vee

Larco should I

ISN’T it about time
that Larco got off the
pot and started
explaining to the citi-
zens of West Vancouver
just what it is the com-
pany intends to do
with its expansion
plans at Park Royal?

Vim really hoping that the
developer cares enough
about West Vancouverites,
who have shown overwhelm
ing opposition to their
expansion plans, to consider
other options tor the site.

As a West Van resident, a
mother who likes to shop at
said mall, and a golfer who
has used ‘the driving range
more than m golf: swing
would suggest, I feel my
input on the issue should
count.

In fact, ] have to wonder,
given the nature of the leases
that Larco is entertaining, if
they have asked any V
Van housewives what th v
would like to see in a newly
revamped mall. After all, the
West Van housewife is the
consummate shopper; s
should know what a mall like
Park Royal needs.

miaiit:

Cancer claims quest

Dear Editor:

T was very interested
Noel Wright’s (June 14) col-
umn “Cancer Cynicism can be
Healthy” as J have noticed a
growing suspicion regarding,
cancer research on the part of
many people.

Ten years ago, when
attending a function in
Vancouver, [ listened ro a man
who said “there will never be
a cure for cancer, There’s too
much money tied up in it.” At
the time I was horrified to
think that anyone could say
such a thing and mentally
labelled him as an oddball.

home

Yup, the more f think
about it, the more TF believe
that it is the West Van house:
wife who should be planning

lopment at Park

Over the vears T have
come to know the West Van
housewife intimately, in fact,
Ive even been her. Tf vou are
wondering who she is, here
are a few clues:

The West Van housewite
usually has blond streaks in
her hair, big diamond rings
on her fingers, large, firm
breasts despite childbearing,
a fit physique which is the
result of hours spent with a
handsome personal trainer,
and a wardrobe full of athlet
ic looking clothes.

The West Van housewite
lik ar athletic clothes
everywhere, especially to
Park Royal. The classic get-

However, I have the diary
of my grandfather written 150
y ago, which includes a
description of his wife’s cancer
in 1859 and of her death in
April 1860. The symptoms
and treatment (by surgery) all
sound sadly familiar, apart no
doubt from the — vastly
improved techniques and the
addition of chemotherapy
with its unpleasant — side
effects.

It’s strange that 150 years
later, in this age of enormous

in technology and

ple dying of cancer in what

up is the tennis skirt, under-

Neath which she wi

swish, billows ca

and matching jacket overtop

Tr locks bizarre, but the West

Van Housewife loves this

look, because it makes her

Teel at once sporty and stvl-

ish. Tt also makes her look
too busy te change her
after her morning

rnis match,

The West Van housewite
usually drives a Sport Utility
Vehicle, and the bigger, the
better. Suburbans are he:
favorite.

Even West Van
Housewives with only one or
nwo kids swear they need the
space these road hogs pre
vide.

They are not embarrassed
by the fet that they don’t
know how to park their giant
SUVs, because they preter
double parking as they run
into the Bread Garden to
pick up fresh scones for their
children’s breakfast or sume
exotic coftee for their after
noon hit.

West Van housewives
carry cell phones with them
everywhere they go. You see
them making important
phone aalls as they march

oned

seems to us, greater numbers
than ever before.

Noel Wright's analogy to
the tobacco industry and our
medical establishment's

usal to consider Dr. Di
Bella's claims, gives rise to fur-
ther doubts. We have all given
so generously in the past to
cancer research, but for the
first time T hesitated this year
when the volunteer came my
way to collect my annual con-
tribution. Perhaps it’s time for
us all to be more critical and
start asking questions.

Joyce M. Coomber
North Vancouver

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through the mall. or power
talking on the seawall. You
hear them yak . probably
to their hairdressers or the
broker husbands as vou wait
in tine at the bank.

West Van housewives dove
coll phones, because, for a
West Van housewite, ralking,
like shopping, isa tull-time
job

Now back to my idea of
having the West Van house
Wives input into the expan-
sion plans tor Park Roval.

Asa concerned citizen

rto help out, T have
taken it upon myself te per-
form a survey of what the
typical West Vancouver
housewife wants in terms of
redevelopment of her mall.
Here are the results:

First of all, torger Home
Depot. It's common know!l-
edge that no one in West
Var does any
work anywa
those nasty jobs out. [fit
hasn’t alreacy been aban-
doned the Home Depot
Jease should be axed in faver
of something more in keep-
ing with the perse.nality of
our community, like, say, a
Plastic Surgery Depot.

The West Van housewives
I spoke to say there are never
enough plastic surge
options, or qualified

clectve surg

Van housewile cosmetic

surgery is an essential ser-

vice) grow longer by the day.
Here’s another :

cel the Tovs R Us lease and

replace it with Boys R Us, a

. 21 Bomber
a sees :

ae

rr

Friday. July 31, 1998 ~ North Shore News — 7

big box outlet stocked with
the enormous gang, of reno-
vatien specialists West Van
housewives love to have
working around the house.

There could be a catwalk
in the Bovs R Us Store tor
potential renovators to show
their stuff, bike what chevy
wear on the job and how
they look when it gets s0
hot that they take off their
shirts.

Instead of PetS Mart,
which no humane West
housewile can possibly sup-
port no matter how cheap
the dog food might be, may
T suggest Mutual Fund Mar

West Van housewives with
money kicking around could
shop the enormous mutual

isten to WV housewives

fund market for rates, diversi-
tigation, and good looking
mutual fund salesmen all
under one roof.

In fact, 2 partnering
berween the Plastic Surgery
Depot and Murual Fund
Mart might well produce
some interesting cross mar-
keting opportunities

And bag the old car wash
at Park Royal. West Van
housewives have their vehi-
cles detailed, not just
washed.

Really, West Van house-

have a fot of good
advice to offer on the
subject of expansion at Park
Roval. I think Larco should
poll them for ideas. Don’t
vou?

“tl

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