Toughlove is a ‘sad’
commentary on parenting Rleader salutes service

Dear Editor:
I am writing in response to the
recent article on Toughlove.

It is a sad commentary on the

state of parenting that things have
gone so far as to require an at-
tempted solution such as the hard
line philosophy of Toughlove.
Anyone who has worked with ado-
lescents must realize that issuing an
ultimatum to behave is no solution
_ to an underlying problem.

As one of the developing tasks
of adolescence is individuation, it
is, at times, difficult as a parent to
relinquish some control in order to
let our children make decisions and
accept the consequences. When
our children know we love them

and trust them, misunderstandings
can be talked over before they
become major crises.

As a foster parent, I would like
to reply to the comments about
some Toughlove parents not being
happy with the foster-care system.

Yes, we give the children what
they want ~- and what they need:
someone to listen to them, to let
them know they are worthwhile as
people ‘in spite of what they’ve
done or had done to them; some-
one to see them through their
present crisis.

Surely a parent couldn’t ask for
more in the way of care for his/her
child?

Judy Ferris
North Vancouver

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7 - Friday, June 5, 1987 - North Shore News

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