Hayden
Stewart

Freelance

. Counsellor
Hayden Stewart may be
reached at 261-6242 for
appointments for individual,
family or group counselling. |
His. new office in the Plaza

international Hotel (open
Tuesdays only) is tor the
convenience of North Shore
residents.

Don’t
hurt
yourself

QUESTION: With the gov-
ernment and big business
and unions all setting aside
honesty and integrity and
high moral behaviour in such
‘sickening and unforgivable
ways, what’s wrong with me
getting in on the game and
doing some high class
cheating and stealing? Why
should I not perform in the
same league?

STEWART: Here's one brief
reason. Because when the
governinent and the others
you name get into that way of
life, you yourself say it is
sickening and unforgivable.

‘l only

QUESTION: If you stretched
a point I suppose you could
say that 1 have a drinking
problem. Lots of people tell
me I have, but 1 don’t agree
with them at all. There’s no
problem connected with
alcoholic drinking as long as
you drink In a civilized
manner. By civilized, I mean
in moderation.

That’s the program [I’m on
and It's working out p-etty
well. Those friends of mine
and my wife don't agree with
me and keep trying all sorts
of ways to get me to A.A.

Now there are two things |
want to ask you. ['ve gone to
A.A, a couple of times to size
them up and believe me they
don’t Impress me one little
bit. If there ever was a bunch
of phony losers, they are the
ones. So here’s the first
question—what have = they
got that I haven't got?

Now about moderation tn
drinking. Don't you honestly
think there Is real worth In a
person who can drink socially

At the Rocky Horror P

rie

QUESTION: Remember
when you. talked about the
Rocky Horror Picture Show
about a month age? Well, I
told my dad what you said
about some parents attend-
ing the show along with their
kids and I expected him to
flip about those . parents
being out of their heads. You
see there’s just no doubt
about it my dad is pretty darn
square and that’s why I
expected him to snort a bit
and just put those parents
down. - .

Do you know what hap-
‘pened? Instead of doing what
I expected, he said, ‘‘You
know, Id kind of like fo give

that show a look-see’’. My.

first reaction was that he’d
want to go so he could pan
the thing as an eye witness.
But then he asked me if it
would be all right with me if
he went along with me next
time! !!!

‘. Well anyway, me and my

dad and two of my friends

- went together. I was sort of

up tight because I sure didn’t

want him to blow it all by -

walking out or something.
Well, anyway, I really got
acquainted with a new side of
my dad that I didn’t know he
had.

At first I thought he was
Sort of putting on an act just
to please me and my friends,
but pretty soon I knew it
wasn’t an act at all, he was
really having a good time. He
really took down his hair and
had a darn good time.

He laughed and hollered
and threw rice and really let
himself go. He was as loose
as a goose! I don’t know what
he’d have done if he’d seen

If YOU do it, it will also be
sickening and unforgivable
(to you).

_ You will then be saddled,
in you own opinion with
feelings of guilt and shame
and failure. I feel certain you

icture Show.”

Jad was |

t

some of his ‘stuffy business

buddies there, but I didn’t’

think of that til the next day
because we were having a
ball. - oo

[Pm not pushing the show
for parents by a long shot. It
would spoil’ everything if

: they attended in droves. But
: the thing I’m talking about is

that my dad had a crazy
chance to act like a nut and
he really did enjoy himself.
Do you think ‘a whole lot of
dads are really looking for a
chance to have fun with their
kids and don’t know any way
to do it?

STEWART: You’ve latched
on to something! Kids are so
scared their parents will be
stiff and old-fashioned that
they do all they can to avoid
being with them while any of
their friends are around. And.
parents are scared they’ll
have to get right out of
character in order to be
friends with the kids.

SO, what happens time
and again, is the kids and
their parents both scheme to
keep out of each other’s hair,
at the very same _ time
wanting, (way down deep) to
find appropriate ways to
enjoy each other and share
their love.

You’re right! The answer
is NOT in parents all heading
off to the Rocky Horror
Picture Show with their kids.
The answer lies somewhere

in the exciting business of

parents and_ kids
OPEN to the beautiful
hidden qualitites in each
other.Most parents and most
kids long to share their love
with each other. Let it be!

being

will not want to play such a
dirty trick an yourself.

There are many other
parts to an answer to your
query, but that one was my
first choice. Don't hurt
yourself!

rink socially’

without problems? What’s
wrong with that?

STEWART: You've asked
{wo questions. First, what do
A.A. members have that |
haven't go? Probably
nothing except sobriety.

Second question: What's
wrong with a person who can
drink sociafly without prob-

lems? In theory, I) would
answer, “‘Nothing!"'. But
you've written this Jetter
about YOU, not about a
theory.

Your friends and your

wife, (people who like and
love you) apparently feel that
you are not secing the true
picture of your situation.
They are interested ins you
and concerned about you
and cager to see you find
help. Now they MAY be just
a bunch of interfering busy.
bodies, bul ois more likely
that they are simply good
concerned friends

I'm getting used to drink.
ers in moderation telling me

every few months, ‘‘I'm
quitting drinking’. Why do

they want to quit their
moderation program I
wonder. Moderation (in

anything that you or your
loved ones see as a danger-
ous problem) cheats you at
both ends. First, you don't
get the strong quiet joy there
is in feeling that your life is
the way you want it to be, so,
you must continually try to
‘*be careful’. And second,
you don’t get the seeming joy
out. of being an all-out
unrepentant drunk.

I've just cead over what
I've said in answering your
questions and am aware that
1 have been somewhat
preoccupied with the strong
possibility that you are an
alcoholic. If you are, (and
remember that almost
EVERYONE denies it) keep
in mind that) your chosen
program of | drinking = in
moderation is quite likely
without any hope of serving
you rewardingly. The best
hope for an alcoholic fies in
his sobriety

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ith & Arbutus 736-0538

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