There are bound to be occasional.

treats, of course, but the nature of
those is governed by your own
good sense plus the sort of rap-
port that develops.

Some people are fearful of be--

ing taken advantage of by assum-
ing this sort of detached guard-

cord, no communicable diseases, @

Important
Message to
Blocd Donors

RED CROSS BLOOD
DONOR CLINIC

LIONS GATE HOSPITAL
Medical Day Centre

Eleanor
Godley

THE VINTAGE YEARS

janship; of being conned into 2
relationship or financial responsi-
bility that they don’t anticipate
and don’t want. .

Such has not ever been
documented, and remember, there

GWEN MARTELL
Gwen Martelli, age 68, lost 42”
1S and is. feeling great!

Gwen says: “Toning did wonders
for me; 1 enjoy it, leave refreshed
and have a lot more energy. | feel |
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is always a third knowledgeable
party available in the person of
the social worker who brought
you together in the first place.

Because these children aren’t
cut-outs, or movie extras, there
are bound to be the odd tantrum
or other occasions for dismay.
Candy describes her own feelings
of helplessness when the boy early
on displayed a tendency to
withdraw completely when
thwarted.

He would lie on the floor and
shut out the world. She’s suffi-
ciently balanced to have refused to

| ANN
MARIE
SWEENEY

| BA, MSW, LLB.
BARRISTER & SOLICITOR

| 922-0131

be drawn, but she’s happy to say
it doesn’t happen any more, that,
in fact, there is a real respectful
exchange established between
them, and that they can show real
emotion to each other now.

This is over a couple of years,
mind.

She says, for her, one of the
greatest rewards is the refreshment
of seeing life and the world
through a child’s eyes again.
Maybe you’ve forgotten, too, that
thrilling simplicity.

It’s not just the kids who profit.
Call 736-8271.

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