A8 - Sunday, September 2, 1984 - North Shore News

on't quote me! timaibox

DK

T BEING MY AMBITION to amuse you as
much as possible right up to Sept. 4, here are
some of the election quotes that have tickled

my fancy:

‘*He let my husband hold
the bag.’’ — Geills Turner,
commenting on Pierre
Trudeau’s revenge, namely,
sticking John with the
patronage scandal.

‘**Let’s face it. There is no
whore like an old whore. If
I'd been in Bryce’s position
I'd have been right in there
with my nose in the public
trough like the rest of them.’’
— Bryan Mulroney, com-
menting on the Honorable
Mackasey’s many-splendored
appointments, emoluments
and stipends.

“I'm sorry I said that.’’ —
Brian Mulroney.

‘‘What right have you got
to sell us out to the socialists,
you crooked left-wing
Judas?’’ — Vancouver
heckler Steve Perli, to B.
Mulroney.

‘*They’re
Twins of Bay Street.’’ — Ed
Broadslush, being generous
about his opponents.

‘*The only poll we trust is
the Pope.’’ — Rhino Party
campaign statement,
delivered to news conference
in a pizza box.

‘*He’s a good-looking
dude, but he’s just with the
wrong party.’’ — A
fashionably dressed lady in a
Vancouver restaurant, after
having had her hand shaken
by John Turner.

‘I’m a hugger. I’m a tac-
tile politician. I’m slapping
people all over the place.
That’s my style.’” — John,
defending his play with
lona’s bum.

the Bobbsey -

**I’m sorry I did that.’’ —
John T., grovelling.

‘“*Turner’s tactics reach
bottoms.’’ — Headline in
The Province.

*‘Brian Mulroney is in
hiding from the people of
B.C. — Modest Jack
Webster, crying in his beer
over Mulroney’s refusal to be
interviewed.

get this

by
Doug Collins
eee

**The prime minister will,
indeed, run in Capilano.’’ —

Allan Fotheringham, the
well-known oracle, two days
before Turner announced he
would run in Quadra.

**} suppose if three-toed
bats were in vogue this year,
he would have chosen one of

ea

IF YOU THINK...

e Patronage is repulsive

those.’’ — Iona Camp, spit-
ting at Walter Mondale’s
choice of Geraldine Ferraro;
in between knocking on
doors in North-Van
Burnaby.

‘| don’t believe in abor-
tion, but I do believe there
should be a choice.’’ — Iona
again, getting in practice for
speaking out of both sides of
her mouth, a skill she may
not need.

*‘] was sent to survey Lake
Winnipeg to find out how we
can flush out the nest of
crows that keep buggering up
the freight. rates.’’ — Denis
Oullet, who is carrying the
Rhino banner in St.
Leonard-Anjou.

‘“‘Two thousand people a
month are leaving the pro-
vince of Manitoba.’’ — John
Turner in the first TV debate.

“I’m sorry I said that.’? —

John Turner, grovelling
again.

“Tax the rich!’’ — Ed
Broadslush.

“If I’m elected, I promise
to spend all my free time in
Ottawa.’’ Richard the Troll,
who leads the Rhino charge
in Capilano.

“*Everything | have on is 10
years old.”’ Vancouver
Centre Liberal candidate
Paul Manning, trying to cap-
ture the hippy vote from his
campaign headquarters, the
Soft Rock Cafe.

“Vm not worried about
Condominium Carter. You
can’t buy him but you can
rent him.’’ — Newfie John
Crosbie, commenting on his
Liberal opponent in St.
John’s West.

“If you vote for Walter
Carter, you have to mark
your ballot with two X’s —

e Private enterprise 1s our economy's be&t bet
° We need foreign investment
e You're being squeezed by minority groups

e The West is getting a raw deal from Ottawa
e Abortion on demand is wrong

e Immigration policy needs reform

ELECT BARRIE WALL

CAPILANO’S ONLY
INDEPENDENT

Honesty, Decency and Common Sense

Let’s be kind to Doug...!

Dear Editor:

I must rise to the defence
of Doug Collins, I’m surpris-
ed at the distress he’s
causing.

True, ‘he’s upset by im-
migrants, native Indians,
politicans, lady judges,
Liberals and Conservatives,
various religious organisa-
tions, Marxists, and
Easterners, it’s obvious that
his self-appointed agency is
representative of no one, so
why not let the poor man
prattle?

He’s simply a gentle old
man who’s’ exceeded the
legally permissible level of
hot drops down the leg, even
the militant lesbians seem to
trigger the process regularly,
so let’s be kind to the colum-
nist who writes for the
newspaper which reaches
everyone’s doorstep, like it or
not.

Let me say without com-
punction that his detractors
are no more than a bunch of
religiously aware  practi-
tioners of sex and very likely
have a long history of involv-
ing themselves in immigra-
tion and political awareness
activities, and that they fool
no one by being normal.

Peter du Plessis
North Vancouver

for double cross.’’ — Crosbie
at the‘bat again.

‘‘There are days when | ex-
amine my own sanity for
returning to  politics.”” —
Prime Minister (pro-tem)
John Turner.

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