30 - Sunday, August 12, 1990 - North Shore News LIFESTYLES ssons learned from | Smith family drama DEAR MISS) hiANNERS — For nearly 20 years I have enjoyed the friendship of a lovely couple 1 will cali the Smiths, as weil as hav- ing a long-standing rela- tionship with a Miss Jones. Miss Jones also lived with the Smiths some 10 years ago, when she was ‘‘be- tween jobs.”’ Later it became clear to me that Miss Jones and Mr. Smith were “involved.”’ a fact that) Mrs. Wilson, the wife of Miss Jones’ former boyfriend, confirmed. fn fact, over time, only Mrs. Smith did not observe their affectionate displays. A few years ago, the Smiths moved across the country. Only weeks ago, Miss Jones moved there, too. When I recently visited the Smiths, Mrs. Smith took me into her confidence, in a distraught state, to reveal that she had zecently discovered her husband’s involvement with a fellow pillar of the church. At the end of the sad story, she commented on my lack of surprise and, despite my vehe- ment protests, she dragged from me the aforementioned indiscre- Judith Martin MISS MANNERS tion involving Miss Jones. At the conclusion of or visit, Mrs. Smith invited me and Mrs. Wilsos to visit soon. Mrs. Smith aud her husband have since had words. Mr. Smith and Miss Jones have had words. Mrs. Smith anxiously awaits ker next meeting with Miss Ssacs, when they will andoubtedly have words. Immediately thereafter, 1 anti- cipate that Miss Jones will have words with me. And God only knows whether Mrs. Wilson will have words and with whom. Should Mrs. Wilson and € ac- cept Mrs. Smith's invitation to visit their lovely beack home? If not, Row should I phrase my regrets? And who skoald pay for these phone calis? GENTLE READER — Did you have to interrupt such an inicrest- ing saga just to ask etiquette ques- ons? And docs Miss Manners have to tell you how to decline the invitation, knowing thar this means she will never find out whar happened next? Ah, well, duty is duty. If you or Mrs. Wilson don’s like going to the beach, you needn't accept the Smith's invita- tions to their lovely beach home. But you needn't — in fact, you musin’t — say why. “*I’m so sorry I won't be able to go — thank you for asking me’ is quite enough, without an explanation that you have had cnough of this family’s complications. Anyone who wishes to have words with somcone not im- mediately present must pay for the telephone call. It is not correct to reverse the charges in order to have words, no matter how well- deserved the words 2re. Options for volunteers REACH OUT io your community by volunteering to share your skills and energy with an agency or individual. You can make a difference. The following is a sample of the many volunteer op- portunities available through North Shore Community Services. MALE chess player between 40-54 years is wanted to play a challenging game of chess with a man in his late 40s with a neurological problem. Volunteer should be a good chess player. Hours are flexible. GROUP facilitator with good listening and communications skills is wanted to facilitate a weekly self-help group for parents. The goals of the group are: preventing child abuse; pro- viding a safe, supportive en- vironment; feedback and building @ group network. Training is pro- vided on an ongoing basis starting in September. child development and positive child rearing practice will be helpful in filling this position. Hours are Mexible. SENSITIVE caring males over 19 years are wanted to be big brothers and establish one-to-one relationships with seven to 12- year-old boys. Volunteer will share mutually enjoyable activities and spend two to six hours per week with the boy. Orientation and information session offered every three weeks. Fraser Trucking and ‘Tractor a division of Sai, SEAVICES LTD BIG OR SMALL, WE DO IT ALL! Excavation, demolition, clearing. Residential and commercial. Excelient rates. 576-1299 682.8766 327-5611 (pager #1158) A knowledge of -§ = BOOKKEEPING /accounting background is needed for this position of bookkeeper for a community Arts Council. Duties include assisting with basic book- keeping and putting together a monthly statement. Orientation provided. Two houss per month. PROGRAM assistant is wanted to assist the programmers of a therapeutic work program and a social/recreational program for the mentally handicapped. If you are interested in social programs and deal well with mentally hand- icapped people vou will enjoy this position a great deal. Hours are 9 a.m. to S p.m. week days. Orien- tation provided. FRIENDLY bridge player to assist an instructor with teaching bridge to a large group of inter- ested seniors. Come and share your knowledge of bridge and have some fun too. Hours are Monday and Tuesday evenings from 7 to 9 p.m, every third week from September to the second weck in December. Hf you are interested in these or any other volunteer opportunities call Dru at 985-7138. North Shore Community Servieess is a par- ticipating member agency of the United Way. ME VE BUILT OUR REPUTATION | Patios and _ ON SOLID GROUND Pool D Decks yy “The Installation Special Highland Pavestone Products Ltd. 984-3237 ECONOMY PEST CONTROL LTD - Sablite/ Ristorante Italiano NOW OPEN FOR LUNCH We would like to thank all our valued customers by offering 25% OFF LUNCH or DINNER on food only — up to a party of six people Serving Mon.-Fri. 11:30 to 2:00 p.m. Every evening from 5:00 p.m. Expires August 31/90 — with coupon only 922-6282 1747 Marine Drive, West Vancouver “ALCOHOL * DRUG - CO-DEPENDENCY PROBLEM? HN doce EXPERIENCE INTENSIVE OUTPATIENT ENSIVE OUTPATIENT PROGRAM * Professional Substance Abuse Counsellors and Therapists * Strictly confidential Phone N. 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