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36 - Sunday, July 10, 1988 - North Shore News

LIFESTYLES

HIGH-RISE

DEAR MISS MANNERS — I live in a high-rise apartment
building. It is customary, upon arriving home at the end of
the day, for my neighbors to pick up their mail and then
ride the elevator up to their apartments.

It strikes me as a bit impolite
when my neighbors rip open their
mail riding in the clevator.
Although I don’t always engage
my fellow efevator-riders in con-
versation on the way up, ! think
i’s at least correct to be sociable
and to acknowledge their presence.
Yet I’ve always thought it bad
manners te look at someone while
he‘or she is opening mail, because
of the appearance that one is pry-

miss
manners
Judith Martin

ing. I think mait-opening should
be done in a private piace. What
do you think?

GENTLE READER -; Well, now,
let’s not get too worked up over
this. Miss Manners is in favor of
neighborliness on the elevator, but
she is not going to declare it a
drawing room.

There are all those people, com-
ing home from work, anxious to
see: the size of their cheques and
bills, and to be comforted by in-

reguiar prices for ail

vitations and love letters. A pleas-
amt nod to others sharing the ride
would be quite enough to demon-
strate cordiality. Holding a full-
fledged discussion of the weather,
which is the preferred elevator
topic (speculating on it for rides
down and criticizing it ‘on rides
up), is optional.

DEAR MISS MANNERS -— |
have put myself in quite an un-
comfortable spot, and I'm not sure
how to save face. When I remar-
ried, my husband and I received
very nice wedding gifts, aud we
were grateful for each of them.
But I'm afraid I showed our ap-
preciation quite poorly. { am
forgetful when it comes to writing
letters, aud I did not get all of our
thank-yous out.

I feel terrible. Do you have any
suggestions for resolving the situa-
tion, s@ that I don’t have to feel
ashamed when next I see these
people? They are mostly my hus-
band’s immediate famiiy, and also
a few of my own. I don’t want this
hanging over my head any longer.

GENTLE READER — What do |

you mean, you showed your ap-
preciation poorly? You didn’t
show it at all, did you?

If Miss’ Manners weren’t so
softhearted, she would simply
allow you to hang there. Etiquette
is not under the same obligation as
religion to forgive the repentant.

But, oh, all right. If you do
penance right this minute, by writ-
ing letters in which you not only
thank each person but apologize
profusely for your rudeness in
delaying, Miss Manners will
forgive you and encourage your
relatives to do-so, as well.

DEAR MISS MANNERS — We
are the perents of three very young
children. Recently we invited some

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friends and their children to a
small party. Several days before,
we learned that all members of one
family we had invited were sick
with bad colds.

We became concerned that our
children would be exposed to their
illness but were uncertain as to
how to un-invile them. AS we were
unable to determine the proper
way, we just hoped they would use
their judgment and sense of re-
sponsibility ‘o decide against com-
ing.

But the family did attend, and
within two days our children cam:
down with the cofds and fevers and
other symptoms that the other
family is now recovering from.
Was there any way we could have
tactfully dealt with the situation?
Or should we have cancelled the
party altogether?

GENTLE READER — The tactful
way to head them off would have
been to say: ‘‘No, no, you’re very
kind, but we wouldn’t dream of

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the elevator

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to think that some of the other
guests might be exposed to colds.
We'll do something when you’re
all better.”

letting you run around sick iike
that. | won’t hear of it. 1 wouldn’t
forgive myself if your children got
worse, and of course, I would hate

AG

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THOMASVILLE GALLERY el

CRAWFORD
@ GREEN

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