Hayden Stewart Freelance . Counsellor Hayden Stewart may be reached at 261-6242 for appointments for individual, family or group counselling. | His. new office in the Plaza international Hotel (open Tuesdays only) is tor the convenience of North Shore residents. Don’t hurt yourself QUESTION: With the gov- ernment and big business and unions all setting aside honesty and integrity and high moral behaviour in such ‘sickening and unforgivable ways, what’s wrong with me getting in on the game and doing some high class cheating and stealing? Why should I not perform in the same league? STEWART: Here's one brief reason. Because when the governinent and the others you name get into that way of life, you yourself say it is sickening and unforgivable. ‘l only QUESTION: If you stretched a point I suppose you could say that 1 have a drinking problem. Lots of people tell me I have, but 1 don’t agree with them at all. There’s no problem connected with alcoholic drinking as long as you drink In a civilized manner. By civilized, I mean in moderation. That’s the program [I’m on and It's working out p-etty well. Those friends of mine and my wife don't agree with me and keep trying all sorts of ways to get me to A.A. Now there are two things | want to ask you. ['ve gone to A.A, a couple of times to size them up and believe me they don’t Impress me one little bit. If there ever was a bunch of phony losers, they are the ones. So here’s the first question—what have = they got that I haven't got? Now about moderation tn drinking. Don't you honestly think there Is real worth In a person who can drink socially At the Rocky Horror P rie QUESTION: Remember when you. talked about the Rocky Horror Picture Show about a month age? Well, I told my dad what you said about some parents attend- ing the show along with their kids and I expected him to flip about those . parents being out of their heads. You see there’s just no doubt about it my dad is pretty darn square and that’s why I expected him to snort a bit and just put those parents down. - . Do you know what hap- ‘pened? Instead of doing what I expected, he said, ‘‘You know, Id kind of like fo give that show a look-see’’. My. first reaction was that he’d want to go so he could pan the thing as an eye witness. But then he asked me if it would be all right with me if he went along with me next time! !!! ‘. Well anyway, me and my dad and two of my friends - went together. I was sort of up tight because I sure didn’t want him to blow it all by - walking out or something. Well, anyway, I really got acquainted with a new side of my dad that I didn’t know he had. At first I thought he was Sort of putting on an act just to please me and my friends, but pretty soon I knew it wasn’t an act at all, he was really having a good time. He really took down his hair and had a darn good time. He laughed and hollered and threw rice and really let himself go. He was as loose as a goose! I don’t know what he’d have done if he’d seen If YOU do it, it will also be sickening and unforgivable (to you). _ You will then be saddled, in you own opinion with feelings of guilt and shame and failure. I feel certain you icture Show.” Jad was | t some of his ‘stuffy business buddies there, but I didn’t’ think of that til the next day because we were having a ball. - oo [Pm not pushing the show for parents by a long shot. It would spoil’ everything if : they attended in droves. But : the thing I’m talking about is that my dad had a crazy chance to act like a nut and he really did enjoy himself. Do you think ‘a whole lot of dads are really looking for a chance to have fun with their kids and don’t know any way to do it? STEWART: You’ve latched on to something! Kids are so scared their parents will be stiff and old-fashioned that they do all they can to avoid being with them while any of their friends are around. And. parents are scared they’ll have to get right out of character in order to be friends with the kids. SO, what happens time and again, is the kids and their parents both scheme to keep out of each other’s hair, at the very same _ time wanting, (way down deep) to find appropriate ways to enjoy each other and share their love. You’re right! The answer is NOT in parents all heading off to the Rocky Horror Picture Show with their kids. The answer lies somewhere in the exciting business of parents and_ kids OPEN to the beautiful hidden qualitites in each other.Most parents and most kids long to share their love with each other. Let it be! being will not want to play such a dirty trick an yourself. There are many other parts to an answer to your query, but that one was my first choice. Don't hurt yourself! rink socially’ without problems? What’s wrong with that? STEWART: You've asked {wo questions. First, what do A.A. members have that | haven't go? Probably nothing except sobriety. Second question: What's wrong with a person who can drink sociafly without prob- lems? In theory, I) would answer, “‘Nothing!"'. But you've written this Jetter about YOU, not about a theory. Your friends and your wife, (people who like and love you) apparently feel that you are not secing the true picture of your situation. They are interested ins you and concerned about you and cager to see you find help. Now they MAY be just a bunch of interfering busy. bodies, bul ois more likely that they are simply good concerned friends I'm getting used to drink. ers in moderation telling me every few months, ‘‘I'm quitting drinking’. Why do they want to quit their moderation program I wonder. Moderation (in anything that you or your loved ones see as a danger- ous problem) cheats you at both ends. First, you don't get the strong quiet joy there is in feeling that your life is the way you want it to be, so, you must continually try to ‘*be careful’. And second, you don’t get the seeming joy out. of being an all-out unrepentant drunk. I've just cead over what I've said in answering your questions and am aware that 1 have been somewhat preoccupied with the strong possibility that you are an alcoholic. If you are, (and remember that almost EVERYONE denies it) keep in mind that) your chosen program of | drinking = in moderation is quite likely without any hope of serving you rewardingly. The best hope for an alcoholic fies in his sobriety Spring time prints for soft dresses & blouses! 100% polyester, 60” reg. low 5.99 Stretch Terry Solids Fabulous for com- fortable action wear! Polyester, cotton & nylon Super Value! Variety of colourtul designs for your home and office decorating Easy to stretch, frame & hang! 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