QUESTION: I really, don’t like it to havé my mom dating a man. My young brother who is 12 is mad about it too. My sister is 17 and of course she thinks it’s neat for my mom to be dating. She says we should be glad she’s dating and what's the matter with us. She said mom has been divorced for almost two years, how long do you want her to wait? I don't know how long I want her to wait, but I know I don't like her boyfriend and I don't like her going out with him. Don’t you honestly think it's too soon for her to be acting like a kid already? “STEWART: It may feel to YOU like it’s too soon for your mother to be develop- QUESTION: Quite often you seem able to get right to the point of a matter and leave out a whole lot of the trimmings. I wonder if you would do that for me? Here’s the sort of thing that bothers me. For nearly two years now I have been working through all the angles I can think of that are related to my becoming a more mature and fulfilled human being. I've made some progress, of course, but I feel I have just made a small start. 'm pret- ty excited about the Higher Consciousness literature. (I even like the phrase itself). But the books are so com- plicated and each one seems to read as though ft ts the one and only way, or at least the very best way. That doesn’t bother me so mach as the intricacies of the books bother me. What I need is one page to say, “This ts what the book Is say- ing”. Why can’t it be more simple for people like me? All I want is to be a more complete person. So why do the books have to list for me the five Stages and the seven Pathways and the four Cen- tres and the 16 Methods and the three hundred Planes and the two. thousand Chakras? Why do they get all gummed up in the fine dif- ferences between the mind and the ego and the soul and the subconscious and the spirit and the self and something that’s called the third eye!? I need it all pared down to something I can get my baby teeth into. 1 think I have the capacity to absorb what | need to understand, but I'm not a Ph.D. So — what I am asking you is this. Cam you say something simple cnough to be a lure for me and pro- . found enough for me to feel ke there is something in if? STEWART: | think [‘ve read that book! This is my CURRENT simplicity that I don’t mind sharing with you. You'll always have to dig and scar- ut the ing: friendships with men, but - I expect it doesn’t feel too soon to her. You may be a little scared that if she begins to love this man that she will not have enough love left over for you. But it usually works the other way around. If she is “in love” she will probably love you more than ever. The only thing I feel a little scary about is how you and your kid brother will act. You see, if you do something or say something that will make your mother feel guilty about her new friendship, then it will become a very difficult thing for her to han- dle well becaise she loves you. If she seems to be hap- py, you can allow yourself to be happy about her being happy. Freelance Counsellor Ha yiden Stewart may be reached at 261 -6242 for appointments for individual, family or group counselling. His new Office in the International Plaza Hotel (Open Tuesdays only) is for the convenence of North Shore residents. mom bedating? Be as loving and kind to her as you possibly can be and I think you will find her _ love for you getting to be more and more. When you stop to think of it, Pl bet you'd feel much worse if you began to think that your mother has sort of come to the end of her life and should not have close friends and perhaps love. Right now she seems to be warm and alive and looking forward. That's good for her, but it is also very good for you! Or would you rather have her dry up and have no fun and no friends? If she did that, she would not be like your mom at all would she? Give her your love, let her love you, and be grateful she is looking ahead, WITH YOU. trimmings ch, but here's a sort of bare bones idea to help keep you’ centred while you do your pondering and wondering and upreaching. Please don’t try to analyze it or explain it to yourself. Just see if you can get the feel of it: 1. Be honest with yourself about who you are and where you're at right now. 2. Learn to “listen” to your best self and to “hear” how it is with you now. 3. Practice allowing yourself to be enthusiastic and con- tent about what you “hear”, even if it costs or hurts. 4. Learn to be flexible and open to change as you ab- to reach: Editorial Dept. Accounting Dept. Credit Dept. to reach: Display Advertising only Main Office Display Advertising ... Classified Advertising . . The NEWS has a new phone number. Dial 985-2137 Publisher's Office ee eee 985-2131 . 980-0511 086-6222 Circulation Department . 966-1337 1139 Lonsdale Ave., North Vancouver sorb what your best self tells you. Truth and beauty and love are in you. “Hear” them and say ‘yes’ to them. sunday news north shore | QUESTION; | i have an “im: _ possible dream” that takes up a lot of my energy. I, ' know it is just a dream, and I know it is impossible for me, and yet I keep on thinking about it and being depressed because it is so impossible. What do YOU do with an eee dream? STEWART: I'm not going to touch that one with the skim- py bit of information you've given me. Write more. You see, if your ‘dream’ calls upon you to run the 100 metres in the Winter Olym- pics of 1980, then the im- possibilities are related to certain facts. The Winter Textured look. 115 cm. Gold’s reg. 4.49 Save 24% Chateau Linen 1980 fashion essential! A beauti- ful blend of polyester. cotton and silk slubs. 115 cm. 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