ae

JAW-JAW, said Winston Churchill, is better than war-

war. But the old boy had it wrong. Or had never heard of

Indian land claims.

Take it from General Collins.
There are only two ways to settle
all this land claim hash. One is to
take arms against that sea of
troubles. The other is to become
Indians ourselves.

{ To become an Indian, all you
have to do is to learn those chants
} you hear on the telly every night.
Then fake a blood line and apply
} at the nearest Indian Affairs of-
fice. So far, legislation passed by
I the lunatics in Ottawa has enabled
23,000 Indians who were never In-
dians before to apply, and they're
being accepted at the rate of 100a

day.

It's a bit like being baptized in
the Funny-Mentalist religion. One
moment you’re doomed, the next

you're saved. (‘God bless you,
brother.’’) But becoming an in-
dian is better because you then get
a free ride on practically

} everything: no school taxes,
buckshee medicare, and no rent to
pay. The Lord and Ottawa
provide. |

You will also be in line for a lot

‘of loot when our stunned and
idiotic. society finds jt has
presented the red man with all the
fishing and other natural resource
tights. As Haida-person James
“Gosnell has observed, ‘‘We own
this province lock, stock and
-barrel.”’
{.. If by some mischance you can’t
‘become an Indian, then the ‘best
thing to Co is to send for my man
i Vic and a corporal's guard from
“the old (watering hole. When

t-yau're faced with being pushed
over a cliff, a little blunderbuss
diplomacy can work wonders.
Our native Indian warriors
boast that they have never been
conquered. Well, | am suggesting

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coor

that iny man Vic and his buddies
can fix that pronto. The more
they read dumb editorials, you
see, and watch the pasty-faced
Svend Robinson, MP, jerking
around on TV with a feather on
his head, the madder they
become.

In addition to claiming
everything, the Indians also claira
they have never signed a treaty
relinquishing control over B.C.
There’s a solution to that, too. All
that’s needed is pen and paper.
Sign here...

The Charter of Rights and
Freedoms? Get lost, Ottawa. In
the new Kingdom of British Col-
umbia we'll do a bit of re-writing.

Right now, alas, all we get is
jaw-jaw, plus the above-
mentioned editorials and articles
telling us what a lot of rotters we
are. The articles are usually writ-
ten by university professors who
won't even have a little red
schoolhouse if the Indian brethren
get what they want.

At the very least, the profs
would find that the restraint pro-
gram over which they have been
bleating so much would look like
the Kiondike gold strike com-
pared with what would be left
after we’ve surrendered on the
land claims. They are so brainy,
though, that they can‘t see that.

Marching in lockstep with these
academic nitwits is the NDP,
which represents the
schoolteacher school of thought.
The churches are in the parade,
too. Only the other day, Anglican
chiefs who want to be Indian
chiefs donated $10,000 to the
Haida.

The schoolteacher school of
thought has it that there is nothing

2999

Doug Collins

© get this straight

finer than surrender, and that
what we took fair and square and
made something of, must be relin-
quished. Just like in South Africa.

Bill Bennett, Brian Smith and
Garde Gardom are trying to hold
the fort for us, But with fifth col-
umnists guarding the walls, they
aren’t having it easy. Political
poofterdom heaps dreck on their
heads.

Bear in mind that Ambleside
Park has already been captured by
the tribes and awaits conversion
to wig-wam land. But Stanley
Park will have to go before the
man in the street wakes up to what
is going on.

As I say, friends, become In-
dians yourselves or send for my
man Vic and his squad.

: WELCOME TO
| WEST VANCOUVER
KINDERGARTENS

You are invited to see them in action,

We offer you the Core Programme PLUS
~- Emergent Reading and Writing

— French
— Computers
— Challenge and Enrichment

| Freesia
| African Violets

| Daffodils

5 for 2°
: 1°9
4” pot

So 1%

Sorry — no dofivery on these Items

WE ARE PROUD OF OUR KINDERGARTENS

kkk kkk k kkk kak kak

Following are Open House details. PLEASE PHONE THE

ARRANGEMENTS.

CAULFEILD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

4685 Keith Road - 926-3241
Welcomes Visitors .
March 3-March 7, 9:00 to 11:00 a.m.
Please phone for an appointment.

CHARTWELL ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
1300 Chariwell Drive - 922-3928

a Phone now to arrange to meet

4 the teachers and principal, see the
programmes offered and tour the school.

B February 24 to February 28

® 9:00-10:15 a.m.
KINDERGARTEN CURRICULUM NIGHT
Wednesday, March 5th at 7:00 p.m. -

GLENEAGLES ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
6350 Marine Drive - 921-7421

Meet the Kindergarten teachers and
principal — March 25th at 7:00 p.m.
KINDERGARTEN VISITATION WEE.

April 2t to April 25

8:40 to 11:10 a.m. and 12:10 to 2:40 p.m.
Please call and let us know when you will
be visiting.

ECOLE HOLLYBURN SCHOOL

B 1329 Duchess Avenue - 922-9348
i Kindergarten Visitations will be held March
10 and 11 — 9:00 to 11:30 a.m. and 12:30
to 3:00 p.m.
March 12 — 9:00 to 11:30 a.m.
Please call Mrs. Marshall to arrange a day
and time.
INFORMATION MEETING - March 12 at
7:00 p.m. for parents interested in entering
Barly French Immersion — Hollyburn

ym.

. | SCHOOL OF YOUR CHOICE TO MAKE THE NECESSARY ;

IRWIN PARK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL ‘ff
2455 Haywood Avenue - 926-3244 .
Weicome to our Kindergarten Open House §
— April 14 to 18 — 9:15 to 10:30 a.m.
April 16 — 9:15 to 10:30 a.m. and 7:30 to
9:00 p.m. ; .
For appointments and information please °
phone. :

RIDGEVIEW ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

1250 Mathers Avenue - 922-0125 a
Welcome to our Kindergarten Open House
March 3, 4, 5, 6 — 9:30 to 10:30 a.ni.
Please phone for information

WEST BAY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
3175 Thompson Place - 926-3248
Welcomes visitors to our Open House
March 10 to March 13 — 9:15 to 10315
a.m. and 12:45 to 1:45 p.m. i
Please call and let us know when you will
be visiting.

WESTCOT ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

760 Westcot Road - 922-0185 .
February 24 to February 27 — 9:00 to \
10:30 a.m. \
Please drop in for a visit with the principal, §
observation-of the Kindergarten class and §
a school tour.

For information please call the school.

SCHOOL DISTRICT #45
WEST VANCOUVER